Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter April 28, 2010

Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
APRIL 28, 2010
FreeWillAstrology.com

+

There's another free release from the soundtrack for my book PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA.

It's called "Shadow Blessings."
You can access it here:
bit.ly/ShadowBless

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Personal Horoscope Readings from my colleague Ro Loughran: YourSoulJourney.com

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The revised and expanded version of my book PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA is available at Amazon: bit.ly/Pronoia

and also at Powells: bit.ly/PronoiaPowells

Here's an excerpt:

Last week we ran a selection of "Letters to the Beauty and Truth Lab" -- inquiries from readers who have experimented with pronoia in their lives, as well as our responses. Here we continue with another selection.

LETTERS TO THE BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB, Part 2

DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: Can you tell me why my trivial prayers are often answered (please don't let the light turn red, please let there be enough milk for one cup of coffee, etc.), but never my big life-changing prayers (please send me a soul mate, please help me make money at what I love to do)? Are God's priorities screwed up, or is it me? - Dumb Luck Collector

Dear DLC: There's an old fairy tale in which two old folks are given three wishes by a magic dwarf, but impulsively waste them on the first silly whims that pop into their heads. I'll tell you what I would have told them: Proceed on the assumption that only a few of your fervent prayers will be granted. Don't use them up on pleas for convenience when you're tired, cranky, or desperate. A Tibetan proverb says, "The person who gets stuck on petty happiness will not attain great happiness."

+

DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: You must be kidding with your Pollyanna crap. Either that or you're lying to get gullible people to love you and give you money.

The truth is, life is not in the least bit kind. It's a brutal struggle for survival -- at best. We are, sadly, animals who are stuck being conscious of our own mortality, forever stalked by death, and trying to avoid both that knowledge and the inevitable appearance of the grim reaper. Wake up and see the sickness and misery that life on this planet really is. - Your Good Cheer Makes Me Puke

Dear Puker: It's true that the Beauty and Truth Lab errs on the side of optimism, but only because so many so-called experts and leaders err on the side of cynicism. Our calling is to overcompensate for the relentless propaganda that creates the false impression that ugliness rules the world.

By the way, when we urge people to more fully appreciate the multitude of blessings they take for granted, it's not the same as advising them to pretend there's no suffering in the world.

+

DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: I recently borrowed a copy of Pronoia from my local library. I was attracted to the idea of scribbling my thoughts and ideas in the book, but I was unsure whether I should commit this act of flagrant vandalism. Then I noticed the book had been borrowed at least a half dozen times prior, but nobody had written anything in it. I was shocked. Clearly they were zombies, or else too (un-pronoiacally?) reverent to the sacred scrolls to tarnish its beauty.

So, my question is: Would you write, scribble, and doodle in a library book? - Artillery

Dear Artillery: Did you ever hear the CD called The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull? We're listening to it right now.

+

DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: I was lying in my bed basking in a sunbeam this morning, too comfortable to get up and take my Prozac, when I thought, Hey, what if I'm not, you know, emotionally challenged? What if I'm just lazy? Maybe if I worked harder at cultivating happiness, I'd just sort of outgrow my depression -- you know, render it irrelevant. Do you have an opinion about this theory? - Slothful Slack Seeker

Dear Slothful: We'd have to know more about your personal history to evaluate whether laziness is the cause of your depression. We do know this, though: Many people are extremely lax about their pursuit of happiness. Here's our question to you: What tricks would you have to play on yourself in order to get more aggressive about mastering the art of feeling really good?

+

DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: It's my goal to become a Texas Congressman 12 years from now and a Senator 20 years from now. I have a lot of original ideas about how to make the world a better place, and I've decided that the best way to make them happen is by becoming a force in national politics. Do you have any advice on how to proceed in a pronoiac manner? - Pragmatic Idealist Who Doesn't Need to Marry a Blond, Blue-Eyed Cheerleader with Six-Pack Abs

Dear Pragmatic Idealist: First, you could obtain a piece of the Burning Bush from the monastery of St. Catherine of Alexandria on Mt. Sinai. Next, acquire a tooth or finger bone of Mary Magdalene from one of her reliquaries in southern France. Bring these sacred objects to the NorthPark Center shopping mall in Dallas during a blow-out sale. While kneeling in front of the ATM near Neiman Marcus, place a shred of the bush under your tongue as you stroke the tooth or finger bone and reverently intone Emily Dickenson's poem "Soul at the White Heat."

+

DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: During your shows or workshops or rituals or whatever you call them, I have heard you refer to "learning the difference between stupid suffering and smart suffering." I had no idea what you were talking about until recently.

The truth finally hit me the morning after I climbed into bed with my sort of ex-boyfriend. He's pretty good at the sex thing, technically speaking, even though his inability to converse intelligently and honestly about emotions drives me into the ninth level of the abyss.

Afterward, as I got dressed, feeling that bizarre and oh-so-familiar disjunction of having had a physical release but being utterly distraught by the lack of authentic connection between me and the person who helped incite that orgasm, I suddenly thought, "Wow! This is stupid suffering. I've done this and done this and done this to death. Stupid suffering is repeating a lesson I've already learned and been through."

In the next breath I mused, "Maybe smart suffering is what happens when I'm trying something new, taking a good risk, that will teach me tough lessons I didn't even realize I needed to learn."

Thanks to you people for planting the seed in my head, and thanks to me for finally sprouting it. - Smart Sufferer

Dear Smart Sufferer: Don't be too hard on yourself about your "stupid" suffering -- especially in this case. Your stupid suffering was actually pretty smart, since it catalyzed in you an insight about avoiding stupid suffering in the future.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:

NOT ALL PROPHECIES SMACK OF DOOM AND GLOOM
5 Positive Science Fiction Novels To Enjoy While Waiting for the Singularity
tinyurl.com/y4z8es6

IT'S REALLY SURPRISING HOW MANY MIRACLES THERE ARE
"Miracles" by Insane Clown Posse
Hip hop pronoia (NSFW language)
tinyurl.com/yhunpsr

EXAMINE THE GORGEOUS EVIDENCE OF PRONOIA
The Most Beautiful Spiders in the World
tinyurl.com/yz48ld7

(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements, and I get no kickbacks.)

Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning April 29

Copyright 2010 by Rob Brezsny
FreeWillAstrology.com

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

A little knowledge can be dangerous. I constantly meet people who have boxed themselves into tight spots by misusing their smattering of astrological information. There's no better example of this than the superstition about Mercury retrograde, which is supposedly a bad time to begin anything new. During one such period last year, an acquaintance of mine decided to delay accepting a dream job offer as editor of a magazine. By the time Mercury returned to normal, the magazine had hired another applicant. I wish I'd have known, because I would have told her what I'll tell you: Some of America's biggest, most enduring Fortune 500 companies began when Mercury was retrograde, including Disney, Goodyear, and Boeing. The moral of the story: Of all the signs of the zodiac, it's most important that you Tauruses don't worry about launching new projects during the current Mercury retrograde.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

Would you really prefer it if you had no problems? Do you imagine you'd enjoy life more if everything was pure fun and smoothly easy? Here's an astrological perspective: People who have an over-abundance of positive aspects in their natal horoscopes often turn out to be lucky but lazy bums who never accomplish much. So I say, be thankful for the complications that are visiting you. I bet they will make a man out of you if you're a woman, or a woman out of you if you're a man. If you're white, they'll help you get blacker, and if you're black, they'll make you whiter. Catch my drift? As you do your best to solve the knotty riddle, you'll become better balanced and more versatile than folks who are rarely challenged.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

Here's the most important rule for you in the coming week: Keep your eyes fixed on a vision of your shining destiny. If you do, you'll be unflappable, indefatigable, and irrepressible. Your luck will be so crazy good it'll be almost spooky. Noble deeds you did in the past will finally bring the rewards you deserve. Allies will conspire to assist you, sometimes in ways you couldn't have predicted. I'm not exaggerating, Cancerian. If you stay focused on the highest prize, you'll live a charmed life.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

In 1990, my rock band World Entertainment War played at a San Francisco nightclub on the same bill as the Beatnigs, an assemblage fronted by Michael Franti. Their avant-garde industrial music featured band members rhythmically hitting a steel bar with a power saw and slapping a long chain against a piece of sheet metal hanging from the back wall. Fast-forward to 2009, when Franti's latest band Spearhead released a catchy romantic pop ditty titled "Say Hey (I Love You)," which reached number 18 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. I predict a comparable development for you in the next six months, Leo: moving from a state of raw, dark, obscure power to a state of bright, refined, accessible power.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

Mangosteens and rambutans are exotic fruits that grow in faraway places. The mangosteen is creamy and purple, with a peachy citrus taste, while the rambutan is like a big hairy red grape. This is a perfect moment, astrologically speaking, to invite them into your mouth. Likewise, the time is right for you to consider welcoming other colorful, striking, and foreign elements into your life. So maybe consider making friends with a Paraguayan acrobat. Sing Vietnamese folk songs. Read the memoirs of an Iranian exile. Exchange conspiracy theories with an Icelandic fairy.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

A reader named Emory proposes that we add a new meme to the cultural lexicon: interpersonal intellectual orgasm. Here's how he describes it: "It happens when your conversation with another person becomes so intense that nothing else matters except the dialog you're creating together. The two of you are so in-tune, so intellectually bonded, that the sensation is almost like making love. For that time, it's like that person is in you and you are in that person; you are one because you understand each other so completely." I bring this to your attention, Libra, because you're in a phase of your astrological cycle when the interpersonal intellectual orgasm is far more likely than usual to occur.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

LISTEN TO AN EXPANDED HOROSCOPE

Since I put all my heart and soul into the written horoscopes I send out in this newsletter, they're pretty nutritious. You may never need any of the other stuff I create.

But if you ever do crave an added boost, you may want to sample my Expanded Audio Horoscopes. They're different in tone and intent than the written scopes, imbued with a little more of the psychologist in me, and a little less of the poet.

Find out more at RealAstrology.com.

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

"Your expanded horoscopes get more personal and intimate with me than some of my closest friends. Thanks for the loving reflections."
- Ari S., Ann Arbor, MI

"Your audio 'scopes have a knack for waking me up from whatever random dream has sneaked into my brain and rendered me half-blind."
- Teresa F., Boston, MA

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

Unlike people who cheat on their mates, polyamorists carry on two or more intimate relationships but don't lie about it. Their lovers know about each other and have agreed to the arrangement. I applaud those who have the inclination to pull off this tricky work, even though I personally couldn't manage it. Handling just a single intense bond takes improbable amounts of my ingenuity. If I were trying to weave my fate together with more than one partner, I wouldn't have any energy left over to write these horoscopes or do anything else. How about you, Scorpio? You're in a phase when splitting your attention might be tempting, not just in regards to your love life but in other areas, too. Whether that's the right thing to do, I can't say. Here's what I do know: You can either go deeper or wider, but not both.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

"Never bear more than one trouble at a time," wrote author and clergyman Edward Everett Hale. "Some people bear three kinds -- all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have." That's good advice for you, Sagittarius. Please just stick to the trouble you have, and drop the other two kinds. There's no need to fill up your beautiful head with extra torment. Besides, you're much more likely to wrestle the current trouble into submission if you're not weighted down by unnecessary extras.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

What excites you? What makes you itch with a longing to be surprised? What fills you to the brim with curiosity and an agitated sense of wonder? You may not know even half of what you could potentially realize about these matters. Have you ever sat down and taken a formal inventory? Have you ever dedicated yourself to figuring out all the things that would inspire you most? Do it sometime soon, please; attend to this glorious task. According to my reading of the omens, it's prime time to do so.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

It's a good thing Margaret Mitchell suffered a broken ankle back in 1925. She got so bored as she lay around the house recuperating that she started writing a book. Eventually it blossomed into the 423,000-word blockbuster Gone with the Wind, which sold 30 million copies and won her the Pulitzer Prize. Judging from your current astrological omens, Aquarius, I suspect that you too may soon be offered an opportunity disguised as a ho-hum problem.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

I was pleased when I discovered a website with a video of quirky songstress Cat Power singing David Bowie's iconic song "Space Oddity." I love her, I love Bowie, and I love the tune. And yet a wave of disappointment broke over me when I realized, 30 seconds into the performance, that it was actually a car commercial. I felt duped. Appalled. Outraged. Any pleasure I'd gotten from the experience was ruined. Don't be like me, Pisces. You, too, may soon receive a blessing that has some minor annoyance. Don't overreact like me. Look past the blemish and enjoy the gift.

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

"In a recipe for salsa published recently, one of the ingredients was misstated, due to an error," said an apology run by a local newspaper. "The correct ingredient is '2 tsp. of cilantro' instead of '2 tsp. of cement.'" This is an example of the kind of miscue you should be alert for in your own life during the coming week, Aries. As long as you pay close attention and spot the tiny booboos as they arise, you won't end up dipping your chips into a gritty, gravely mess.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

HOMEWORK:

Practicing unconditional love is the toughest, most heroic task of all. Here's my attempt to get better at it: bit.ly/WorldKiss. Tell me about your attempts at Truthrooster@gmail.com.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?

I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In our many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had a major influence on each other's work.

Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a high degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is skilled at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing your connection with your own inner wisdom.

Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.

Ro's website is at YourSoulJourney.com

She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Submissions sent to the Free Will Astrology Weekly Newsletter or in response to "homework assignments" may be published in a variety of formats at Rob Brezsny's discretion, including but not limited to newsletters, books, the Free Will Astrology column, and Free Will Astrology website. We reserve the right to edit such submissions for length, style, and content. Requests for anonymity will be honored with submissions; otherwise, reader names, screen names, or initials will be used. Please be sure to note your preference when sending to us. We are not responsible for unsolicited submission of any creative material.

Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright 2010 Rob Brezsny

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++