Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
APRIL 23, 2008
FreeWillAstrology.com
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"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master
calls a butterfly."
- Chuang Tse
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My book
PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings
is available for sale at
tinyurl.com/qaj62
Here's an excerpt:
AMBIDEXTROUS PRONOIA THERAPY, Part One
Experiments and exercises in becoming a mysteriously truthful,
teasingly healing, fiercely magnanimous Master of Impartial Passion
1. What three ideas do you hate most? Pretend you believe those
ideas devoutly. Write about them as if they were the cornerstones
of your philosophy of life.
2. The Shinto monks of Iso, Japan, have a curious custom. Every
20 years since the year 772, they've dismantled their central
shrine and rebuilt it from scratch. In so doing, they pass down
the knowledge of their sacred construction techniques from generation
to generation. It's also an effective way for the monks to participate
eagerly in the transitoriness of life, rather than merely being
resigned to it. They practice the art of death and rebirth not
just in meditation but through a practical long-term ritual.
Can you think of an analogous custom you might create for your
personal use?
3. There is a disproportionate abundance of evil stepmothers
in traditional fairy tales. Storyteller Michael Meade believes
that's because the stepmother is a symbol of the soul's nemesis,
and everyone has a nemesis. In fact, he says, we all need a nemesis
to keep us honest, to challenge our assumptions and call our bluffs.
With this in mind, brainstorm a short fairy tale in which you're
rearranged during a visit from a stepmother.
4. We're acquainted with a group of Hell's Angels that has a
unique way of honoring the deceased. Once a year the gang throws
a party in the cemetery where their fallen comrades are buried,
pouring beer on and snorting coke off their graves.
Think about developing a similar approach to dealing with the
dead parts of your own life. Don't just cry mournfully over the
dreams and influences that have helped make you what you are.
Dance for them; sing for them; leap into the air and kiss the
sky for them.
5. Oceans are not exactly teeming with life. In fact, they're
mostly barren, and could rightly be called "wet deserts."
Likewise, not all your emotions, even those that come in floods,
are fertile. Some are automatic reactions that have discharged
thousands of times since they were first programmed into you many
years ago. They're mechanical, not organic. They became fixtures
when you were a very different person than you are now. Identify
these.
6.We all have a war going on inside ourselves. What's yours?
Is it a just and fruitful war or a senseless and wasteful war,
or both?
7. Hundreds of years ago, it was seemingly possible to buy forgiveness.
Until Martin Luther came along to spoil the fun, the Catholic
Church used to sell "indulgences," which buyers could
supposedly trade in purgatory for a reduced punishment for their
earthly sins.
The forgiveness freaks at the Beauty and Truth Laboratory have
revived this practice in a mutated form. For the right price,
we're able to guarantee your absolution. To take advantage of
our offer, simply send us a million dollars for each sin you want
to have forgiven.
There's just one condition: You can't pay us with the government's
legal tender. You must make the money—literally. Using crayons,
paints, scissors, glue, collage materials, or other media, create
your own version of large-denomination paper money. Instead of
the images of politicians that typically appear on government
currency, draw pictures of your muses and heroes and friends and
pets. Rather than patriotic clichés and meaningless decorative
frills, add sayings and symbols that make you happy. Be sure to
write a description of the sin you want "indulged" somewhere
on the bill. Send your payment to the Beauty and Truth Laboratory
at P.O. Box 150628, San Rafael, CA 94915.
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My docu-fiction memoir
THE TELEVISIONARY ORACLE
is available for sale at tinyurl.com/2ftyq6
and can be read online at tinyurl.com/3c2j4x
(Scroll down the page to find the link to Chapter 1)
Here's an excerpt:
Your suffering is interesting and important, beauty and truth
fans. No one can take that away from you. But we don't feel sorry
for you. That's not our style, and it wouldn't help you anyway.
Our slogan is, There are only two healers: death and ecstasy.
So as we flirt with healing you, we have to be sure we're always
having fun killing off some worn-out part of you. If our words
seem cruel or self-exalting or unlike what you've come to expect
from healers, don't worry: They still work just as well. Better,
in fact, exactly because we're not boring ourselves in order to
figure out how to pierce your protective coat of narcissism. We
just stay excited about you, and you do the rest.
We're effective healers because we never call ourselves healers.
We don't allow our egos to appropriate and exploit that dangerous
image. If someone accuses us of being healers, we deny it and
claim to be poets or ritualists. Likewise, if someone admires
us for being poets or ritualists, we deny it, professing to be
guerrilla therapists or sacred janitors. We don't really mean
any of it. We're just escaping from all the dangerous images that
would force us to become parodies of ourselves -- that would fool
us into being more passionate about the impression we make on
you than being who we love to be.
We know it has all been said and done before, but the difference
with us is that we're not just out to manipulate you into giving
us your adoration and money. We really love you unconditionally.
Not sentimentally. Not ironically. Not as a joke or a con or with
the disguised hope that you're going to owe us big-time. This
is not a simulation, beauty and truth fans. It's real life.
We may tease, but never for our self-aggrandizement. We may prank,
but never to get one-up on you or to jack ourselves up with fantasies
that we're more spiritual than you. We really do want to be in
your dreams helping you carry the garbage out of your nightmares.
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To listen to and get a free download of "Apathy and Ignorance,"
a song from my band's CD Give Too Much, go here:
tinyurl.com/4xt2ch
To buy the CD, go here:
tinyurl.com/yqy42p
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OTHER PRONOIA RESOURCES:
A STRONG DOSE OF PURE PRONOIAC EVIDENCE
Amazing Grace: The Nine Principles of Living in Natural Magic
by David Wolfe and Nick Good
tinyurl.com/4nbcht
This book is offered by the same company that publishes my books.
My publisher says that David Wolfe is the "second most pronoiac
person in the world" after me.
TOWARDS A NEW SPIRITUALITY IN ART
"The Remodernist Manifesto" by Billy Childish and Charles
Thomson
tinyurl.com/4ltk4z
tinyurl.com/3wbtwl
"We don't need more dull, boring, brainless destruction of
convention . . . We need an art that integrates body and soul
and recognizes enduring and underlying principles which have sustained
wisdom and insight throughout humanity's history."
TOWARDS A NEW SPIRITUALITY IN POETRY
"The Kosmic Karma of an Integral Poet" by Paul Lonely
tinyurl.com/2s4jvj
"Dear postmodern and contemporary artists of the world: You’re
trying too hard. Most of you seem to be dead set on becoming the
next 'mad genius.' And, quite frankly, it’s cliché
. . . It’s high time for a group of integral artists to
transcend the trendiness of self-deconstruction and call for a
global transformation. May I be so bold as to offer a couple new
mantras for the 21st century? Here’s the first: Art for
Spirit’s Sake. Do you like it? If so, I offer the second:
Sanity is the new Crazy. Shadow work, meditation, yoga, contemplation,
prayer, authentic self inquiry. SANITY is the new Crazy."
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal
nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning April 24
Copyright 2008 by Rob Brezsny
FreeWillAstrology.com
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
"The greatest poverty is boredom," said one of my teachers,
Ann Davies. "The greatest hell is not having a goal."
Make those ideas your touchstones as you carry out a twofold assignment.
First, use all your ingenuity to banish any reasons you might
have to feel bored. Second, invoke your craftiest optimism and
wildest discipline as you identify a goal whose pursuit will move
you ever closer to the state the mystics call heaven-on-earth.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
In a study of pop songs, sociologists from the University of
Colorado concluded that love isn't as popular a topic as it used
to be. Bestselling tunes sung by women rarely use words like "care"
and "cherish" anymore, and references to love have declined
precipitously. Meanwhile, male singers ignore love and obsess
on sex far more than they once did, and both genders revel in
pain and selfishness at a higher rate. I tell you this, Gemini,
as a prelude to announcing your assignment, which is to counteract
the trend I just described. For the foreseeable future, be a prolific
genius of love, a creator of beautiful collaborations, an unsentimental
devotee of sweet and tender intimacy.
CANCER (June 21-July 22):
"Many a man fails to become a thinker for the sole reason
that his memory is too good," wrote Friedrich Nietzsche.
I suggest you contemplate that riddle, Cancerian. Is your ability
to stir up new perspectives sometimes hindered by the deep feelings
you have about your history? Is it possible that past experiences
you've grown to treasure tend to diminish your motivation to reinvent
yourself periodically? If so, it's a perfect time to break free
of the old days and old ways. Induce a little forgetfulness so
that you're more available for the future.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):
Is there really such a thing as free will, or are our destinies
shaped by forces beyond our control? Here's one way to think about
that question: Maybe some people actually have more free will
than others. Not because they have more money. (Many rich folks
are under the spell of their instincts, after all.) Not because
they have a high-status position. (A boss may have power over
others but little power over himself.) Rather, those with a lot
of free will have earned that privilege by taking strong measures
to dissolve the conditioning they absorbed while growing up. They've
acted on the advice of psychologist Carl Jung: "Until you
make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you
will call it fate." As you enter the phase of your astrological
cycle when more free will is yours for the taking, Leo, meditate
on these thoughts.
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AUDIO LOVE LETTERS
In addition to the horoscopes that come to you in this newsletter,
I create more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration.
I think of them as my love letters to you. They're $6 if you access
them on the Web, or $1.99 per minute over the phone.
Try them at RealAstrology.com.
They're available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.
"Your expanded astrology thingees help me remember who
I really am."
- Gareth N., Toronto
"I never knew it was possible to get my butt kicked and
my head patted at the same time -- until I listened to you, Rob."
- Kristi P., Portland, OR
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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
The billboard I saw said, "Develop a recreational habit
that won't show up in your urine." I didn't catch what product
it was advertising, but there was an image of a hang-glider, so
I figure it was promoting outdoor sports as a preferable alternative
to taking drugs. The billboard message happens to be excellent
advice for you, Virgo. In the coming weeks, you'll be wise to
seek liberating adventure and explore new modes of natural fun.
Doing so will steer you away from a path that could lead to messy
adventure and decadent fun.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
Why do people have sex? A study by the University of Texas found
that there are 237 reasons, from "I wanted to communicate
at a deeper level" to "I wanted to boost my self-esteem"
to "I wanted to be closer to God." According to my research,
Libra, you're likely to be motivated by as many as 25 of those
factors in the coming weeks, way up from your average of eight.
We might logically conclude, then, that you may seek out erotic
experiences at a rate three times your norm. (Here's more about
the 237 reasons: tinyurl.com/24av4j,
tinyurl.com/22z9ep, and
tinyurl.com/346xxp.)
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
"Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge,"
says educator Bill Bullard. "It requires no accountability,
no understanding. The highest form of knowledge . . . is empathy,
for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s
world. It requires profound, purpose-larger-than-the-self kind
of understanding." In that spirit, Scorpio, I encourage you
to renounce three of your opinions, preferably those that are
least-well-informed and not rooted in first-hand experience. I
also challenge you to carry out a week-long experiment based on
the following hypothesis: Expanding your capacity for empathy
will make you smarter.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
Your metaphorical pregnancy has gone on rather long. No reason
to panic. I'm sure your brainchild or masterpiece will arrive
shortly. But just for fun, maybe you could watch a time-lapse
film of a rose opening. That was helpful in expediting the birth
process for two new mothers I know. Here are two other tricks
to try, even if the blessed event you're about to enjoy is purely
symbolic: Arrange to be in a place where a storm is coming on.
Folk tradition says that labor often follows drops in barometric
pressure. Or get a hold of rings made from a rattlesnake tail.
Early American explorers Lewis and Clark gave them to their Native
American guide Sacagawea when it was near her time, and they seemed
to magically expedite the baby's arrival.
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AUDIO HOROSCOPES
In addition to the horoscopes that you're reading here, I create
more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. Find out
more at RealAstrology.com.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888
or 1-900-950-7700.
"You told me the truth when no one else in my life would."
- Darren H., Minneapolis
"Your wake-up calls keep me from getting stale."
- Arris T., Aspen, CO
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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
I've got three messages for you. They may seem unrelated, but
by this time next week you will see that they are intimately interconnected.
1. Unless you were raised in the woods by badgers, it's a perfect
moment to slip into your second childhood. 2. Unless you really
can't stand having your mind changed, it's an excellent time to
launch a daring project that would have seemed impossible to the
person you were a year ago. 3. People unsympathetic to your cause
may think you're in the throes of delusions of grandeur, but those
of us who have faith in your untapped powers say they're not delusions
but viable fantasies.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
On the San Francisco State University campus, the lampposts shine
blue lights. It's not just a decorative touch. Of all the colors,
blue best pierces through fog, which is a regular feature in that
part of the world. In this spirit, I suggest you install a blue
light bulb in a prominent place in your environment for the next
two weeks. It will be a symbolic reminder that there may be more
mental murk and emotional haze for you to navigate through than
usual. With the proper illumination, you won't be deluded or slowed
down a bit.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
The Washington Post gave its readers an assignment:
Come up with a statement they'd like to sneak on to President
Bush's teleprompter during a major speech. Chances would be good
that he'd probably just say it, right? The entries included "I
shall make it my duty to eat a kitten for breakfast every day,"
"Global warming can be reversed if everyone just turned his
air conditioner around," and "I wish to announce my
conversion to Islam." I bring this to your attention, Pisces,
because you're in peril of getting into a situation like that.
Unless you're careful, you could end up saying things you don't
mean or expressing yourself in ways that don't reflect your actual
feelings. To make sure that doesn't happen, concentrate hard on
communicating with maximum clarity and candor.
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
The U.S. government is spending over $500,000 per minute on the
war in Iraq. Meanwhile, Exxon Mobil is raking in about $73,000
of profit per minute. Is there any connection? Though I have my
suspicions, I don't know for sure. I do know that the coming weeks
will be an excellent time for you to phase out any situation in
your personal life that resembles America's cash drain in Iraq.
It will also be a favorable period for you to brainstorm about
how you could upgrade your financial intake to be more like Exxon
Mobil's.
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HOMEWORK:
For exactly five days, uphold your highest ideal in every little
way you can imagine. Report results by going to FreeWillAstrology.com
and clicking on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological
colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In
our many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had
a major influence on each other's work.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained
intuition, emotional warmth, and
a high
degree of technical proficiency
in horoscope interpretation; she
is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your
life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner
wisdom.
Ro is based in California, but
can do phone consultations and
otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic
boundaries.
Ro's website is at YourSoulJourney.com
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
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Submissions sent to the Free
Will Astrology Weekly Newsletter
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assignments" may be
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including but not limited to newsletters,
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Requests for anonymity will be
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otherwise, reader names, screen
names, or initials will be used.
Please be sure to note your preference
when sending to us. We
are not responsible for unsolicited
submission of any creative
material.
Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2008 Rob Brezsny
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