So many people talk about the value of living in the present moment. Yet, so few people actually do. Most of us live predominantly in the past or in the future. Time magazine has an article about the “Mindful Revolution” – The science of finding focus in a stressed-out, multitasking culture. (Vol. 183, No. 4, 2014). Mindful Revolution
We are more likely to EITHER:
--Look back at our history and experience and make decisions, choices, and assumptions based on what happened and then make predictions vs. what is happening right now. OR
--We are very entrenched in the ‘what if’s’ of life focusing on all of the possibilities – usually more negative than positive, thus creating worry and fear.
While attending the School of Practical Philosophy for 12 years, the focus and premise was that the only thing that really matters is the true self in the present moment. Sounds hokey at first. In actuality, it made sense because it was only in the moments of truly being present, that anyone reported feeling peaceful.
We are so caught up in our day-to-day activities or plans, and more often in our thoughts. We are constantly spinning stories, chatting in our minds, giving ourselves a hard time, making judgments, thinking about what has happened or what will happen, etc.
What I learned – and have oftentimes tried unsuccessfully to refute - is that the only way we are truly present is when we are focused on one of our five senses: seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, or tasting. It’s not often that people truly taste their food because they are either engaged in conversation, listening to music, reading, etc. at the same time.
Here’s how being in the present moment actually occurs. (Check it out for yourself and see what happens.) While doing any of these, your attention is purely focused on the present moment – and it may only be for a moment.
SEEING: Focus on an object without making any judgment or criticism or comment.
LISTENING: Listen to the sound of someone’s voice, the noise outside, and imagine the sounds beyond your immediate area.
TOUCHING: Feel yourself being supported by the chair, feel your feet on the floor or ground, feel the air on your face.
SMELLING: Smell the odors and scents around you. If none stand out, focus on smelling/breathing.
TASTING: Taste whatever is in your mouth – even if there is no food.
What you will likely notice is that while you are truly focused on one of the above, no thoughts are spinning around in your mind. Actually, if you are truly focused on one of the above, no thoughts CAN be spinning around in your mind. If they are, you are not in the present moment. Sometimes it can be fleeting and other times, it can hold your attention for a short while. The key is to experience it so it can occur more often.
“When we are mindful, deeply in touch with the present moment, our understanding of what is going on deepens, and we begin to be filled with acceptance, joy, peace and love.”
― Thích Nhat Hạnh
Why bother being present?
A man had just buried his child and returned home with some close friends in conversation. While in conversation, at one point, he actually smiled. That happened because at that moment he was present and no thoughts could enter his mind. So for a fleeting moment, he wasn’t feeling his grief.
“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”
― Thích Nhat Hạnh, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life
"If you give yourself one complete minute of focused presence,
to simply stop; even to listen to your heart beating,
it will take you out of your head and introduce you to the moment...
which is complete in itself.
It is not on the way to another moment.
It is not a bridge to another opportunity.
It is the timeless perfection."
Anthony Paul Moo-Young
INVITATION TO EXPERIMENT
You may never want to repeat this, but I invite you to at least try one time to focus on one of the five senses and notice what happens. Notice if during real focus any thoughts come in. Notice if you feel a sense of peace or calm. It’s especially helpful to try this when you are not feeling peaceful.
Very best regards,
marion@lifecoachinggroup.com
(c) 2004-14. All rights reserved. Marion Franklin, www.lifecoachinggroup.com
Comments? Feedback? lllfeedback@lifecoachinggroup.com
P.S. If you enjoyed this issue, I'd love it if you'd spread the word. Do so by forwarding this to a friend and inviting them to subscribe at the Life's Little Lessons link. Thank you for continuing to read Life's Little Lessons TO READ PAST ISSUES Past Issues (Highly recommended)
Putting Yourself Last? Now it's time for you to step up and take care of number one - YOU. As long as you realize just how drained you are, it's time to learn the skills and get the support you need to quickly learn how to put yourself first WITHOUT being selfish. Take advantage of a 30-minute complimentary phone "IT'S MY TURN" discussion around any area of your life where you are feeling challenged.
*NOTEWORTHY* --**ICF-approved Laser Coaching Program - NEXT: MAY 4 spots left! (Last 8 out of 9 classes SOLD OUT with waiting list) - - Become a coach or enhance your skill level AND Mentor Session Snapshot! (see below)
**Laser Coaching Program (ACSTH or CCEU)**
NOW 60 Approved ICF CREDITS TOWARDS CERTIFICATION -- Next: MAY - 4 spots left! so contact me for information NOW.
If you want to become a coach, dramatically increase your skill level, or are calling yourself a coach but deep down questioning your skill level, not feeling overly confident, need a flexible class schedule that fits into your current routine, and not willing to invest a great deal of time and money, then the "Laser Coach Your Way to Sustainable Success" a 12-week program may be a great choice for you.
The program is limited to 6 people at a time for HIGHLY individualized and customized attention and has been very affordably priced so that it's easy to say 'yes.' For lots of details and TONS of testimonials (with a similar theme... gained confidence; great value), visit the website: Laser Coaching Program.
ICF Pre-Approved credit towards certification or renewal - 60 ACSTH or CCEUs (Core Competencies) available.
Next group: NEXT: MAY - 4 SPOTS LEFT! (Last 8 out of 9 classees SOLD OUT--not a marketing gimmick). Grab a spot IMMEDIATELY by contacting me, and I'll answer your questions and address concerns.
NEW: Mentor Session Snapshot! - Here's a 10 minute peek into my weekly Mentor Group (included in Laser Coaching program) where you will hear a small part of a coaching conversation followed by individual feedback from the group.
CLICK HERE FOR AUDIO SNIPPET
Coach With Confidence! -- Practicum Mentor Group**
6 ICF Core Competencies CEU's for every month of attendance
*N O W - 3 Mentor GROUPS -- ALL EXPERIENCE LEVELS
COACHING MENTOR PRACTICUM GROUPS
Newer coaches and/or ACC, PCC, MCC (working towards or RENEWAL): Wednesdays at 1PM or 5PM or 8PM (Eastern)
Ways to build your confidence and coaching skills:
JOIN the group and stay for as little as 4 weeks or as long as you like - 6 ICF CEUs per 4 sessions (Only $125 per month - or less with packages)
-*-Want a place to share your client challenges and ask questions?
-*-Feeling a bit insecure about your coaching or want to improve your skills?
-*-Need a safe place to practice and get supervision?
-*-Want to deepen and lengthen client relationships?
Contact me or click this link for details.