In the late 90's, Thomas Leonard, founder of coaching as we know it today, felt compelled to redefine success. When you ask someone what does successful mean? Typically you hear answers such as:
--someone who is wealthy
--someone who is famous (artist, singer, performer)
--someone who doesn't have to work
--someone who can do what they want whenever they want, etc.
Because we are so bombarded with outside influences - especially the media, billboards, etc., we have come to believe that success is measured by money and material things.
Thomas realized that there are so many people who have plenty of money, don't have to work, who are famous, etc. and yet, they don't feel successful. There was a recent story of a physician making over $525,000 per year who honestly believed he wasn't rich and didn't have enough. He drove a 'regular' car and felt judged by those around him.
Sadly, this is not an isolated case. Many people believe that climbing the ladder or reaching a monumental achievement that results in money equates to being successful.
Arianna Huffington's speech at a college commencement summed up what Thomas believed years before.
At the moment, our society's notion of success is largely composed of two parts: money and power. In fact, success, money, and power have practically become synonymous.
But it's time for a third metric -- one founded on well-being, wisdom, our ability to wonder, and to give back. Money and power by themselves are a two-legged stool -- you can balance on them for a while, but eventually you're going to topple over. And more and more people, very successful people, are toppling over. Basically, success the way we've defined it is no longer sustainable for human beings or for societies. To live the lives we want, and not just the ones we settle for, the ones society defines as successful, we need to include the third metric. Arianna Huffington
According to Thomas, defining success means that you have identified the 3 key relationships or other elements of life that are most important to you at this time. It is about knowing what drives you, focusing on what is important to you, and experiencing joy in your personal and professional life.
Once you define it for yourself, it sets you free. Otherwise, it is likely defined by society or someone else and confines you to striving, climbing, and comparing.
If success is defined based on who you are instead of what you have/don't have, chances are you will get a more appropriate job, change some of your relationships, and eliminate things that don't really work for you.
The key is to define internal, personal benchmarks that fit for you and who you are as a person.
When Thomas designed this module, he insisted on starting with very particular wording that can't be altered (although consistently people want to change it because it seems awkward).
The sentence begins with: I know how successful I am by how.....
Weak example: I know how successful I am by how creative I am.
Strong example: I know how successful I am by how much I am enjoying my creativity.
Weak example: I know how successful I am by how peaceful I feel.
Strong example: I know how successful I am by how often I feel at peace.
In both instances, the second example is more measurable at any point in time. And, following these examples, if you are not enjoying your creativity or feeling peaceful, you simply change what you are doing or find a way to create it. BTW, my personal statement: I know how successful I am by how little agitation I feel. It's a great barometer for me throughout the day.
INVITATION TO EXPERIMENT
Think about how you have been defining success for yourself. See if you are willing to redefine it based on who you are vs. what you have/don't have. Come up with your own statement that speaks to you and one that lets you check in with yourself at any moment. If you find it difficult, feel free to contact me, and I will help you hone your statement.
Very best regards,
marion@lifecoachinggroup.com
(c) 2004-13. All rights reserved. Marion Franklin, www.lifecoachinggroup.com
Comments? Feedback? lllfeedback@lifecoachinggroup.com
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