Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
MAY 7, 2008
FreeWillAstrology.com
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"I used to be an atheist until I realized that I was God."
- Deepak Chopra
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My book
PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings
is available for sale at
tinyurl.com/qaj62
Here's an excerpt:
[For an explanation of why the text below appears in a book about
beauty and truth, go here: tinyurl.com/yqr9am]
HOMEOPATHIC MEDICINE SPELL #2
Banging your head against a wall consumes 150 calories an hour.
Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.
Life is "a meaningless existential hell," say 26 percent
of American male college students.
Most Americans would vote against the Bill of Rights if it were
presented to them in a referendum.
The odds that Elvis Presley will crash-land a UFO on the head
of the Loch Ness monster are 14 million to one, according to a
British betting agency.
Heroin addiction causes constipation.
More than half of the pianos in the world are out of tune.
An underground economy that runs on marijuana, porn, and the
services of illegal immigrants comprises 10 percent of the American
economy.
Lightning strikes about 6,000 times per minute on this planet
and kills more than a thousand people a year.
Sleep deprivation, which has reached epidemic proportions, is
akin to drug abuse in the way that it dramatically lowers competence
levels and causes aberrant behavior.
Queen Ranavalona of Madagascar decreed that if any of her subjects
appeared in her dreams, they would be killed.
Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
Big drug companies don't invest in the development of a new drug
if it's a cure for a relatively rare disease that wouldn't affect
enough people to generate a substantial profit.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
An Alabama court upheld a ban on the sale of vibrators, ruling
that there's no constitutional right to an orgasm.
Mosquitoes have teeth.
The sun's mass decreases by four million tons per second, and
our home star will die a few billion years from now.
Every time an actor portraying a doctor performs a particular
kind of surgery on a popular soap opera, real doctors are sought
out to perform the same surgery at a dramatically higher rate.
You're more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than a poisonous
spider.
Mortuary workers in Zimbabwe rented corpses to drivers who wanted
to take advantage of the priority given to hearses in gas-station
lines. None of Socrates' writings survive.
In Jon Rappoport's book The Secret Behind Secret Societies,
hypnotist Jack True says he rarely practices his craft any more
because most of his clients are already in a light trance when
they come to see him.
What was an hour ten years ago is now only 52 minutes.
Every night, millions of Americans are tormented by nightmares
of the CIA overthrowing the democratically elected governments
of Iran in 1953, Guatemala in 1954, Brazil in 1963, and Chile
in 1973.
Israeli scientists are working to perfect a procedure whereby
they harvest eggs from aborted human fetuses, fertilize them,
and transplant them into the wombs of infertile women, thereby
making the donor fetus an unborn mother.
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To read news and features from my book, go here: tinyurl.com/lhwx2
You can buy the book here:
AMAZON
tinyurl.com/qaj62
POWELLS
tinyurl.com/3dsx6q
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To listen to and get a free download of "In a Crisis,"
a song from my band's CD Give Too Much, go here:
tinyurl.com/6g7n7l
To buy the CD, go here:
tinyurl.com/yqy42p
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OTHER PRONOIA RESOURCES:
YOU ARE GROWING MORE AND MORE INTELLIGENT
"Get Smarter: 12 Hacks That Will Amp Up Your Brainpower"
tinyurl.com/5fskry
TOMORROW IS ALREADY OBSOLETE
The Super-Fast Grid Will Replace the Internet
tinyurl.com/59xql3
BEYOND LUCID DREAMING IS LUCID WAKING
Lucid Waking: Mindfulness and the Spiritual Potential of Humanity
by Georg Feuerstein
"Lucid Waking shows us that it is possible to be so vividly
engaged in life that it will seem as though others are sleepwalking
by comparison."
tinyurl.com/3a6fkp
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal
nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning May 8
Copyright 2008 by Rob Brezsny
FreeWillAstrology.com
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
Alison Covarrubias is a mentor for female entrepreneurs. Her
"Ladies Who Launch" program inspires women to be brave
and brazen as they develop their own businesses. One of Covarrubias's
prime pieces of advice: "If you don't feel like you're going
to throw up, you're not taking enough risks." That's also
my message for you, Taurus. In the name of smart gambles and tricky
success, I dare you to push yourself way out of the comfort zone.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
According to a survey, one out of every ten people says the Internet
makes them feel closer to God. I predict that you will be part
of that group in the coming days, Gemini. But it's not just surfing
the Web that will bring you into more intimate communion with
the Divine Wow. Washing dishes will do it, too, as will buttering
toast, brushing your teeth, and skipping down the street. For
that matter, throwing imaginary rocks at the sky, blowing your
nose on your sleeve, and pretending you're a rock star will put
you into a more fluid alignment with the Primal Root. Pretty much
everything! What if you're an atheist? You're free to ignore the
evidence of Spirit's presence pressing in on you from all sides.
But even if you do that, I bet you'll still enjoy a profoundly
enhanced sense that life is wildly meaningful.
CANCER (June 21-July 22):
According to physicist Paul Steinhardt, "Good science creates
two challenging puzzles for each puzzle it resolves." I propose
that we expand that formula to make it apply to life in general:
Good decision-making about anything at all creates two challenging
puzzles for each puzzle it resolves. That should be your guiding
meditation, Cancerian. You are currently at the height of your
ability to wrestle long-standing dilemmas into more satisfying
configurations. I expect that whenever you capitalize on this
potential, you will conjure up fresh riddles that will energize
you for weeks.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):
Are you fully prepared for your showdown with The Machine? Are
you as confident as you need to be in order to fight for the rights
of soulful beauty? Of course not. None of us is ever perfectly
prepared as we go up against the Big Lies of the mechanical thinkers.
But I do have great faith in your ability to prevail -- especially
if you strengthen yourself with this meditation from the book
Less Than One, by Joseph Brodsky: "The surest defense
against evil is extreme individualism, originality of thinking,
whimsicality -- even if you will, eccentricity . . . Evil is a
sucker for solidarity. It always goes for big numbers, for confident
granite, for ideological purity, for drilled armies and balance
sheets."
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AUDIO LOVE LETTERS
In addition to the horoscopes that come to you in this newsletter,
I create more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration.
I think of them as my love letters to you. They're $6 if you access
them on the Web, or $1.99 per minute over the phone.
Try them at RealAstrology.com.
They're available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.
"Your expanded astrology thingees help me remember who
I really am."
- Gareth N., Toronto
"I never knew it was possible to get my butt kicked and
my head patted at the same time -- until I listened to you, Rob."
- Kristi P., Portland, OR
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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
My songwriter friend Darius has created some fine music, but
he periodically goes through phases when everything he produces
sounds contrived. It's not writer's block he suffers from. During
his bouts with bad composing, he's often teeming with ideas. The
problem is that he gets caught up in a vortex of too much thinking.
He can't stop his mind from tinkering endlessly with every raw
impulse that wells up. Recently he joined the Immersion Composition
Society, an organization that helps "talented basket cases"
and "tortured geniuses" cut through their tendency to
over-analyze and thereby reconnect to their pure inspiration.
One technique: Musicians agree to take on firm deadlines that
compel them to create songs wicked fast. I hope you find the equivalent
assistance for your own field of expression, Virgo. The time is
ripe for you to dissect less and build more.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
"What makes a river so restful to people is that it doesn't
have any doubt," wrote columnist Hal Boyle. "It is sure
to get where it is going, and it doesn't want to go anywhere else."
Your assignment for the rest of 2008, Libra, is to do whatever's
necessary to make yourself fit this description. The next eight
months will provide unprecedented opportunities to turn yourself
into a river flowing toward your destiny with surprisingly sublime
freedom.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
You're not any more narcissistic and egotistical than the rest
of us, but this week happens to be your special time to make amends
for being that way. Therefore, I recommend that you try the following
corrective measures: 1. Every day, do three things motivated by
compassion that are helpful to people you know. 2. For a few minutes
each day, use your imagination to get inside the mind of someone
you care about and see the world through his or her eyes. 3. Every
day, take at least one action that will in some way beautify your
environment, contribute to the well-being of strangers, or help
save the world.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
Traditional astrologers say that Sagittarians are the master
travelers of the zodiac; no other sign roams as far and as wide
as yours. But if that's true, how do you explain William Blake
and Emily Dickenson, two of history's greatest Sagittarian poets?
They barely left their neighborhoods, content to explore a narrow
sampling of the planet's wonders. The answer is that they covered
vast distances in the inner realms, seeking out adventures in
exotic territories of the imagination. I'm thinking their approach
would work really well for you in the coming weeks.
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AUDIO HOROSCOPES
In addition to the horoscopes that you're reading here, I create
more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. Find out
more at RealAstrology.com.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888
or 1-900-950-7700.
"You told me the truth when no one else in my life would."
- Darren H., Minneapolis
"Your wake-up calls keep me from getting stale."
- Arris T., Aspen, CO
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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
It's an excellent time to make yourself more magnetic to blessings.
You might want to experiment, therefore, with good luck charms
or magic invocations -- anything that you imagine might attract
benevolence into your life. How about the potion that is popular
in South Africa right now? It's a concoction cooked up from ground-up
vulture bones. Or maybe the kind of mystic jewelry I saw advertised
in one of the tabloids, a necklace made of meteorite chunks? Both
of those would pale in comparison, however, to the thing I consider
the very best attractor of blessings. It's the sacred metaphorical
talisman that Tom Waits recommends in his song "Get Behind
the Mule": Always keep a diamond in your mind.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
When the spell is broken, Aquarius, you will be able to tap into
resources that you've been cut off from. When the spell is broken,
you will finally notice three big, beautiful secrets that have
been staring you in the face. When the spell is broken, you will
slip down off a clean, lofty perch where it has been hard to relax
and arrive at a low, funky spot where you'll be free to feel things
you haven't felt in a long time. When the spell is broken, it
will be because you have decided to break it.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
"Don't eat any food that's incapable of rotting," says
Michael Pollan in his book In Defense of Food: An Eater's
Manifesto. In other words, highly processed foods with a
long shelf life don't contribute to your optimum vitality. I'd
like to expand this rule to make it an all-purpose guideline for
life. Try out this hypothesis: If you're involved with any person
or situation that never decays, or if there is some part of you
that never decays, that's highly suspicious and may be a problem.
Like growth, rot is a natural phenomenon. Indeed, every advancement
requires or brings the disintegration of whatever it replaces.
You can't grow if you don't rot! The "perfection" of
stasis can be hazardous to your health! So let me ask you, Pisces:
What's due to rot in your world?
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
For many Aries, independence is a virtue that flows in abundance
-- so much so that it's sometimes on the verge of becoming excessive
and turning into a vice. That's why I'm thrilled to inform you
that the mysteries of dependence could be especially intriguing
and useful to you in the coming days. They might also lead, paradoxically,
to a form of interdependence that would in the long run nourish
your independence. So how about it? Without compromising your
free-wheeling spirit, can you blend yourself more thoroughly with
trustworthy souls who care about you?
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HOMEWORK:
Name something you feel like begging for. Then visualize in great
detail that this something is already yours. Report results by
going to FreeWillAstrology.com
and clicking on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological
colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In
our many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had
a major influence on each other's work.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained
intuition, emotional warmth, and
a high
degree of technical proficiency
in horoscope interpretation; she
is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your
life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner
wisdom.
Ro is based in California, but
can do phone consultations and
otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic
boundaries.
Ro's website is at YourSoulJourney.com
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2008 Rob Brezsny
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