Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
MARCH 18, 2009
FreeWillAstrology.com
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"Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but
not every man's greed."
- Mahatma Gandhi
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DISCLAIMER: Material in this newsletter or in the book PRONOIA
IS THE ANTITDOTE FOR PARANOIA may be too intense and controversial
for some readers. It contains graphic scenes of peace, love, joy,
passion, reverence, splendor, and understanding. You will not
find any references to harsh, buzzing fluorescent lights in a
cheap hotel room where a heroin dealer plots to get revenge against
the teachers at his old high school by releasing a wild boar into
the teachers' lounge.
There are no reports of Nazi skinheads obsessed with recreating
the 14th-century Tartars' war strategy of catapulting plague-ridden
corpses into an enemy's citadel. Completely absent from these
pages are any stories about a psychotic CEO of a Fortune 500 company
who has intentionally disfigured his face to help him elude the
CIA, which wants to arrest him for the treasonous sale of his
company's nanotech technology to the Chinese.
You should therefore proceed with caution if you are a jaded
hipster who is suspicious of feeling healthy and happy. Ask yourself:
"Am I ready to stop equating cynicism with insight? Do I
dare take the risk that exposing myself to uplifting entertainment
might dull my intelligence?" If you doubt your ability to
handle relaxing breakthroughs, you might want to stop reading
now.
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
FREE BEAUTY FOR THE HUNGRY PRONOAIC
The 10 Most Amazing Things the Sky Can Do
tinyurl.com/5cp6gn
I DARE YOU TO THINK BIG
Saltwater Crops May Be Key to Solving Earth's Land Crunch
tinyurl.com/65jo5s
I DARE YOU TO BE OPTIMISTIC
Things are still getting better
tinyurl.com/ajsr26
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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To buy my book,
PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings
go here: tinyurl.com/qaj62
or here: tinyurl.com/3dsx6q
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning March 19
Copyright 2009 by Rob Brezsny
FreeWillAstrology.com
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
The 1906 earthquake that hit San Francisco also demolished downtown
Santa Rosa, about 50 miles to the north. During the rebuilding
process, Frank Doyle, a local businessman who referred to himself
as a "champion of the future," pushed a radical agenda.
"When we construct our new downtown thoroughfare," he
said, "let's make it wider than it has been in the past.
That way it will accommodate the promising technological innovation
called the automobile." Draw inspiration from Doyle's prescience,
Aries. As you regenerate and rejuvenate your world, do the equivalent
of creating wider roads. Be a champion of the future. [Thanks
to Daniel Osmer's piece in the Fall 2008 issue of Lilipoh
magazine for the info.]
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
Among medieval alchemists, there were some who tried to make
a fortune by literally converting lead into gold. But the authentic
practitioners of the art were interested in a subtler kind of
experimentation: ripening and beautifying the shadowy aspects
of their own psyches. That explains their motto: "For a tree's
branches to reach to heaven, its roots must reach to hell."
Among other things, that means you have to dig deep and work hard
on redeeming your less flattering qualities in order to earn the
right to exalted states of consciousness and spiritual powers.
The coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to carry out
this alchemy.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
Entomologist Justin O. Schmidt drew up an index to categorize
the discomfort caused by stinging insects. The attack of the bald-faced
hornet is "rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting
your hand mashed in a revolving door." A paper wasp delivers
pain that's "caustic and burning," with a "distinctly
bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid
on a paper cut." The sweat bee, on the other hand, can hurt
you in a way that's "light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny
spark has singed a single hair on your arm." In bringing
this to your attention, Gemini, I hope to inspire the rebel in
you. Your homework is to create an equally nuanced and precise
index of experiences that feel good. According to my reading of
the astrological omens, you will be able to call on tremendous
reserves of intelligence as you identify the numerous modes of
pleasure that are available to you, and define them in exquisite
detail.
CANCER (June 21-July 22):
A famous Youtube video shows a small crab perched on top of a
giant jellyfish that's swimming in the ocean. (It's here: tinyurl.com/6ulpoe.)
Apparently this is a common phenomenon. The species known as the
graceful rock crab not only grabs free rides on jellyfish, but
also steals food from them as it does. This creature is your role
model, Cancerian. See if you can develop a safe and symbiotic
relationship (perhaps temporarily) with a big stinging blob. At
the very least, wangle some benefit out of a clueless behemoth.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):
"One of the healthiest ways to gamble is with a spade and
a package of garden seeds," says comedian?Dan Bennett. Your
assignment, Leo, is to come up with three other smart risks you
could profit from taking. You're entering a phase of your astrological
cycle when you'll be rewarded by leaving your comfort zone and
heading toward the frontier -- but only if you're fully armed
with crafty discernment and a realistic (not cynical) understanding
of how the world really works. Please stay away from rash dares,
unresearched shots in the dark, and crazy plunges rooted in blind
faith.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
Years ago a Polish scientist toiling in Antarctica was consumed
with longing for a woman he'd left behind in his home country.
Spilling over with the desire to express his adoration, he gathered
a mass of penguin dung and used it to spell out a large "M"
on the frigid ground. It was the first letter of his girlfriend's
name, Magda. To this day, two species of flowering plants have
thrived in that M-shaped area, fed by the fertilizing power of
the dung. Your assignment in the coming week, Virgo, is to create
something equally enduring and unique for someone you care for
deeply.
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LISTEN TO AN EXPANDED HOROSCOPE
In addition to the horoscopes that you're reading here, I create
more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. Find out
more at RealAstrology.com.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888
or 1-900-950-7700.
"The best part about your audio horoscopes is that they
pat me on the head and kick me in the ass at the same time."
- Rita L., San Diego
"Your audio oracles go beyond helping me find the truth
-- they inspire me to find the WILD truth."
- Patrick K., Montreal
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
If you find yourself driving on a major highway anytime soon,
there's a better-than-usual chance that you'll come upon a place
where a truck has accidentally spilled a few tons of french fries
or thousands of bottles of beer or a huge load of sex toys. Why
do I say this? Because according to my analysis of the astrological
omens, you will be exposed to an abundance of some resource that
is too much to use all at once or is not really yours to take
or is not exactly what you need. A highway spill is just one form
this could take. What should you? Don't get distracted by frustration
or confusion. Instead, use it as a provocative motivation to go
get the precise stuff you need in the right amount.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
After extensive analysis, I've concluded that you won't serve
any time in hell for the shock therapy you'll unleash this week
-- with one caveat: The shock therapy must be motivated primarily
by love, not a lust for power. My research also suggests that
in dropping your bombshells you may even rack up some karmic credit,
not karmic debt -- if the things you destroy are truly
beyond repair and certain to keep causing pain, and if
you institute a plan for building a shiny new creation to replace
what's lost.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
"Though the seas threaten, they are merciful," says
Ferdinand, a character in Shakespeare's play The Tempest.
"I have cursed them without cause." Please consider
the possibility that you could honestly make a similar declaration
about some influence in your world. What's wild but mostly beneficent?
What's primal in a way that draws you back to your deepest sources
and reminds you what's really important?
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
Study the following terms: refuge, sanctuary, bunker, asylum,
fortress, haven, shelter, safety zone, storm cellar, hideaway,
retreat, halfway house, cloister, cell, ashram, clubhouse, lair,
foxhole, nest, pit, inner sanctum. Now use some of those words
to formulate descriptions of actions you'll take to enhance both
your freedom and security. Example: "When I'm longing for
privacy and renewal, I'll retreat to a haven, not a bunker."
Another example: "If I need to seek refuge from the unnameable
insanity around me, I'll make a pilgrimage to a sanctuary, not
to a foxhole."
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
No one really knows when the Piscean Age ends and the Aquarian
Age begins. Astrologers have been arguing about the issue for
years. But here's what to watch for: When the transition gets
underway, fewer and fewer people will be invested in belief systems,
and an ever-growing contingent will thrive on asking questions
and keeping an open mind. For those of us in the latter category
-- the Aquarian Agers -- we will prize the virtues of curiosity.
We will avoid being addicted to dogmatic theories and rigid certainties,
knowing that they tend to shut down our fluid intelligence. We
will get a kick out of shedding our own emotional biases so that
we can strive to be more objective in our understanding of the
ever-evolving truth. I mention this, Aquarius, because it is an
excellent time for you to charge headlong toward the Aquarian
Age.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
Some of the best-selling Japanese novels in recent years have
been composed by young authors entirely on their cell phones.
The small screens encourage narratives that are animated by terse
rhythms. Flowery descriptions are rare and character development
happens fast. I believe that in the coming weeks you will have
a capacity akin to the cell-phone storytellers, Pisces. You'll
be able to compress complex material into simpler forms; you'll
have a knack for being very creative as you cut away frills and
strip things down to their basics.
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HOMEWORK:
Talk about how your political opinions reflect and affect your
spiritual values. Share by going to FreeWillAstrology.com
and clicking on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological
colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In
our many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had
a major influence on each other's work.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained
intuition, emotional warmth, and
a high
degree of technical proficiency
in horoscope interpretation; she
is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your
life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner
wisdom.
Ro is based in California, but
can do phone consultations and
otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic
boundaries.
Ro's website is at YourSoulJourney.com
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2009 Rob Brezsny
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