|
|
showing 1-10 of 40 posts, jump to page
1
2
3
4
last
| Grinning Planet -- Gambling, Gandalf, GMOs, Gut Bacteria, More |
It's Grinning Planet!
... for JAN/FEB 2013
=== FUNNY GAMBLING QUOTES ===
"In Louisiana, we don't bet on football games, we bet on whether
a politician is going to be indicted or not."
-- Mark Duffy
"I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets.
That's how I lost my mind."
-- Steve Allen
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
-- Unknown
"If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and
can't tell who the sucker is, it's you."
-- Paul Newman
"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with ... read more |
| Grinning Planet -- Funny 'Gift' Quotes, Nano in Food, 2012 vs. 2013, more |
It's Grinning Planet!
... for Dec 2012
=== FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT GIFTS ===
"Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for
Christmas."
-- Kin Hubbard
"The entire institution of gift giving make no sense. Let's say
that I go out, and I spend 50 dollars on you, it's a laborious
activity, because I have to imagine what you need, where as you
know what you need. Now I could simplify things, just give you
the 50 dollars directly, and you could give me 50 dollars on my
birthday, and so on, until one of us dies, leaving the other one
old and 50 dollars richer. And ... read more |
| Grinning Planet -- Funny TG Quotes, Reasons to Buy Organic, more |
It's Grinning Planet!
... for November 2012
=== FUNNY THANKSGIVING QUOTES ===
"Thanksgiving, man-not a good day to be my pants."
-- Kevin James
thumb of colorful turkey "A two-pound turkey and a
fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at
Three-Mile Island."
-- Johnny Carson
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way.
I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we
had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took
their land."
-- Jon Stewart
"Nobody means what they say on Thanksgiving, Mom. You
know tha ... read more |
| Grinning Planet Election Special -- Funny Quotes, Green Voting |
=================================
FUNNY ELECTION QUOTES
=================================
Jimmy Fallon: "A new poll found that 59% of Americans
would rather eat a burger with President Obama, while
only 41% would eat one with Mitt Romney. While most
Americans don't care who they're with, as long as they
get that burger."
Jay Leno: "Experts say the entire 2012 election could
come down to just eight states. The states are:
confusion, dismay, depression, apathy, shock, disbelief,
despair, and anxiety."
David Broder: "Anyone that wants the presidency so much
that he'll spend t ... read more |
| Grinning Planet -- Funny Wealth Quotes, Gross National Happiness, more |
It's Grinning Planet!
... for OCT 2012
=== FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT WEALTH ===
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money
among themselves, there wouldn't be enough to go around."
-- Christina Stead
"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they
lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."
-- Rita Rudner
"I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to
offer me the position."
-- Mark Twain
"Developers this week introduced the Puma, a new two-wheeled,
two-seat electric vehicle that they say is a fast, ... read more |
| Grinning Planet -- Funny 'Constitution' Stuff, Cell Phone Rads, Solar Tours, more |
It's Grinning Planet!
... for SEP 2012
=== FUNNY CONSTITUTION QUOTES ===
"The constitution gives every American the inalienable
right to make a damn fool of himself."
-- John Ciardi
"A democracy is two wolves and a small lamb voting on what
to have for dinner. Freedom under a constitutional republic
is a well armed lamb contesting the vote."
-- Benjamin Franklin
LEELA: "Cool your jowls, Nixon. You may not like it that
Dr. Zoidberg desecrated a flag. You might even find the
image of it festering in his bowels somehow offensive. But
the right to freedom of e ... read more |
| Grinning Planet -- Nuclear Quotes, Science Cartoons, Body Burden, Money Funny, more |
Grinning Planet -- Nuclear Quotes, Science Cartoons, Body Burden, Money Funny, more
===================
It's Grinning Planet!
... for August 2012
=== FUNNY NUCLEAR QUOTES ===
"Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons:
I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use
them, they screw everything up."
-- Danny DeVito
"Nuclear apocalypse -- who do you need? Actors are probably not
top of the list. What can I do for you? I can pretend to be
somebody who can grow you some nice crops."
-- Danny DeVitoChristian Bale
... read more |
| Grinning Planet -- Summer Quotes, Coal Lobby, Banksters, Pesticides in Food, more |
It's Grinning Planet!
... for JULY 2012
=== FUNNY SUMMER QUOTES ===
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk
occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times
an hour, she can hurt you."
-- Erma Bombeck
"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze
is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."
-- James Dent
"It's a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do."
-- Walter Winchell
"'Heat, ma'am!' I said; 'it was so dreadful here, that I found
there was nothing left for it but to take off my ... read more |
| Grinning Planet -- Recyling Funnies, Noocular Future, Organicgate, Sharing Economy, more |
It's Grinning Planet!
... for JUNE 2012
=== FUNNY RECYCLING QUOTES ===
"Listen up, you couch potatoes: each recycled beer can
saves enough electricity to run a television for three hours."
Denis Hayes
"I regard this novel as a work without redeeming social value,
unless it can be recycled as a cardboard box."
Ellen Goodman
"Oh, oh, Miss Howe. Wait. I'm recycling glass bottles. I want
this world to be clean for our children. I mean, my children...
or your children... or OUR children. But seeing as how you got
a date with someone else tonight, it seems like a long shot. ... read more |
| Grinning Planet -- Polluting Your Funny Bone Since 2003 |
It's Grinning Planet!
May 2012
=== FUNNY POLLUTION QUOTES ===
"There's so much pollution in the air now that if it
weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all."
-- Robert Orben
"Give a man a fish, and he can eat for a day. But teach
a man how to fish, and he'll be dead of mercury poisoning
inside of three years."
-- Charles Haas
"Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,
For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain.
America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,
And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea." ... read more |
showing 1-10 of 40 posts, jump to page
1
2
3
4
last
|
|
