Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter September 4, 2013

Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
SEPTEMBER 4, 2013
FreeWillAstrology.com

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Dear Readers:

I suspect that none of us has the capacity to foretell the future of the human race. No one -- not psychics, not doomsayers, not intelligent optimists, indigenous shamans, no one.

There is a strong case to be made that this is the worst of times, and an equally strong case that this is the best of times; a strong case that everything will collapse into a miserable dystopia and a strong case that we are on the verge of a golden age.

It's impossible to know in any "objective way" which is "truer." Anyone who asserts they do know is just cherry-picking evidence that rationalizes their emotional bent. The variables are chaotic and abundant and beyond our ken.

In the meantime, I'm doing what I can to create a golden age.

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My book
PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA
is available at Amazon: bit.ly/Pronoia
or Powells: bit.ly/PronoiaPowells

Here's an excerpt:

LETTERS TO THE BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB, Part 2

DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: Can you tell me why my trivial prayers are often answered (please don't let the light turn red, please let there be enough milk for one cup of coffee, etc.), but never my big life-changing prayers (please send me a soul mate, please help me make money at what I love to do)? Are God's priorities screwed up, or is it me? - Dumb Luck Collector

Dear DLC: There's an old fairy tale in which two old folks are given three wishes by a magic dwarf, but impulsively waste them on the first silly whims that pop into their heads. I'll tell you what I would have told them: Proceed on the assumption that only a few of your fervent prayers will be granted. Don't use them up on pleas for convenience when you're tired, cranky, or desperate. A Tibetan proverb says, "The person who gets stuck on petty happiness will not attain great happiness."

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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: You must be kidding with your Pollyanna crap. Either that or you're lying to get gullible people to love you and give you money.

The truth is, life is not in the least bit kind. It's a brutal struggle for survival -- at best. We are, sadly, animals who are stuck being conscious of our own mortality, forever stalked by death, and trying to avoid both that knowledge and the inevitable appearance of the grim reaper. Wake up and see the sickness and misery that life on this planet really is. - Your Good Cheer Makes Me Puke

Dear Puker: It's true that the Beauty and Truth Lab errs on the side of optimism, but only because so many so-called experts and leaders err on the side of cynicism. Our calling is to overcompensate for the relentless propaganda that creates the false impression that ugliness rules the world.

By the way, when we urge people to more fully appreciate the multitude of blessings they take for granted, it's not the same as advising them to pretend there's no suffering in the world.

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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: I recently borrowed a copy of your book Pronoia from my local library. I was attracted to the idea of scribbling my thoughts and ideas in the book, but I was unsure whether I should commit this act of flagrant vandalism. Then I noticed the book had been borrowed at least a half dozen times prior, but nobody had written anything in it. I was shocked. Clearly they were zombies, or else too (un-pronoiacally?) reverent to the sacred scrolls to tarnish its beauty.

So, my question is: Would you write, scribble, and doodle in a library book? - Artillery

Dear Artillery: Did you ever hear the CD called The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull? We're listening to it right now.

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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: I was lying in my bed basking in a sunbeam this morning, too comfortable to get up and take my Prozac, when I thought, Hey, what if I'm not, you know, emotionally challenged? What if I'm just lazy? Maybe if I worked harder at cultivating happiness, I'd just sort of outgrow my depression -- you know, render it irrelevant. Do you have an opinion about this theory? - Slothful Slack Seeker

Dear Slothful: We'd have to know more about your personal history to evaluate whether laziness is the cause of your depression. We do know this, though: Many people are extremely lax about their pursuit of happiness. Here's our question to you: What tricks would you have to play on yourself in order to get more aggressive about mastering the art of feeling really good?

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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: It's my goal to become a Texas Congressman 12 years from now and a Senator 20 years from now. I have a lot of original ideas about how to make the world a better place, and I've decided that the best way to make them happen is by becoming a force in national politics. Do you have any advice on how to proceed in a pronoiac manner? - Pragmatic Idealist Who Doesn't Need to Marry a Blond, Blue-Eyed Cheerleader with Six-Pack Abs

Dear Pragmatic Idealist: First, you could obtain a piece of the Burning Bush from the monastery of St. Catherine of Alexandria on Mt. Sinai. Next, acquire a tooth or finger bone of Mary Magdalene from one of her reliquaries in southern France. Bring these sacred objects to the NorthPark Center shopping mall in Dallas during a blow-out sale. While kneeling in front of the ATM near Neiman Marcus, place a shred of the bush under your tongue as you stroke the tooth or finger bone and reverently intone Emily Dickinson's poem "Soul at the White Heat."

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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: During your shows or workshops or rituals or whatever you call them, I have heard you refer to "learning the difference between stupid suffering and smart suffering." I had no idea what you were talking about until recently.

The truth finally hit me the morning after I climbed into bed with my sort of ex-boyfriend. He's pretty good at the sex thing, technically speaking, even though his inability to converse intelligently and honestly about emotions drives me into the ninth level of the abyss.

Afterward, as I got dressed, feeling that bizarre and oh-so-familiar disjunction of having had a physical release but being utterly distraught by the lack of authentic connection between me and the person who helped incite that orgasm, I suddenly thought, "Wow! This is stupid suffering. I've done this and done this and done this to death. Stupid suffering is repeating a lesson I've already learned and been through."

In the next breath I mused, "Maybe smart suffering is what happens when I'm trying something new, taking a good risk, that will teach me tough lessons I didn't even realize I needed to learn."

Thanks to you people for planting the seed in my head, and thanks to me for finally sprouting it. - Smart Sufferer

Dear Smart Sufferer: Don't be too hard on yourself about your "stupid" suffering -- especially in this case. Your stupid suffering was actually pretty smart, since it catalyzed in you an insight about avoiding stupid suffering in the future.

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Did you know that I've created two hours' worth of free, downloadable music and spoken word pieces? Find it all here: bit.ly/15kyX2o

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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:

"Scientific American" chimes in on the power of pronoiac thinking: "Your thoughts can release abilities beyond normal limits. Better vision, stronger muscles -- expectations can have surprising effects."
Excerpt:
"Thinking that we are limited is itself a limiting factor. There is accumulating evidence that suggests that our thoughts are often capable of extending our cognitive and physical limits."
tinyurl.com/pqc4am5

India Bans Animal Testing for Cosmetics, Joining the EU and Israel in Surpassing the US in Cruelty-Free Cosmetics Testing Policy
tinyurl.com/pde38gp

Animals to be banned in Circuses in India
tinyurl.com/q4g38fw

(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements, and I get no kickbacks.)

Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning September 5

Copyright 2013 by Rob Brezsny
FreeWillAstrology.com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

In his "Song of the Open Road," Walt Whitman wrote some lyrics that I hope will provide you with just the right spark. Even if you're not embarking on a literal journey along a big wide highway, my guess is that you are at least going to do the metaphorical equivalent. "Henceforth I ask not good fortune -- I myself am good fortune," said Uncle Walt. "Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing. Strong and content, I travel the open road."

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

Mystical poet St. John of the Cross (1542-1591) was one of Spain's greatest writers. But not all of his work came easily. When he was 35, a rival religious group imprisoned him for his mildly heretical ideas. He spent the next nine months in a ten-foot by six-foot jail cell, where he was starved, beaten, and tortured. It was there that he composed his most renowned poem, "Spiritual Canticle." Does that provide you with any inspiration, Libra? I'll make a wild guess and speculate that maybe you're in a tough situation yourself right now. It's not even one percent as tough as St. John's, though. If he could squeeze some brilliance out of his predicament, you can, too.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

The American naturalist John Burroughs (1837-1921) traveled widely and wrote 23 books. "I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think," he testified, "all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see." Let's make that longing for abundance serve as your rallying cry during the next two weeks, Scorpio. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you have a cosmic mandate to push to the limits -- and sometimes beyond -- as you satisfy your quest to be, see, and do everything you love to be, see, and do.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

Punk icon Henry Rollins did an interview with Marilyn Manson, rock and roll's master of the grotesque. It's on Youtube. The comments section beneath the video are rife with spite and bile directed toward Manson, driving one fan to defend her hero. "I love Marilyn Manson so much that I could puke rainbows," she testified. I think you will need to tap into that kind of love in the coming days, Sagittarius: fierce, intense, and devotional, and yet also playful, funny, and exhilarating. You don't necessarily have to puke rainbows, however. Maybe you could merely spit them.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

If you want to know a secret, I talk less crazy to you Capricorns than I do to the other signs. I tone down my wild-eyed, goddess-drunk shape-shifting a bit. I rarely exhort you to don an animal costume and dance with the fairy folk in the woods, and I think the last time I suggested that you fall in love with an alien, angel, or deity was . . . never. So what's my problem? Don't you feel taboo urges and illicit impulses now and then? Isn't it true that like everyone else, you periodically need to slip away from your habitual grooves and tamper with the conventional wisdom? Of course you do. Which is why I hereby repeal my excessive caution. Get out there, Capricorn, and be as uninhibited as you dare.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

Germany's Ostwall Museum displayed a conceptual installation by the artist Martin Kippenberger. Valued at $1.1 million, it was called "When It Starts Dripping from the Ceiling." Part of it was composed of a rubber tub that was painted to appear as if it had once held dirty rainwater. One night while the museum was closed, a new janitor came in to tidy up the premises. While performing her tasks, she scrubbed the rubber tub until it was "clean," thereby damaging the art. Let this be a cautionary tale, Aquarius. It's important for you to appreciate and learn from the messy stuff in your life -- even admire its artistry -- and not just assume it all needs to be scoured and disinfected.

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YOU NEED MAGIC

Every day, you have to wade through a relentless surge of soul-less information. The experience tends to shut down your sense of wonder.

Every day, you're over-exposed to narratives that have been sucked free of delight and mystery. That's why you have to make strenuous efforts to keep your world enchanted.

I aspire to contribute to the sacred cause of feeding your sense of wonder and enchantment. That's one of my main motivations for offering you my free horoscopes, book excerpts, and music.

If you ever want more of that stuff, and think it's worth paying for, try out my Expanded Audio Horoscopes. They're four-to-five-minute meditations on the current state of your destiny.

Go here to access them: RealAstrology.com

You can also listen over the phone by calling
1-877-873-4888

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

In her novel White Oleander, Janet Fitch suggests that beauty is something to be used, "like a hammer or a key." That's your assignment, Pisces. Find practical ways to make your beauty work for you. For example, invoke it to help you win friends and influence people. Put it into action to drum up new opportunities and hunt down provocative invitations. And don't tell me you possess insufficient beauty to accomplish these things. I guarantee you that you have more than enough. To understand why I'm so sure, you may have to shed some ugly definitions of beauty you've unconsciously absorbed from our warped culture.

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

"No regrets? Really?" asks author Richard Power. "I have regrets. They are sacred to me. They inform my character. They bear witness to my evolution. Glimpses of lost love and treasure are held inside of them; like small beautiful creatures suspended in amber." I think you can see where this horoscope is going, Aries. I'm going to suggest you do what Powers advises: "Do not avoid your regrets. Embrace them. Listen to their stories. Hold them to your heart when you want to remember the price you paid to become who you truly are." (Find more by Richard Power here: tinyurl.com/RichardPower.)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

Urbandictionary.com says that the newly coined word "orgasnom" is what you call the ecstatic feelings you have as you eat especially delectable food. It's derived, of course, from the word "orgasm." According to my reading of the astrological omens, you are in an excellent position to have a number of orgasmic-like breakthroughs in the coming week. Orgasnoms are certainly among them, but also orgasaurals, orgasights, and orgasversations -- in other words, deep thrills resulting from blissful sounds, rapturous visions, and exciting conversations. I won't be surprised if you also experience several other kinds of beautiful delirium.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

If you were about to run in a long-distance race, you wouldn't eat a dozen doughnuts. Right? If you were planning to leave your native land and spend a year living in Ethiopia, you wouldn't immerse yourself in learning how to speak Chinese in the month before you departed. Right? In that spirit, I hope you'll be smart about the preparations you make in the coming weeks. This will be a time to prime yourself for the adventures in self-expression that will bloom in late September and the month of October. What is it you want to create at that time? What would you like to show the world about yourself?

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

The Constitution of the United States is the supreme law of the land. It's the foundation of the most politically powerful nation on the planet. And yet when it originally went into effect in 1789, it was only 4,543 words long -- about three times the length of this horoscope column. The Bill of Rights, enacted in 1791, added a mere 462 words. By contrast, India's Constitution is 117,000 words, more than 20 times longer. If you create a new master plan for yourself in the coming months, Cancerian -- as I hope you will -- a compact version like America's will be exactly right. You need diamond-like lucidity, not sprawling guesswork.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

There are two scientific terms for tickling. "Knismesis" refers to a soft, feathery touch that may be mildly pleasurable. It can be used to display adoring tenderness. The heavier, deeper kind of tickling is called "gargalesis." If playfully applied to sensitive parts of the anatomy, it can provoke fun and laughter. Given the current planetary alignments, Leo, I conclude that both of these will be rich metaphors for you in the coming days. I suggest that you be extra alert for opportunities to symbolically tickle and be tickled. (P.S. Here's a useful allegory: If you do the knismesis thing beneath the snout of a great white shark, you can hypnotize it.)

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HOMEWORK:

If you could make money from doing exactly what you love to do, what would it be? Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright 2013 Rob Brezsny

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