Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter July 30, 2008

Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
JULY 30, 2008
FreeWillAstrology.com

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"The unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwelling on himself and start paying attention to the universe. Unhappiness is the ultimate form of self-indulgence. When you're unhappy, you get to pay a lot of attention to yourself. You get to take yourself oh so very seriously."
- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume

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My book
PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings
is available for sale at
tinyurl.com/qaj62

Here's an excerpt:

UNABASHED PRONOIA THERAPY, Part Two

10. Become a rapturist, which is the opposite of a terrorist: Conspire to unleash blessings on unsuspecting recipients, causing them to feel good.

Before bringing your work as a rapturist to strangers, practice with two close companions. Offer them each a gift that fires up their ambitions. It should not be a practical necessity or consumer fetish, but rather a provocative tool or toy. Give them an imaginative boon they've been hesitant to ask for, a beautiful thing that expands their self-image, a surprising intervention that says, "I love the way you move me."

11. "There are two ways for a person to look for adventure," said the Lone Ranger, a TV character. "By tearing everything down, or building everything up." Give an example of each from your own life.

12. To many people, "sacrifice" is a demoralizing word that connotes deprivation. Is that how you feel? Do you make sacrifices because you're forced to, or maybe because your generosity prompts you to incur a loss in order to further a good cause?

Originally, "sacrifice" had a different meaning: to give up something valuable in order that something even more valuable might be obtained. Carry out an action that embodies this definition. For instance, sacrifice a mediocre pleasure so as to free yourself to pursue a more exalted pleasure.

13. Are other people luckier than you? If so, psychologist Richard Wiseman says you can do something about it. His book The Luck Factor presents research that proves you can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, he says, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities.

Name three specific actions you'd like to try in order to improve your luck.

14. Conjure up an imaginary friend and have an intimate conversation with him and her for at least 10 minutes. Bear in mind that this talk can be a rational creative act, not an excursion into lunacy. Composer Robert Schuman had long dialogues with his imaginary friends, Florestan and Eusebius, who provided valuable ideas for his musical scores. W.S. Merwyn wrote a poem in which he recounted the surprising counsel of his teacher John Berryman: "He suggested I pray to the Muse/ get down on my knees and pray/ right there in the corner and he/ said he meant it literally."

15. Some scholars believe the original Garden of Eden was where Iraq stands today. Though remnants of that ancient paradise survived into modern times, many were obliterated during the American war on Iraq in 2003. A Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher who lives near the confluence of the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers kept us posted on the fate of the most famous remnant: the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Until the invasion, it was a gnarled stump near Nasiriyah. But today it's gone; only a crater remains.

Let this serve as an evocative symbol for you as you demolish your old ideas about paradise, freeing you up to conjure a fresh vision of your ideal realm.

16. The primary meaning of the word "healing" is "to cure what's diseased or broken." Medical practitioners focus on sick people. Psychotherapists wrestle with their clients' traumas and neuroses. Philanthropists donate their money and social workers contribute their time to helping the underprivileged. I am in awe of them all. The level of one's spiritual enlightenment, I believe, is more accurately measured by helping people in need than by meditation skills, shamanic shapeshifting, supernatural powers, or religious knowledge.

But I also believe in a second kind of healing that is largely unrecognized: to supercharge what is already healthy; to lift up what's merely sufficient to a sublime state. Using this definition, describe two acts of healing: one you would enjoy performing on yourself and another you'd like to provide for someone you love.

17. Is the world a dangerous, chaotic place with no inherent purpose, running on automatic like a malfunctioning machine and fundamentally inimical to your happiness? Or are you surrounded by helpers in a friendly universe that gives you challenges in order to make you smarter and wilder and kinder? Trick questions! The answers may depend, at least to some degree, on what you believe is true.

Formulate a series of experiments that will allow you to objectively test the hypothesis that the universe is conspiring to help you.

18. Those who explore pronoia often find they have a growing capacity to help people laugh at themselves. While few arbiters of morality recognize this skill as a mark of high character, I put it near the top of my list. In my view, inducing people to take themselves less seriously is a supreme virtue. Do you have any interest in cultivating it? How might you go about it?

19. "God offers to every mind its choice between truth and repose," wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson. "Take which you please; you can never have both." Give an example from your own life that refutes or proves Emerson's assertion.

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To read news and features from my book, go here: tinyurl.com/lhwx2

You can buy the book here:

AMAZON
tinyurl.com/qaj62

POWELLS
tinyurl.com/3dsx6q

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OTHER PRONOIA RESOURCES:

PRONOIA NEEDS YOU TO BE CREATIVE
Stimulate Your Creativity
tinyurl.com/44vb6s

PRONOIA NEEDS YOU TO MEDITATE
Mini-Meditations For People Who Don't Have Time To Meditate
tinyurl.com/6aokjl

PRONOIA NEEDS YOU TO WAKE UP
"Is the Universe Waking Up?"
tinyurl.com/46tvjb

(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements, and I get no kickbacks.)

Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning July 31

Copyright 2008 by Rob Brezsny
FreeWillAstrology.com

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

I would love to see you walking down the street dressed in a feathered headdress and white boots and leopard-print cashmere pants, plus maybe some scarlet velvet gloves and a silk t-shirt that says, "You don't scare me." To present yourself in such a bold and forthright manner would be in perfect alignment with your astrological omens. If that particular form of expression doesn't feel right to you, please find an equivalent that does.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

Could you get access to a crane with a wrecking ball? How about a chainsaw or sledgehammer? Metaphorically speaking, you may need some heavy equipment to do all the demolition work that's necessary right now. Among the structures that could be due for destruction: a mental block you've been preserving out of perverse nostalgia; a prison cell you lock yourself inside on your off days; a half-built bridge you're no longer interested in or capable of completing; a pedestal on which your fallen idol used to stand; and a door you nailed shut in order to seal yourself off from a person with whom you still have unfinished business.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

This is your best chance in a long time to meet people you've always wanted to meet. It's also a favorable time to turn pretty good connections into excellent collaborations, and to adjust your role in your web of alliances so it's closer to where you want it to be. None of these fine developments in your social life will magically unfold on their own, however. You can't just sit back passively and hope that cosmic forces will somehow make them happen. So formulate your intentions crisply and act aggressively to manifest them.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

Don't just shamble down to the pizzeria and gobble a slab of greasy cheese, tomato sauce, and dough. Instead, arrange for an interesting person who likes you to home-deliver a pizza lovingly prepared by a gourmet chef. For that matter, Scorpio, don't tolerate mediocrity or the lowest common denominator in any area of your life. The Season of the Peak Experience is here -- a time when you have a sacred duty to give your best, commune with the highest, and ask for excellence.

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LISTEN TO AN EXPANDED HOROSCOPE

In addition to the horoscopes that you read here, I create additional in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration.

They're not repeats or elaborations of the stuff you find here, but entirely fresh explorations of your astrological omens, designed to help you tune in to your soul's code.

Try them at RealAstrology.com.

They're available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

They're $6 if you access them on the Web, or $1.99 per minute over the phone.

"Your audio horoscopes help me love myself better, and I mean that in a non-narcissistic way."
- Deva P., Indianapolis

"I'm really grateful for the way you pick up my telepathic requests and answer them in your expanded audio 'scopes."
- Marion H., Birmingham, AL

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

I don't recommend that you go on a spiritual retreat at the Zen monastery near Mount Kumgang in North Korea. As exquisite as the place is, the repressive government's secret police are suspicious of tourists and would probably make your trip miserable. Likewise, don't take a vacation on the gorgeous beaches of eastern Somalia. Pirates prowl the coastal areas of that lawless land, and anyone can buy a hand grenade for $10 at the outdoor markets in nearby Mogadishu. No, Sagittarius, while it is an excellent time to leave your familiar haunts and expose yourself to exotic scenes, you should be acutely discerning about where you go. In my opinion, you need a sanctuary that simultaneously surprises you and deepens your sense of being at home in the world.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

"You have to love life when you're in really deep trouble," said poet Robin Blaser. So what about if, on the other hand, you're in only shallow trouble? Do you have a mandate to just sort of like life a little more? Or can you, with a little work, exploit the mild disturbance that the shallow trouble provides in order to dramatically pump up your adoration of life? I hope that your actions in the coming week, Capricorn, will be a big "yes" in response to that question. I'm happy to tell you that you can wangle a big boost from a small inconvenience.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

Some bars are now charging fines to people who drunkenly puke on their floors. I advise you to stay out of such places in the coming week. Better yet, don't get so wasted that you hurl anywhere. It's one of those rare periods when every little sin will be quickly punished, when every excess will provoke an equal and opposite reaction. On the other hand, this is also a time when even minor eruptions of virtue will be immediately rewarded, when every brave act and self-disciplined shift will bring you an opportunity.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

Two friends of mine, a couple engaged to be wed, rode their bicycles for days up the Northern California coast from San Francisco to Oregon. They saw many other riders pedaling from north to south during their trip, but they rarely encountered anyone heading in the same direction they were. Why? The wind was blowing against them the entire way. When they stopped to rest they would sometimes meet and talk with bicyclists whose destination was San Francisco. "Why are you riding against the wind?" the other travelers inevitably wanted to know. My friends enjoyed replying, "We're building our characters so we'll be strong enough to stay in love after we're married." They're your role models for the coming weeks, Pisces. Do some against-the-wind work to prepare yourself for your next big assignment, which is to make your intimate relationships more interesting and invigorating and enduring.

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LISTEN TO AN EXPANDED HOROSCOPE

In addition to the horoscopes that you're reading here, I create more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. Find out more at RealAstrology.com.

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

"The best part about your audio horoscopes is that they pat me on the head and kick me in the ass at the same time."
- Rita L., San Diego

"Your audio oracles go beyond helping me find the truth -- they inspire me to find the WILD truth."
- Patrick K., Montreal

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ARIES (March 21-April 19):

Work can be hazardous for the actors who portray cartoon and fairy tale characters at Disney theme parks. The U.S. Health and Safety Administration reports that one-third of them have suffered on-the-job injuries. A prime cause of the mayhem: kids who kick and punch, sometimes out of misplaced exuberance and other times out of Lord-of-the-Flies-style malice. I wanted to preface my advice to you with that story, Aries. Your assignment this week is to summon the angelic 85 percent of your inner child to come out and play. As for the other 15 percent -- the part of your inner child that might be inclined to pummel Mickey Mouse or headbutt Cinderella: Keep that rascal under wraps.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

Sometimes hope is an irrelevant waste of time, even a stupid self-indulgence. Let's say, for instance, that I'm really hoping that a certain disagreeable person I've got to communicate with won't answer when I call on the phone. That way I can simply leave a message on his voice mail and avoid an unpleasant exchange. But it doesn't matter what I hope. The guy will either answer or not, regardless of what I want. But there is another kind of hope that's invigorating and transformative. Let's say I have a hope that we humans will reverse the environmental catastrophes we're perpetrating. Let's say that my hope motivates me to live more sustainably and to inspire others to live more sustainably. Then my hope is a catalyst. Meditate on these things, Taurus. It's a perfect time for you to get very clear about the two kinds of hope.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

The Futurist magazine predicts that by 2025, there'll be a billion millionaires in the world. I hope you will be one of them. If you do end up in that fortunate position, it may well be because of the smart, aggressive actions you initiate in the next four months. Cosmic tendencies are in place for you to ensure your prosperity well into the future; now all you have to do is understand and capitalize on those tendencies. Here's a good place to start: Spend some quality time taking inventory of your financial life and brainstorming about a 17-year plan to make you a millionaire.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

The world record for attaching clothespins to one's face is 153. Even if you're tempted to surpass that mark, I beg you not to. Inflicting pain on yourself in order to impress someone or prove a point is never a good idea, but it's an especially misguided notion right now. I wouldn't object, however, if you did the opposite, which is to barrage yourself with pleasure in order to impress someone or prove a point. In my astrological opinion, it's a perfect time to intensify your commitment to making yourself feel good. This is true for many reasons, but here's one of the most important ones: It will have a magically tonic effect on your relationships with others.

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HOMEWORK:

I dare you to bestow three blessings you've never even dreamed of bestowing. Report results to me. Go to FreeWillAstrology.com and click on "Email Rob."

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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?

I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In our many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had a major influence on each other's work.

Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a high degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is skilled at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing your connection with your own inner wisdom.

Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.

Ro's website is at YourSoulJourney.com

She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net

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Submissions sent to the Free Will Astrology Weekly Newsletter or in response to "homework assignments" may be published in a variety of formats at Rob Brezsny's discretion, including but not limited to newsletters, books, the Free Will Astrology column, and Free Will Astrology website. We reserve the right to edit such submissions for length, style, and content. Requests for anonymity will be honored with submissions; otherwise, reader names, screen names, or initials will be used. Please be sure to note your preference when sending to us. We are not responsible for unsolicited submission of any creative material.

Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright 2008 Rob Brezsny

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