The Writers Network News, That’s a Fact, March 2021
The Writers Network News, That’s a Fact, March 2021
In This Issue
One: From the Editor's Desk: That’s a Fact
Two: Ask the Book Doctor—About Dialogue
Three: Subjects of Interest to Writers
Four: Contests, Agents, and Markets
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The Writers Network News
No Rules; Just Write!
Editor: Bobbie Christmas
Contents copyright 2021, Bobbie Christmas
No portion of this newsletter can be used without permission; however, you may forward the newsletter in its entirety to fellow writers.
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https://www.zebraeditor.com/
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Writer's Quote of the Month
“Reviewing has one advantage over suicide: in suicide you take it out of yourself; in reviewing you take it out of other people.” —George Bernard Shaw
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ONE: From the Editor’s Desk—That’s a Fact
Dear Fellow Writers:
I’m a fan of nonfiction books. I read nonfiction, write nonfiction, and many of the books that I edit are nonfiction. Perhaps that’s why when I read fiction I especially enjoy the novels that teach me something. Buried amid a strong story I love to learn new things. Most recently because of the setting in time and place, I felt that I was experiencing the difficulties of buying things in Cuba after it came under Communist rule. Years ago I learned details of how elevators work while reading a novel by John D. McDonald. Most recently I learned a new word: trisomy. A trisomy is a chromosomal condition characterized by an additional chromosome. A person with a trisomy has forty-seven chromosomes instead of forty-six. Down syndrome is one of the common forms of trisomy. Yes, my favorite fiction also teaches me something.
Almost everyone has a special interest in a subject, and when those interesting details are used as backdrop for fiction, I’m twice as entertained. Do you add interesting details into your novels? If so, do they appear organic to the story, naturally flowing in with the plot? I hope so.
One of the things all of us are learning is how to navigate life during a pandemic. I trust that while we write of this era we are true to the facts. I’m horrified to watch TV shows these days where characters wearing proper face masks walk from a car to a building, and when they enter to speak with others, they rip off their masks. All the other folks are without masks as well. I know directors want viewers to see characters’ facial expressions and faces in general, but the shows promote the exact opposite of what we should be doing. Walking from a car to a building without a mask might be fine if no one else is around, but when we see others, we put masks on, not take them off. We also don’t wear masks under our chins to speak to others. I want to scream at the TV screen, “You’ve got it backwards!”
Alas, I can’t change a TV program, but I trust that as we writers write about life during a pandemic that we get the facts right, even while we’re writing fiction.
Have you ever read a novel that had its facts wrong? A gun that you know holds only six bullets being shot eight times, for example? How did you feel about it?
I often have to tell writers to fact check everything, especially brand names. How do the brands want their spellings and capitalizations handled? Brands change, too, and writers have to keep up with those details. Walmart, for example, used to prefer Wal-Mart, but now Walmart is the correct spelling of the brand. Jell-O has a capital o. Band-Aid is not one word; it’s hyphenated. When writing the nickname for Coca-Cola, it’s still capitalized: Coke, especially because it means something else when lowercased. Editors aren’t necessarily fact checkers; it’s the job of the writer to get facts right, even in fiction.
And that’s a fact.
Yours in writing,
Bobbie Christmas Bobbie@zebraeditor.com or bzebra@aol.com
Author of two editions of WRITE IN STYLE, owner of Zebra Communications, director of The Writers Network, coordinator of the Florida Writers Association Editors Helping Writers service, and senior editor of Enjoy Cherokee Magazine
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TWO: Ask the Book Doctor—About Dialogue
By Bobbie Christmas
Q: I am a statistician. Much of the software I work on is related to communications and statistics. I was intrigued by your comment that 70 percent of novels should be dialogue. This figure seemed to be a lot of dialogue.
I took a random sample of pages from books by three authors, Patricia Cornwell, Jonathan Kellerman, and Clive Custler. As a measure, I used the number of lines on the page that were part of dialogue. A more accurate measure would be to count the number of words, but this measure should favor dialogue, because a one-word comment, “Yes,” would count the same as a full line of non-dialogue.
The results ranged from 43 to 59 percent, with a mean of 51 percent dialogue.
Thought you might be interested.
A: You picked some popular current authors and undertook an interesting study. Thank you for your time, talents, and observation.
I didn’t pick the 70 percent figure out of thin air, though. It was an answer agreed upon by a group of agents, publishers, and editors on a panel at a writers conference where I too sat on the panel. Maybe the information is idealistic, but in general publishers want more dialogue than narrative. Dialogue shows, whereas narrative often tells, and contemporary writing must show more than tell.
Which figure is right? The answer is not an absolute. Writers who strive for the 70 percent figure can’t go wrong, even if their novels don’t quite reach that mark. Less than half dialogue, and the writing might be considered literary, and it may not appeal to contemporary readers.
Q: I'm in the process of removing words like "then," "just," and "was" from my writing when they're unnecessary (I'm always horrified by how many "thens" I can remove; usually all of them). What about dialogue, though? In real-life speech, people use a lot of redundancy and speak in wordy sentences. Should we include those things in dialogue or remove them? Does it sound more natural to keep them, or does it look like sloppy writing?
A: Although I do recommend that narrative be attacked for wordiness, dialogue calls for a different approach. When people speak they often use extra words and even make errors in grammar and word choice. For example, in narrative we’d never write something like this: Me and John went to the store. Smart writers know the correct sentence would be this: John and I went to the store. In dialogue, however, someone with less education might indeed say, “Me and John went to the store.” Our job as a writer is to make dialogue sound natural, but if something can be deleted and the dialogue still sounds natural, delete it.
Q. Bobbie, I have been twirled around like a vessel in a tumultuous sea, listening to critiques and suggestions from friends, writers, and editors. On the advice of a writer, I recently revised a chapter in my novel, eliminating the repetitive use of a personal pronoun (she) at the beginning of several sentences. My revision overuses the “ing” form that changes active verbs into inactive gerunds, though. You have recommended that writers avoid “ing” words where possible.
Can you recommend how to avoid the “ing” word without starting each sentence with a noun or pronoun?
A: I’m reminded of a great thing artist Edgar Degas said, that painting is easy to those who don’t know how, but difficult for those who do. Writing is the same way. Whenever we learn a little more about creative style and strong writing, it affects everything we write or revise and can create new challenges.
How can you avoid “ing” words without starting with nouns or pronouns? Look for many ways. Change the structure of sentences so that no more than three are similar per page. You might start one sentence with an “ing” word, then start another with a pronoun, and then another some other way. Dialogue, however, offers the best of all options.
Let me create a sample paragraph and show potential rewrites.
Smiling all the way to the door, John exited the party. Knowing he had fooled almost everyone there, he felt confident that only Sam knew that Mary had left him because of the late hours he worked. Having to make up for Mary’s absence, John was stopping by a supermarket on his way home.
Possible rewrite that shows more than it tells while it also avoids starting sentences with similar words.
John left the party with a smile on his face. After he glanced back at the room full of mirth, he felt confident no one but Sam knew Mary had left him the day because of the late hours he worked. Rather than face a bare refrigerator, John stopped by the supermarket on his way home.
Dialogue, however, offers the best rewrite, because it always shows, rather than tells. Look at this rewrite of the same earlier paragraph:
Sam slapped John on the back. “How’s Mary? How are the kids?” He raised his drink to his lips.
“Uh, fine, just fine, really.”
“Why aren’t they here tonight? It’s the biggest neighborhood party since New Year’s.”
“I know, it’s just that . . . well, Mary . . . uh . . .”
“Did she finally leave you? It’s those late hours you’re always working, isn’t it?
His gaze fixed on his car keys, John said, “Keep your voice down, will you? I haven’t told a soul, and I’d rather keep it that way.”
“Sure, sure. I feel for you, though. When Liz left, I thought—”
“I’ve got to go. I have to stop by the supermarket and get some food for the house.”
Bobbie Christmas is a book editor, author of Write In Style: Use Your Computer to Improve Your Writing, and owner of Zebra Communications. She will answer your questions too. Send them to Bobbie@zebraeditor.com or BZebra@aol.com. Read Bobbie’s Zebra Communications blog at https://www.zebraeditor.com/blog/.
For much more information on these subjects and hundreds of others of vital importance to writers, order PURGE YOUR PROSE OF PROBLEMS, a Book Doctor’s Desk Reference Book at http://tinyurl.com/4ptjnr.
Bobbie Christmas’s award-winning second edition of WRITE IN STYLE: How to Use Your Computer to Improve Your Writing is available from Amazon at https://tinyurl.com/y7ppcdkd or buy it directly from me at https://tinyurl.com/y7p9xkbb.
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THREE: Of Interest to Writers
Members Write . . .
Ronny Richardson noted my reminder to writers to use the word “incredible” correctly and sent the following good example of the correct use: "The politician gave an incredible speech; no one believed a word of it." He added, “It would have been much more incredible had they believed it.”
Back in December, William Speir, five-time award winner for his books, wrote this in my response to my earlier newsletter that questioned whether writing for money meant selling out. “I published my first book ten years ago (I have rewritten it three times since that initial publication and changed the cover twice to make it easier for readers to understand what the book is about). It took about seven years to find a niche audience, and only in the past year (after the last cover change) has it achieved respectable sales. It’s the same with my other books. It takes about five to seven years for sales to reach a steady level. That’s why I remind authors weekly that this is a marathon, not a sprint. I’d write and publish even if I didn’t have any sales at all—the curse of my muse—but having some measure of income from my efforts does encourage me to continue doing what I love.
Does that make me a sell out? Hardly. It makes me lucky, and that’s good enough for me.”
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One sweet person wrote expressing concern that I said after I have my second COVID vaccine shot I’d hug my brother. She was worried that I would abandon all the recommended practices for disease prevention. After all, the vaccine is only 95 percent effective. I reassured her that I won’t abandon my mask or social distancing, but after my brother and I are both vaccinated, I will go in for a hug. We’ll turn our faces away from each other. We’ll wear our masks. After the hug we’ll still maintain our distance, as we always do. I’ve lived without hugs for a year now, though. I live alone (granted, with a dog and a parakeet), the pandemic kept my boyfriend away, and after not seeing each other for a year, we parted ways. I’ve been extra careful not to have any physical contact with any human beings other than for medical purposes.
Skin hunger, however, is a real thing. Human beings need the comfort of a touch, a hug, and for twelve months I’ve been deprived. One hug while wearing masks and after the proper waiting period after vaccination should not put me in danger.
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Editing Tip: Awhile/A While
Awhile (one word): For a short time. We fished the same spot awhile.
A while (two words): An undetermined period of time. I have been writing for a while.
Usage note: Awhile (one word), an adverb, is never preceded by a preposition such as for, but the two-word form a while may be preceded by a preposition. Each of the following is acceptable: stay awhile; stay for a while; stay a while (but not stay for awhile).
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Bobbie’s Blog
For creative writing tips and some personal experiences, access the Write In Style blog here: https://www.zebraeditor.com/blog/
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Looking for a Name?
American English names and their meanings.- https://babynames.net/all/starts-with/a
Fantasy names and names of fantasy towns - https://barelyharebooks.com/a-master-list-of-300-fantasy-names-characters-towns-and-villages/
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CMOS Online Q & A
This month someone posed the following question to The Chicago Manual of Style Online, and it’s an issue I run into quite often in the manuscripts I edit:
Q. If the word “god” is capitalized only when it is a proper name, why would you capitalize it in the expression “Oh my god!” unless you know that the speaker is referring to the specific deity worshipped by Christians and other monotheists? Does Chicago style uppercase or lowercase “Oh my god!”?
To get the answer to this question and many more based on Chicago style, go to http://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/qanda/latest.html.
THE CHICAGO MANUAL OF STYLE sets the standard in book publishing for issues such as punctuation, capitalization, and much more. If you write fiction or nonfiction books, you will want to know about Chicago style or be sure to use a professional book editor intimately familiar with Chicago style.
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Seven Letters from Famous Writers
Nicole Bianchi shares seven letters that relate writing advice from famous writers.
https://tinyurl.com/uan2tdxf
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Who Knows How Publishing Works?
Jessica Mason in a Mary Sue blog says, “Nora Roberts demolished a so-called fan who had presumed to tell the master romance author of more than 215 novels how publishing worked.” https://tinyurl.com/jp3nuff
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WRITE IN STYLE: How to Use Your Computer to Improve Your Writing
WRITE IN STYLE teaches writers how to strengthen their writing style and create a fresh voice, one that publishers and readers want to read.
Order your copy today at https://www.zebraeditor.com/book/write-in-style-how-to-use-your-computer-to-improve-your-writing/
or
https://shop.booklogix.com/Write-In-Style-Second-Edition-6295.htm?categoryId=-1
or
https://www.amazon.com/Write-Style-Computer-Improve-Writing-ebook/dp/B0167MCY6C
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FOUR: Contests, Agents, and Markets
Patheos
Patheos is a multi-faith website that is dedicated to hosting the conversation on faith. They are commissioning content to kickstart 2021. They are “looking for it all—religion and food, religion and fashion, religion and the environment, religion and the arts.” They are accepting pitches in the following categories: Religion Behind the Scenes Profiles; Reported Features; Surprise! Religious History; Pop Culture – Lists, Essays, Opinions; Religion Lost & Found Essays; and Holy Envy. They pay “around $250 for personal essays/op-eds, and up to $1,200 for lengthier, more resource-heavy pieces.” For more information, see https://tinyurl.com/2y4ykzfo
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Inverse Seeks Pitches for Articles
Pays about $0.50 a word
https://www.inverse.com/contact
Want to know what makes a good pitch? Read this guide from the Nieman Journalism Lab before you hit "send." Inverse editors welcome pitches from people without a lot of experience, and are happy to develop ideas with new freelancers.
We do expect pitches to include:
A clear sense of what the writer intends to report out.
What they think is newsworthy about their story.
How they intend to construct the story (narrative, oral history, guide, list, etc.)
What multimedia ideas they have in mind (original photography, audio interviews, etc.)
The hypothesis or even thesis ("nut graf") if they are that far along.
Word count is appreciated but not binding and your editor may change it.
Who to contact:
SCIENCE & INNOVATION — Email senior science editor Sarah Sloat, at sarah at inverse com, with "Mind/Body Freelance Story Pitch" as the subject line.
ENTERTAINMENT — Email TV and movies editor Josh Wigler, at josh at inverse dot com, with "Ent Freelance Story Pitch" as the subject line. This is for pitches related primarily to TV, movies, and culture.
VIDEO GAMES — Email video games editor Jen Glennon, at jen at inverse dot com, with "Video Games Freelance Story Pitch" as the subject line.
GENERAL PITCHES — Does your pitch not fall into the categories above? That's OK! Email editor-in-chief Nick Lucchesi at nick at inverse.com with "My pitch doesn't fit into the other buckets" as your subject line.
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Agent Ronald Gerber Open to Receive Submissions
Lowenstein Associates
115 E. 23rd St., Floor 4
New York NY 10010
Email: assistant@bookhaven.com.
www.lowensteinassociates.com
Ronald Gerber is a literary agent and manages foreign rights, permissions, and contracts at Lowenstein Associates. Before joining the Lowenstein team in April 2019, he spent several years in literary scouting at Sanford J. Greenburger Associates and Maximum Films & Management and supported two agents at Writers House. Ronald is a proud graduate of Bard College at Simon’s Rock and received his B.A., summa cum laude with high honors, from Clark University.
Ronald’s focus is on cinematic stories with strong hooks and relatable characters, and he is always looking for projects from queer, BIPOC, and other underrepresented authors. He is actively building his list in thriller/mystery, historical and contemporary fiction, romance, grounded sci-fi, narrative nonfiction, memoir/biography, and middle grade.
To query Ronald, please send your query letter in an email to assistant@bookhaven.com with the word “Query” in the subject line and the first chapter attached as a Word document. Paper queries will be discarded. If you do not receive a response within sixweeks, please consider it a pass from the agency.
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The Writers Network News: a newsletter for writers everywhere. No Rules; Just Write!
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