I have failed many times and that's why I am a success. Michael Jordan
The only real failure in life is the failure to try. Frederick Smith
Too many times you have heard the cliche - try, try again. And probably too many times, you have tried something, it didn't work, and then you stopped trying.
Unfortunately, this is all too common. There is something about things not working out exactly as we would like, or feeling as though we are rejected because someone says no, that leaves us feeling discouraged.
There are so many stories of highly successful people who went through numerous trials before something took hold. Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup series) speaks about his 144 rejections from publishers in 14 months until #145 decided to take a chance on him. Thomas Edison, FedEx, and many others didn't make it for quite some time because their ideas were laughed at or rejected.
Jack Canfield: "If you go to a tree with an ax and take five whacks at the tree every day," he explains, "it doesn't matter if it's an oak or a redwood; eventually the tree has to fall down." But success strategies will only take you so far if you are emotionally "stuck." Many people simply don't take action on their dreams--despite knowing what the steps should be.
So what has some people not giving up and continuing to try and others getting discouraged and packing it in? Aside from determination, I think it might be a strong belief in oneself/ a product/ an idea no matter what other people think. People are often onto something even when others don't agree.
I recall many years ago when wallpaper was popular and computers first came out the idea of having a room on the screen and trying out different wallpapers would make it so much simpler to visualize the end result. Did I continue with that idea? Absolutely not. Instead, I talked myself out of it - too much work, no one will care, wallpaper won't be around for long, etc. Of course now, you can decorate, wallpaper, try different paint colors in rooms online and get a good sense of how it will look.
Consistently in coaching, I hear new coaches lamenting about how hard it is to get clients, to be a truly effective coach, etc. and they give up all their training and desire because it seems daunting. They feel as though they are failures vs. on a journey that will eventually lead to where they want.
It seems that most of us take any kind of 'no' or rejection so personally as if it's a reflection of ourselves. Actually, it's about the project or idea, and what someone else thinks of it. They aren't necessarily right even if many agree. If we try and it doesn't work, we tend to think it means that we have failed vs. it's an opportunity to keep trying until it does work or get realistic about how much effort, time, and money we are willing to expend.
As an Entrepreneur.com article explains:
While attending Yale University in the mid-1960s, Fred Smith (CEO of FedEx) wrote an economics term paper on the need for reliable overnight delivery in a computerized information age. His professor was less than impressed and responded: "The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible."
In China, management says you have to use failures as an opportunity for success. We may think this is easier said than done, and yet, why not try this perspective and see what happens?
INVITATION to EXPERIMENT
When was a time when you gave up on something that you believed in because one or more people told you it wasn't a good idea or wouldn't work? What might it look like now had you stayed with it?
How can you encourage someone else even if you think their idea won't work?
When have you persevered despite negative comments and actually gotten the result you wanted?
What will it take for you to 'try, try again?"
Very best regards,
marion@lifecoachinggroup.com
(c) 2004-13. All rights reserved. Marion Franklin, www.lifecoachinggroup.com
Comments? Feedback? lllfeedback@lifecoachinggroup.com
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