Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter April 18, 2012

Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
APRIL 18, 2012
FreeWillAstrology.com

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My book
PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA
is available at Amazon: bit.ly/Pronoia
or Powells: bit.ly/PronoiaPowells

Here's an excerpt:

MIRABILIA REPORT
(Mirabilia: events that inspire wonder, marvelous phenomena, small miracles, beguiling ephemera, inexplicable joys, changes that inspire quiet awe, eccentric enchantments, unplanned jubilations, sudden deliverance from boring evils; from the Latin mirabilia, "marvels.")

* The National Center for Atmospheric Research reports that the average cloud is the same weight as 100 elephants.

* The seeds of some trees are so tightly compacted within their protective covering that only the intense heat of a forest fire can free them, allowing them to sprout.

* Thirty-eight percent of North America is wilderness.

* Anthropologists say that in every culture in history, children have played the game hide and seek.

* With every dawn, when first light penetrates the sea, many seahorse colonies perform a dance to the sun.

* A seven-year-old Minnesota boy received patent number 6,368,227 for a new method of swinging on a swing.

* A chemist in Australia finally succeeded in mixing oil and water.

* Except among birds and land mammals, the females of most species are bigger than the males.

* The sky not only isn't falling -- it's rising. The top of the troposphere, the atmosphere's lowest layer, is slowly ascending.

* To make a pound of honey, bees have to gather nectar from about two million flowers. To produce a single pound of the spice saffron, humans have to handpick and process 80,000 flowers. In delivering the single survivor necessary to fertilize an ovum, a man releases 500 million sperm.

* Some Christians really do love their enemies, as Jesus recommended.

* Kind people are more likely than mean people to yawn when someone near them does.

* There are always so many fragments of spider legs floating in the air that you are constantly inhaling them wherever you go . . . .

READ THE REST of MIRABILIA REPORT here: bit.ly/zWK11D

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My book THE TELEVISIONARY ORACLE has been reprinted: bit.ly/Televisionary

Read a review here: bit.ly/BrezsnyReview

Excerpts from the review:

"Brezsny holds his own place next to other cultural shamans such as Robert Anton Wilson, Timothy Leary, Reverend Ivan Stang, William S. Burroughs, and Ken Kesey."

"If there is any one thing that stands out in this book above all else, it is Brezsny's use of imagery. Not only does he bring his characters and settings to life with a lucid dreaming vividness, but he creates Technicolor imaginaries out of insane word collages."

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Steal a song from the soundtrack for THE TELEVISIONARY ORACLE: bit.ly/rJBpJq

Kick your own ass!!

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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:

THE LITTLE TRIUMPHS KEEP ADDING UP
Cities Take Up the "Ban the Bag" Fight. Why new policies across the nation could mean the end of plastic bags.
tinyurl.com/7hdbogx

NATURE'S RESILIENCE
Healthy polar bear count confounds doomsayers
tinyurl.com/bps483b

HOW DO YOU SAY "PRONOIA" IN DOLPHIN LANGUAGE?
Dolphins deserve same rights as humans, say scientists
tinyurl.com/7xuzkhx

(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements, and I get no kickbacks.)

Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning April 19

Copyright 2012 by Rob Brezsny
FreeWillAstrology.com

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

Let's see if you know what these exquisitely individuated luminaries have in common: Salvador Dali, Martha Graham, Stephen Colbert, David Byrne, Maya Deren, Malcolm X, Willie Nelson, Bono, Dennis Hopper, Cate Blanchett, George Carlin, Tina Fey, Sigmund Freud. Give up? They are or were all Tauruses. Would you characterize any of them as sensible, materialistic slowpokes obsessed with comfort and security, as many traditional astrology texts describe Tauruses? Nope. They were or are distinctive innovators with unique style and creative flair. They are your role models as you cruise through the current phase of maximum self-expression.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

In December 1946, three Bedouin shepherds were tending their flock near the Dead Sea. They found a cave with a small entrance. Hoping it might contain treasure hidden there long ago, they wanted to explore it. The smallest of the three managed to climb through the narrow opening. He brought out a few dusty old scrolls in ceramic jars. The shepherds were disappointed. But eventually the scrolls were revealed to be one of the most important finds in archaeological history: the first batch of what has come to be known as the Dead Sea Scrolls. Keep this story in mind, Gemini. I suspect a metaphorically similar tale may unfold for you soon. A valuable discovery may initially appear to you in a form you're not that excited about.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

The devil called together a committee meeting of his top assistants. He was displeased. Recruitments of people born under the sign of Cancer had fallen far below projected totals. "It's unacceptable," the dark lord fumed. "Those insufferable Crabs have been too mentally healthy lately to be tantalized by our lies. Frankly, I'm at wit's end. Any suggestions?" His marketing expert said, "Let's redouble our efforts to make them buy into the hoax about the world ending on December 21, 2012." The executive vice-president chimed in: "How about if we play on their fears about running out of what they need?" The chief of intelligence had an idea, too: "I say we offer them irrelevant goodies that tempt them away from their real goals."

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

"If you don't run your own life, someone else will," said psychologist John Atkinson. Make that your motto in the coming weeks, Leo. Write it on a big piece of cardboard and hold it up in front of your eyes as you wake up each morning. Use it as a prod that motivates you to shed any laziness you might have about living the life you really want. Periodically ask yourself these three questions: Are you dependent on the approval, permission, or recognition of others? Have you set up a person, ideology, or image of success that's more authoritative than your own intuition? Is there any area of your life where you have ceded control to an external source?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

Here are the last words that computer pioneer Steve Jobs spoke before he died: "OH WOW. OH WOW. OH WOW." I'd propose that we bring that mantra into as wide a usage as Jobs' other creations, like the iPhone and iPad. I'd love to hear random strangers exclaiming it every time they realize how amazing their lives are. I'd enjoy it if TV newscasters spoke those words to begin each show, acknowledging how mysterious our world really is. I'd be pleased if lovers everywhere uttered it at the height of making love. I nominate you to start the trend, Virgo. You're the best choice, since your tribe, of all the signs of the zodiac, will most likely have the wildest rides and most intriguing adventures in the coming weeks.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

A starfish that loses an arm can grow back a new one. It's an expert regenerator. According to my understanding of the astrological omens, you are entering a starfish-like phase of your cycle. Far more than usual, you'll be able to recover parts of you that got lost and reanimate parts of you that fell dormant. For the foreseeable future, your words of power are "rejuvenate," "restore," "reawaken," and "revive." If you concentrate really hard and fill yourself with the light of the spiritual sun, you might even be able to perform a kind of resurrection.

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LIFE IS BIGGER AND BETTER THAN ANY OF US CAN IMAGINE

In addition to the horoscopes you're reading here, I create more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. Find out more at RealAstrology.com.

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888.

"Your Expanded Audio Horoscopes provide me with the Rest of the Story. I'm not necessarily a believer in the scientific accuracy of astrology, but I do think you've got a lot of practical wisdom to impart."
- M. Tennenbaum, New York

"No one knows more about me than me. But you're right up there near the top of the list of people who do understand something about how I tick. How is that possible?"
- R. Goren, Albuquerque

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

Too much of a good thing isn't necessarily good. (Have you ever hyperventilated?) Too little of a good thing can be bad. (Have you ever gotten dehydrated?) Some things are good in measured doses but bad if done to excess. (Wine and chocolate.) A very little of a very bad thing may still be a bad thing. (It's hard to smoke crack in moderation.) The coming week is prime time to be thinking along these lines, Scorpio. You will generate a lot of the exact insights you need if you weigh and measure everything in your life and judge what is too much and what is too little.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

Sculptor Constantin Brancusi had a clear strategy as he produced his art: "Create like God, command like a king, work like a slave." I suggest you adopt a similar approach for your own purposes in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. With that as your formula, you could make rapid progress on a project that's dear to you. So make sure you have an inspiring vision of the dream you want to bring into being. Map out a bold, definitive plan for how to accomplish it. And then summon enormous stamina, fierce concentration, and unfailing attention to detail as you translate your heart's desire into a concrete form.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

"If there is one door in the castle you have been told not to go through," writes novelist Anne Lamott, "you must. Otherwise, you'll just be rearranging furniture in rooms you've already been in." I think the coming weeks will be your time to slip through that forbidden door, Capricorn. The experiences that await you on the other side may not be everything you have always needed, but I think they are at least everything you need next. Besides, it's not like the taboo against penetrating into the unknown place makes much sense any more. The biggest risk you take by breaking the spell is the possibility of losing a fear you've grown addicted to.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

When rain falls on dry land, it activates certain compounds in the soil that release a distinctive aroma. "Petrichor" is the word for that smell. If you ever catch a whiff of it when there's no rain, it's because a downpour has begun somewhere nearby, and the wind is bringing you news of it. I suspect that you will soon be awash in a metaphorical version of petrichor, Aquarius. A parched area of your life is about to receive much-needed moisture.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

Forty percent of Americans do not know that the dinosaurs died out long before human beings ever existed. When these folks see an old cartoon of caveman Fred Flintstone riding on a Diplodocus, they think it's depicting a historical fact. In the coming weeks, Pisces, you need to steer clear of people who harbor gross delusions like that. It's more important than usual that you hang out with educated, cultured types who possess a modicum of well-informed ideas about the history of humanity and the nature of reality. Surround yourself with intelligent influences, please.

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

You had to take the test before you got a chance to study more than a couple of the lessons. Does that seem fair? Hell, no. That's the bad news. The good news is that this test was merely a rehearsal for a more important and inclusive exam, which is still some weeks in the future. Here's even better news: The teachings that you will need to master before then are flowing your way, and will continue to do so in abundance. Apply yourself with diligence, Aries. You have a lot to learn, but luckily, you have enough time to get fully prepared.

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HOMEWORK:

What movie has your life been like these past few months? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

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Submissions sent to the Free Will Astrology Weekly Newsletter or in response to "homework assignments" may be published in a variety of formats at Rob Brezsny's discretion, including but not limited to newsletters, books, the Free Will Astrology column, and Free Will Astrology website. We reserve the right to edit such submissions for length, style, and content. Requests for anonymity will be honored with submissions; otherwise, reader names, screen names, or initials will be used. Please be sure to note your preference when sending to us. We are not responsible for unsolicited submission of any creative material.

Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright 2012 Rob Brezsny

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