|
Marion Franklin, MS, MCC |
|
'
Vol. 9, #1 - January 2012 |
Life Coach, Marion Franklin, is dedicated to helping
people improve their lives - one step at a time by sharing
knowledge, thoughts, and ideas. To that end, a monthly
newsletter will automatically be delivered to your inbox.
I PROMISE you the themes will be short and to
the point ('pithy').
Feel free to pass this on to friends and associates
- please just keep the entire issue intact.
You are receiving "Life's Little Lessons"
newsletter because you are a former or current client,
past class participant, potential client, relative or friend.
If you received this from a friend and want to SUBSCRIBE please click Life's Little Lessons, enter your e-mail and then respond to the page proving that you are a person. Or to simply READ PAST ISSUES just click and pick a topic. (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED) or GET THE PDF Book below.
NEW...
Life's Little Lessons E-book (PDF)
Get the book here
|
|
|
Society contributes to reinforcing our negative feelings. It has been statistically proven that fashion models are 23% thinner than they were 10 years ago. This sets up an expectation and unrealistic standard, and when we feel that we don't match this, we conclude that there is something wrong with us. When an unrealistic standard is set, we make a negative, silent interpretation about ourselves.
A man found a bag filled with balls. They didn't look like much, so he threw them one at a time into the ocean.
Then he mistakenly dropped one, and it cracked open. Inside was a beautiful, precious stone. He broke open those remaining and found thousands of dollars worth of jewels.
He had already thrown away many balls with their hidden treasure. Instead of thousands of dollars in riches, he had very little.
It's like that with people. There is a treasure in each one of us. We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external vessel. It doesn't look like much from the outside. It isn't always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it. We see that person as less important than someone more beautiful, stylish, well-known, or wealthy. We have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside another person or in ourselves.
Author Unknown
|
There are so many variations of behaviors and thoughts we think because we believe deep down that we aren't good enough. Examples:
We overcompensate - take excessive measures attempting to correct or make amends for an error, weakness or problem. Typically, one parent believes the other is too strict or too lenient and will go too far the other way to make up for it. Often, people have a need to overbook, over commit, and do too much, thus avoiding their feelings. Others keep busy to feel important and better about themselves.
We do things for other people to make ourselves feel better. While it's always nice to do things for other people, sometimes the motive comes from wanting to feel better about ourselves vs. simply helping someone else. We become overly concerned or attentive to everyone but ourselves.
We compromise on things we shouldn't. We might let go or give up on an idea or value to please someone else. We postpone things that we believe are good for us (medical check-ups).
We get into or stay in toxic relationships (friends, romantic, work). Many relationships are actually damaging to our esteem and yet, because we devalue ourselves, we rationalize and somehow justify that it's okay.
We tolerate unacceptable behavior. Because of our belief that we aren't good enough, we allow people to say and do mean or inappropriate things. We might go so far as to take verbal or physical abuse, and at a core level believe that we deserve to be treated so poorly. We accept harsh words as true. Although, on some level we hear the words as harsh or mean, on a deeper level, we accept them as truth.
We don't set and hold good boundaries to protect us. So often, we don't set limits on what is acceptable and what is not for other people to do to us. And, if and when we do set limits, we back down and allow the behavior to continue.
We don't ask for what we want. Because we believe that we don't deserve good things or a better life, we don't ask for it. We purchase things for others but not ourselves.
We berate ourselves when things don't go as planned or we think we could have done better. It is all too common that we beat ourselves up more than anyone else because we feel as though we have failed in some way.... even if it was a simple, honest mistake. We stay quiet for fear of being wrong or sounding stupid. We don't realize that making a mistake or not knowing is acceptable, so we stay quiet and lose out on opportunities.
We seek perfection in ourselves and/ or others. When we can't be perfect, we give ourselves a hard time. Instead of being with what is, we might look to others to be perfect (such as our children). OR We are judgmental and critical of others instead of looking inside, because it's easier to look elsewhere and see other people's faults and mistakes than it is to own up to our own. And, by noticing other people's faults and mistakes, it makes us feel better--- but only temporarily.
We focus on the negatives. Many good things are taken for granted because we are so focused on the negatives. We believe that everyone else's life is better or more important than ours. Instead of looking at all of the good things we have, the focus turns to everyone else, and the comparisons contribute to our feeling bad about ourselves. The one tiny negative comment lingers forever; whereas all of the compliments and praise go unnoticed.
It is human nature to build layers and masks on top of who we really are. We forget that we are the jewel inside.
INVITATION TO EXPERIMENT
Think about all of the 'stories' you make up every day about yourself, about others.
What you probably don't consider is that IT IS ALL MADE UP. None of them are true - not the good ones, nor the bad ones. You literally make it all up to fit an idea or image that you or society has created.
If you feel inclined, please let me know if you decide to go ahead and try this experiment. I look forward to hearing about your experiences. Your feedback and comments have been most welcomed:-) Keep them coming!!
Very best regards,
marion@lifecoachinggroup.com
(c)
2004-11. All rights reserved. Marion Franklin, www.lifecoachinggroup.com
Comments? Feedback? lllfeedback@lifecoachinggroup.com
P.S. If you enjoyed this issue, I'd love it if you'd spread the word. Do so by forwarding this to a friend and inviting them to subscribe at the Life's Little Lessons link. Thank you for continuing to read Life's Little Lessons TO READ PAST ISSUES Past Issues (Highly recommended)
Any relationship conflicts you want to discuss: family? friend? co-worker? boss? employee? Take advantage of a 30-minute complimentary phone "RELATIONSHIP MAKEOVER" discussion around any area of your life where you are feeling challenged.
*NOTEWORTHY* --
**ICF-approved Laser Coaching Program - MAY, 2012 - 3 spots left! - - Become a coach or enhance your skill level AND Mentor Session Snapshot! (see below)
N E W!**For THERAPISTS and FORMER therapists - 30 hour Laser Coaching Program - April-May 7 1/2 weeks. Earn a Board Certified Coach (BCC) credential from the Center for Credentialing and Education (CCE).
N E W: YouTube Interview with Life Coach Marion where she talks about her Laser Coaching program, Mentor Practicum groups, her mission as a coach and trainer, and her timeless Life's Little Lessons newsletters. Her expertise is getting to the root of the problem efficiently (laser), skillful direct communication, and creating permanent change in perspective. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyQ_kM5OJpA
UPCOMING and ONGOING Programs
**Laser Coaching Program (ACSTH or CCEU)** NOW 60 Approved ICF CREDITS TOWARDS CERTIFICATION -- Next: MAY 2012 - 3 spots left. (Last 4 classes sold out) so contact me for information NOW.
If you want to become a coach or are calling yourself a coach but deep down questioning your skill level, not feeling overly confident, need a flexible class schedule that fits into your current routine, and not willing to invest a great deal of time and money, then the "Laser Coach Your Way to Sustainable Success" a 12-week program may be a great choice for you.
The program is limited to 5 people at a time for HIGHLY individualized and customized attention and has been very affordably priced so that it's easy to say 'yes.' For lots of details and TONS of testimonials (with a similar theme... gained confidence; great value), visit the website: Laser Coaching Program.
ICF Pre-Approved credit towards certification or renewal - 60 ACSTH or CCEUs (Core Competencies) available.
Next group: NEXT: MAY 2012 - 3 spots left! Last four classes sold out (not a marketing gimmick). Grab a spot IMMEDIATELY by contacting me, and I'll answer your questions and address concerns.
N E W!**For THERAPISTS and FORMER therapists 30-hour Laser Coaching Program - April - May 7 1/2 weeks. Earn a Board Certified Coach (BCC) credential from the Center for Credentialing and Education (CCE).
Coach With Confidence! -- Practicum Mentor Group** 6 ICF Core Competencies CEU's for every month of attendance
NEW: Mentor Session Snapshot! - Here's a 10 minute peek into my weekly Mentor Group (included in Laser Coaching program) where you will hear a small part of a coaching conversation followed by individual feedback from the group.
CLICK HERE FOR AUDIO SNIPPET
*N O W - 2 Mentor GROUPS -- ALL EXPERIENCE LEVELS COACHING MENTOR PRACTICUM GROUPS
Newer coaches and/or ACC, PCC (working towards or RENEWAL): Wednesdays at 1pm ET (10am PT) or 8:30pm ET (5:30pm PT) Ways to build your confidence and coaching skills:
JOIN the group and stay for as little as 4 weeks or as long as you like - 6 ICF CEUs per 4 sessions (Only $100 per month)
-*-Want a place to share your client challenges and ask questions?
-*-Feeling a bit insecure about your coaching?
-*-Need a safe place to practice and get supervision?
-*-Want to keep deepen and lengthen client relationships?
Contact me or click this link for details.
|
ezezine.com
| |