Teen Relations Newsletter -- by Klaus Klein
Teen Newsletter by Klaus Klein MA, RCC
Title : The Key To A Strong Parenting Core
While working with a couple in my office,
something became very clear about their
This couple had the idea that the marriage
would just naturally continue be fine in
the middle of all their daily busyness.
The expectation was that since they were
working together to take care of their home,
finances, and child raising -- meant that the
marriage should be working just fine.
However, they felt very much apart, isolated
and losing the relationship.
Ever since they had their first born child, life
became hectic (most of us can relate to this),
and they found themselves dis-connected.
In my office without the distraction of parenting,
paying bills, going to work, preparing dinner,
cleaning chores, etc., they were able to connect
in a meaningful way quite well.
What struck me was they didn’t know what
‘nurturing the relationship' really meant. Especially
back at home in the ‘real world’.
I saw several key elements that this couple needed to
consciously and intentionally practice at home.
This would also be for the sake of their children
Otherwise in a few years time there may not be
much of a relationship to even build back up to
save the marriage.
Dealing with household chores separately or
together, paying bills, and handling the challenges
of parenting is NOT the same as 'nurturing the
4 Elements Parents Need to Consider:
1) Practice creating a time and space to 'de-role'
yourself from the business side of living
together and from being a mom and dad.
2) Practice being with each other as adults is vital
to nurturing the relationship.
3) Actually talking about something interesting,
exciting, like how you did when you first met --
not finances or children.
4) Laughing together (kids love to see parents
laughing together-- it makes them feel secure)
With all that needs to be done in busy lives -- couples
often sacrifice or forget the nurturing aspects of a
relationship for the sake of 'just getting things done'.
-- Very common in modern times.
This kind of 'habit' over time can lead couples to
totally dis-connecting from each other. Ultimately losing
the original meaning, purpose, and love that brought them
Having to work together with the finances, parenting,
and household responsibilities is like a business
The business side of living together and raising kids
DOES need to be done. BUT this is NOT the same as
'nurturing the marriage relationship'.
Nurturing your relationship is not only going out
for a few hours once a week, once a month, or once
It is also the simple little actions, such as kind/
validating/ acknowledging words on a daily basis.
A hug, a few INTENTIONAL minutes to really say 'hello'
and being present (mindfulness) with each other etc.,
can make a difference.
Over time even simple actions can really add life,
meaning, and energy to the marriage relationship. This
is vital to a core parenting foundation.
If parents don't do this -- then over time the life,
meaning, and energy of the marriage relationship gets
drained, and the parenting core gets strained.
By Nurturing the ‘marriage relationship’ the
parenting core remains solid which provides
kids with the kind of security they need
to grow and thrive.
One resource I recommend is :
5 LOVE LANGUAGES - UPDATED: THE
SECRET TO LOVE THAT LASTS
by Gary Chapman
Chapters Books Online Page:
Klaus Klein MA, RCC is a BC Registered
He works with individuals, couples, and families
His Office is : 5050 Kingsway 2nd Floor
in Burnaby, near Metrotown
Call for a Free 10-min consultation