Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter June 11, 2008

Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
JUNE 11, 2008
FreeWillAstrology.com

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"The Hindu teacher Swami Muktananda was once asked why he didn't work miracles. He replied, 'I have no need to work miracles. The circulation of blood through my body is enough.'"
- Wes Nisker, The Essential Crazy Wisdom

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My book
PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings
is available for sale at
tinyurl.com/qaj62

Here's an excerpt:

Welcome to the PRONOIA NEWS NETWORK. Here's the news.

The world has become dramatically more peaceful since 1992, according to the non-partisan Human Security Report. Wars, coup d'etats, and acts of genocide have declined by 40 percent. Weapons sales have dropped 33 percent during the same time, and the number of refugees has decreased by 45 percent.

The cause of these developments is the unprecedented upsurge of international activism since the end of the Cold War, spearheaded by the United Nations.

Elsewhere, life extension researchers now believe that there is no absolute limit to the human life span. The average life expectancy is 30 years more than it was a century ago, and is steadily climbing.

Literacy and education levels are rising steadily all over the globe. Since 1970, the percentage of students going to secondary school has more than doubled.

The World Health Organization reports that in the next 24 hours, 200 million people will make love on this planet, as they do every day of every year. Experts estimate that the orgasmic energy generated during a single rotation of the planet could, if harnessed, provide enough power to light a medium-sized city for a month.

Briefly, here's a look at the rest of the top stories.

Accelerating rates of intermarriage are helping to dissipate ethnic and religious strife worldwide.

Acreage devoted to organic farming is rapidly increasing.

Death rates from cancer are shrinking.

Child abduction by strangers has dropped precipitously.

In 60 years, there hasn't been a lower birth rate among teenage girls than there is now.

The number of America's black elected officials has sextupled since 1970.

In recent years, the rivers and bays of New York City have been almost completely cleansed of raw sewage and industrial pollution.

Vast supplies of frozen natural gas lie beneath the oceans, harboring more potential energy for human use than all of the world's oil reserves, and could be mined with the right technology.

If forced to decide between having a bigger penis and living in a world where there was no war, 90 percent of all men would pick universal peace.

You have at least a million relatives as close as tenth cousin, and no one on Earth is any farther removed than your 50th cousin.

The world's largest private bank, Citigroup, has agreed to stop financing projects that damage sensitive ecosystems.

The giant timber company, Congolaise Industrielle des Bois, voluntarily agreed to stop cutting down trees in a virgin rain forest in the Congo.

Every second the sun generously transforms four million tons of itself into energy and bestows it on us free of charge.

With every dawn, when first light penetrates the sea, many seahorse colonies perform a dance to the sun.

Most HMO executives now believe prayer and meditation can expedite the healing process.

Each of the 50 trillion cells in your body can be considered a sentient being in its own right, and they all act together as a community, performing an ongoing act of prodigious collaboration.

A survey of a thousand poets suggests that the five most beautiful words in the English language are "epiphany," "undulates," "luminous," "crucible," and "melody."

Finally in the news, biologists have proved that with each breath, you take into your body 10 sextillion atoms, and - owing to the wind's ceaseless circulation - over a year's time you have intimate relations with oxygen molecules that have been exhaled by everyone who has ever lived, including Joan of Arc, Gengis Khan, Cleopatra, and Malcolm X.

You have been tuned to PNN, the Pronoia News Network. Our report has been brought to you by the state of mind that the poet John Keats enjoyed when he said, "If something is not beautiful, it is probably not true."

For 1,109 more items of good news, read the book.

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To read news and features from my book, go here: tinyurl.com/lhwx2

You can buy the book here:

AMAZON
tinyurl.com/qaj62

POWELLS
tinyurl.com/3dsx6q

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OTHER PRONOIA RESOURCES:

THE SCIENCE AND ART OF FEELING GOOD
8 Ways to be Happy Right Now
tinyurl.com/4c5yzs

DON'T JUST MOURN, GET TO WORK!
"The Top Ten Solutions to the World's Biggest Problems" by Ronald Bailey
tinyurl.com/55c527
tinyurl.com/5oz29a

COMPASSIONATELY OVERTHROW THE STATUS QUO
"The New Activism"
tinyurl.com/6jg72z
"Activism used to be all about what was wrong. Now, from executive suites to department stores, 'new activists' are showing us how to get things right."

(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements, and I get no kickbacks.)

Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning June 12

Copyright 2008 by Rob Brezsny
FreeWillAstrology.com

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

"The best time for me is when I don't have any problems that I can't buy my way out of," said Andy Warhol. If that formulation is true, you're going to have a light warm breeze of a week, Gemini -- a time so smooth and easy and free you may wonder if the gods made a mistake and bestowed the sublime karma of some beatific saint on you. Here's my prediction: The only problems you'll have will be those you can buy your way out of. And they won't even be very expensive.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

In the film War Games, a hacker taps in to a remote mainframe and begins to play a game he finds there. As it turns out, the mainframe is an artificially intelligent supercomputer that serves as hub of operations for the U.S. Air Force, and the game has real-world consequences. The hacker inadvertently triggers a cascade of events that could launch an actual global conflagration. After many scary plot turns, the danger of disaster dissipates when the supercomputer makes a momentous decision: The only way to win the game is to not play it. That approach could work well for you, my fellow Crab. The game you're playing is nowhere near as dangerous as the one in War Games, of course, but why not play to win?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

ButlersGuild.com named Mr. Ravi Shankar as its Butler of the Year. Serving as Head Butler of the Qasr Al Sharq hotel in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, Shankar "always acts with complete integrity in everything he does." Your simple yet arduous assignment, Leo, is to be worthy of that same description. Are you up to the challenge? Can you be morally and ethically impeccable, between now and noon on June 18, in every single thing you do and say and think? Do you have the willpower to be absolutely free of hypocrisies, deceits, and manipulations? Can you refrain from speaking derisive or careless words about anyone, while at the same time being rigorously authentic and intent on telling the deepest truths?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

"The job of the newspaper is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable," said journalist Finley Peter Dunne. In that spirit, Virgo, here are your assignments for the coming week: 1. Critique and question and agitate the parts of yourself that are complacent or addicted to convenience. 2. Give help, sympathy, and encouragement to the parts of yourself that are off-center or out-of-focus. 3. Shake up the static, habit-entranced situations you see around you. 4. Be generous and creative with those who are suffering.

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LISTEN TO AN EXPANDED HOROSCOPE

In addition to the horoscopes that come to you in this newsletter, I create more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. I think of them as my love letters to you. They're $6 if you access them on the Web, or $1.99 per minute over the phone.

Try them at RealAstrology.com.

They're available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

"Your audio horoscopes help me love myself better, and I mean that in a non-narcissistic way."
- Deva P., Indianapolis

"I'm really grateful for the way you pick up my telepathic requests and answer them in your expanded audio 'scopes."
- Marion H., Birmingham, AL

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

"I've been all over the world and have lived among every kind of culture," wrote Dan Liebert on mcsweeneys.net, "and I can say, without any hesitation, that the most ignorant, rude, selfish, and self-centered people on Earth are babies." I agree with him, though I've got to add that it's senseless to get mad at babies for being such jerks. Their brains simply aren't sufficiently well-developed to be any different. This line of thought can be applied to a whole range of bad behavior by people who have technically reached adulthood: They engage in ill-advised actions not out of evil intent but because they're emotionally immature. Keep that in mind as you deal with anyone who's doing unreasonable things. Be the composed adult who's in charge of leading the big babies.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

Danny Anderson was out feeding his horses in Prosser, Washington when a rattlesnake slithered into the barn. Anderson took a shovel and decapitated it. The dangerous creature was neutralized, right? Not quite. When Anderson reached down to pick up the severed head a few minutes later, it pulled off a nightmarish move seen only in horror films: It came back to life just long enough to bite him. Luckily, Anderson was fine after a trip to the hospital to receive anti-venom treatment. The metaphorical moral of the story, as far as you Scorpios are concerned: When your brave efforts finally eliminate a threat, don't let down your guard or get overconfident. Be absolutely positively sure that it's really gone.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

You really have no right to tear yourself down. Badmouthing yourself is a first-degree sin, and so is being mean to yourself or depriving yourself of the care you need to thrive. This is always true, of course, but in the coming week it's more crucial than ever that you refrain from even the subtlest forms of self-abuse. To be anything less than an imaginative lover and nurturer toward yourself could upset the cosmic equilibrium so profoundly that everyone else would suffer, too. Therefore, you owe it to the rest of us to shower yourself with blessings.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

Pumice, which is created by volcanic eruptions, is filled with holes, which means that it's sometimes light enough to glide on the surface of a body of water. I urge you to use this floatable rock as a metaphor. Think of the heaviest burden you're carrying -- an apparently insoluble problem, a thankless responsibility, a task that seems impossible -- and imagine over the next few days that it is changing into a hunk of pumice. When the transformation is complete, visualize yourself throwing it into a fast-flowing river, and then watch as it gets carried away, ultimately turning into a tiny, bobbing speck that disappears over the horizon.

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LISTEN TO AN EXPANDED HOROSCOPE

In addition to the horoscopes that you're reading here, I create more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. Find out more at RealAstrology.com.

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

"The best part about your audio horoscopes is that they pat me on the head and kick me in the ass at the same time."
- Rita L., San Diego

"Your audio oracles go beyond helping me find the truth -- they inspire me to find the WILD truth."
- Patrick K., Montreal

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

In his song "Bird on a Wire," Leonard Cohen says, "Like a bird on a wire / Like a drunk in a midnight choir / I have tried in my way to be free." Your assignment, Aquarius, is to wail, moan, or croon your own personal version of that song. Here's how I suggest you proceed. First, identify specific actions you've taken to advance your quest for liberation. Include even the modest accomplishments and goofball attempts. Second, imagine the strategies you'll pursue in the future to get more leeway and latitude for yourself. You might want to start by purging your mind of beliefs that place unwarranted limitations on you. Now start singing!

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

It's an ideal time to stir up fresh insights about important people whose charms you've grown numb to . . . to mutate your perspectives about situations you've become overly familiar with . . . to come up with revised interpretations for past events about which new information has emerged. To get in the right frame of mind, study these novel definitions of common words, supplied by readers of The Washington Post in response to a contest. Airstrip: to pretend to take off your clothes. Algebra: lingerie worn by mermaids. Blunderbuss: to French-kiss your boss's wife at the office Christmas party. Bumbling: butt cheek piercings. Fulcrum: a supermodel's big meal. Flagellation: beating on your political opponent by questioning his patriotism.

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

"Successful representations of reality become more important than the reality they represent," writes W. Daniel Hillis at The World Question Center (tinyurl.com/ywth3). Examples: paper money supersedes gold; a painting has more value than the landscape it depicts; the status that an achievement brings begins to overshadow the achievement. The coming days are an excellent time for you to contemplate how this phenomenon might be in play in your life, and whether it's causing any distortions you need to correct. Start with this meditation: Is there any way in which you've become so focused on the map that you have neglected the territory?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

While driving in suburbia, I saw a sign in the yard of a home whose grounds were being renovated. It was an ad for the landscaping company that was doing the work. "Mesmerize visitors with your garden," it read. Judging from your astrological omens, Taurus, I think you're in an excellent position to do just that. It's your turn to enthrall and enchant people with your metaphorical "garden," whether that's a gourmet meal you cook, an outing you plan, a set of songs you sing, a report you prepare, or any other fine demonstration of your beauty and talents.

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HOMEWORK:

Where in your life do you push harder than is healthy? Where do you not push hard enough? Go to FreeWillAstrology.com and click on "Email Rob."

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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?

I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In our many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had a major influence on each other's work.

Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a high degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is skilled at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing your connection with your own inner wisdom.

Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.

Ro's website is at YourSoulJourney.com

She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net

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Submissions sent to the Free Will Astrology Weekly Newsletter or in response to "homework assignments" may be published in a variety of formats at Rob Brezsny's discretion, including but not limited to newsletters, books, the Free Will Astrology column, and Free Will Astrology website. We reserve the right to edit such submissions for length, style, and content. Requests for anonymity will be honored with submissions; otherwise, reader names, screen names, or initials will be used. Please be sure to note your preference when sending to us. We are not responsible for unsolicited submission of any creative material.

Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright 2008 Rob Brezsny

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