No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt
What other people think of me is none of my business. Wayne Dyer
Never be ashamed of who you are. You have to accept that not everyone is going to love you back. That's why it's most important to love yourself. It's not about being what everyone wants you to be. It's about being yourself and finding someone who truly loves you for what you are. The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are. If you always accept and are comfortable with your flaws, no one can ever use them against you. So don't change just to please someone. Just be simple, original, and unique in your own way. Anonymous |
So many people have a tendency of 'trying' to be someone or something just so that others will like them. Unfortunately, the minute we do that, we lose our authenticity. Ironically, no matter who a person is, people who are genuine are the most admired and appreciated people.
I once had a client who was dating and consistently got into a relationship whenever she liked the guy. This was because she became who she thought the guy wanted her to be. She gave up her real self, her likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. to please the guy so he would like her. Unfortunately, within a short while, each and every one ended.
There will always be some people who do not like you. Others may have a hard time with certain aspects about you, you are the only one who has the power to accept yourself before anyone else can.
Recently, a client shared about being nervous about contacting people regarding his work and what he offers. What he came to realize is that he was fearful that he would be judged harshly and that people wouldn't like him or want to work with him. And most importantly, that not everyone will or 'should' like what he offers. It's just like fine artwork or music. No one painting or song pleases everyone.
Everyone has unique gifts and talents and when we compare ourselves to others, we invite trouble because our insecurities kick in, (e.g. I talk too much/too little, etc.) What we perceive as a weakness or negative is often a strength, e.g. someone who is very quiet is likely a great listener. If you take a moment, I think it's possible to recognize good things as well as little flaws, quirks, habits, and traits you have that make you unique. Now imagine accepting these characteristics about yourself and coming to terms with the fact that not everyone will like or approve of some of the things that you do.
Wondering what other people think of you means that you doubt yourself - your ideas, your thoughts, etc. When you accept yourself for who you are (the good, the bad, and the ugly), other people's opinions become unimportant and life is MUCH easier.
When you are already familiar with your perceived flaws, have acknowledged them, and more importantly have accepted them, only then, when people give you a hard time about them, it will roll right off. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't change or make an effort to modify some of these things, but rather that you first accept that this is part of who you are at this point in time.
It is okay to be who you are. Everyone, without exception, has problems, makes mistakes, and struggles in some areas. Letting go of feeling badly about who you are is an important step.
The sooner you accept who you are, the sooner you're truly free from the terrible burden that comes with caring about the opinions of others.
Acceptance is the first step. It's the first step towards living a happy, fulfilled life.
INVITATION TO EXPERIMENT
How would you behave/show up if you knew that everyone would like you no matter what? Technically, that IS how you should show up because you will never please everyone - no matter what. So why would you give up your individuality and authenticity?
Very best regards,
marion@lifecoachinggroup.com
(c) 2004-14. All rights reserved. Marion Franklin, www.lifecoachinggroup.com
Comments? Feedback? lllfeedback@lifecoachinggroup.com
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