Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
April 19, 2017
See a pretty version of this newsletter: http://bit.ly/YouAreBold
Every week since 2001, I have offered my Free Will Astrology horoscopes
for free here in my newsletter. If you would like to support my ongoing
work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at Paypal. It's here:
You can also support my work by buying the Expanded Audio Horoscopes
I create every week. These forecasts are different in tone and content
from the written horoscopes I provide here. They're my four- to five-
minute-long ruminations about the current chapter of your life story.
They're available at http://RealAstrology.com.
WHAT I DO
I love creating a collection of twelve horoscopes each week for my
readers. The *Good Times* newspaper in Santa Cruz, California published
my first batch in January 1978, and I would love to keep writing them
until at least January of 2038.
In order to live up to that challenge with integrity, I will have to continue
doing what I have been doing since January 1978: relentlessly reinvent
the way I create them. When I look back at the horoscopes I composed in
1978 and 1985 and 1992 and 2000 and 2008, I am amazed at how
different they are from the way I approach my craft now. I could swear it
was another person who wrote them.
And that's how it should be. It's good evidence that I'm living up to my
ideal of how to be a creative artist. Experimenting with endless revision.
Being willing to dispense with the old formulas, even those that have
worked pretty well, so as to welcome the surprises life offers. Killing off
the old ways so that new ways can emerge.
That's not just a sound strategy for me to pursue as a creative writer. It's
also a cornerstone of my plan to master the art of being a human being.
The blunt fact is that life has an extreme fondness for change. The
Creator likes to keep things moving right along.
So if I hope to cooperate and even collaborate with the Primal Flux, I have
to be adept at transformation. I have to celebrate the central formula of
Hermetic magick: "Dissolution is the secret of the Great Work." Breaking
down psychological fixations is an indispensable spiritual discipline, says
the wisdom of the ages. Killing off one's illusions is a prime duty of a
devotee of magick.
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From the Boulder Weekly: "For 28 years, Rob Brezsny has been covertly
practicing poetry in the form of a weekly astrology column. Free Will
Astrology runs in more than 100 newspapers nationwide . . ." More:
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My book *PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA*
is available at Amazon: http://bit.ly/Pronoia
or Powells: http://bit.ly/PronoiaPowells
Below are excerpts.
WHAT IS THE SOUL?
What's true about the word "God" may apply as well to "soul": Much of
the meaning has been sucked out of it. It's a flabby ghost that has lost its
life force. Say "soul" and you're liable to numb your listeners' attention.
At best you may inspire them to picture a vague floating blob that feels
more like an abstract concept than a real presence. That's a shame,
because the eminence that's lazily referred to as "soul" is as crucial to
you waking up tomorrow as your heart.
"If you need to visualize the soul," wrote Tom Robbins, "think of it as a
cross between a wolf howl, a photon, and a dribble of dark molasses. But
what it really is, as near as I can tell, is a packet of information. It's a
program, a piece of hyperspatial software designed explicitly to interface
with the Mystery. Not a mystery, mind you, the Mystery. The one that
can never be solved."
As part of the Beauty and Truth Lab's ongoing crusade to wrestle the
English language into a more formidable servant of the ecstatic impulse,
we're pleased to present some alternate designations for "soul." See if
any of the following concoctions feel right coming out of your mouth: 1.
undulating superconductor; 2. nectar plasma; 3. golden lather; 4.
smoldering crucible; 5. luminous caduceus.
If none of these work for you—or even if they do—create your own
P.S. Here's Robbins' conclusion: "By waxing soulful you will have granted
yourself the possibility of ecstatic participation in what the ancients
considered a divinely animated universe."
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IT'S BAD LUCK TO BE SUPERSTITIOUS
Review in painstaking detail the history of your life,
honoring every moment as if you were conducting
a benevolent Judgment Day.
Forgive yourself of every mistake except one.
Create a royal crown for yourself
out of a shower cap, rubber bands, and light bulbs.
Think of the last place on Earth you'd ever want to visit,
and visualize yourself having fun there.
Test to see if people are really listening to you by asserting
that Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers.
Steal lint from dryers in laundromats
and use it to make animal sculptures for someone you admire.
Fantasize you're the child of divine parents
who abandoned you when you were two days old,
but who will soon be coming back to reunite with you.
Meditate on how one of the symbols of plenitude in Nepal
is a mongoose vomiting jewels.
Once a year on the night before your birthday,
say these words into a mirror: "It's bad luck to be superstitious."
Start a club whose purpose is to produce an archive
of controversial jokes and obscene limericks about beauty, truth, and
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
Colorado's investment in IUDs and other fire-and-forget birth control
produced a "miracle." Teen births and abortions dropped by nearly 50%,
and the birthrate among teens who were already mothers fell by 58%.
There were also dramatic reductions in high-risk births.
The Student-Built Website That Keeps Government Climate Data Safe.
Since Trump's election, scientists have been scrambling to save climate
change data sets. And one Michigan graduate student thought the more
copies, the better.
UN report: Clean power is up, costs are down. Investment in renewables
capacity was roughly double that in fossil fuels. The cost of offshore wind
power has fallen by around a third since 2012 – far faster than expected.
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They aren't advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES:
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning April 20
Copyright 2017 by Rob Brezsny
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Fantasize about sipping pear nectar and
listening to cello music and inhaling the aroma of musky amber and
caressing velvet, cashmere, and silk. Imagine how it would feel to be
healed by inspiring memories and sweet awakenings and shimmering
delights and delicious epiphanies. I expect experiences like these to be
extra available in the coming weeks. But they won't necessarily come to
you freely and easily. You will have to expend effort to ensure they
actually occur. So be alert for them. Seek them out. Track them down.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Contagion may work in your favor, but it could
also undermine you. On the one hand, your enthusiasm is likely to ripple
out and inspire people whose help you could use. On the other hand, you
might be more sensitive than usual to the obnoxious vibes of
manipulators. But now that I've revealed this useful tip, let's hope you will
be able to maximize the positive kind of contagion and neutralize the
negative. Here's one suggestion that may help: Visualize yourself to be
surrounded by a golden force field that projects your good ideas far and
wide even as it prevents the disagreeable stuff from leaking in.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): A reader named Kris X sent me a rebuke.
"You're not a guru or a shaman," he sneered. "Your horoscopes are too
filled with the slippery stench of poetry to be useful for spiritual seekers."
Here's my response: "Thank you, sir! I don't consider myself a guru or
shaman, either. It's not my mission to be an all-knowing authority who
hands down foolproof advice. Rather, I'm an apprentice to the Muse of
Curiosity. I like to wrestle with useful, beautiful paradoxes. My goal is to
be a joyful rebel stirring up benevolent trouble, to be a cheerleader for
the creative imagination." So now I ask you, my fellow Cancerian: How do
you avoid getting trapped in molds that people pressure you to fit inside?
Are you skilled at being yourself even if that's different from what's
expected of you? What are the soulful roles you choose to embody
despite the fact that almost no one understands them? Now is a good
time to meditate on these matters.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In the coming weeks, there will be helpers whose
actions will nudge you -- sometimes inadvertently -- toward a higher level
of professionalism. You will find it natural to wield more power and you
will be more effective in offering your unique gifts. Now maybe you
imagine you have already been performing at the peak of your ability, but
I bet you will discover -- with a mix of alarm and excitement -- that you
can become even more excellent. Be greater, Leo! Do better! Live
stronger! (P.S.: As you ascend to this new level of competence, I advise
you to be humbly aware of your weaknesses and immaturities. As your
clout rises, you can't afford to indulge in self-delusions.)
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I love to see you Virgos flirt with the
uncharted and the uncanny and the indescribable. I get thrills and chills
whenever I watch your fine mind trying to make sense of the fabulous and
the foreign and the unfathomable. What other sign can cozy up to exotic
wonders and explore forbidden zones with as much no-nonsense
pragmatism as you? If anyone can capture greased lightning in a bottle or
get a hold of magic beans that actually work, you can.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A friend told me about a trick used by his
grandmother, a farmer. When her brooding hens stopped laying eggs, she
would put them in pillowcases that she then hung from a clothesline in a
stiff breeze. After the hens got blown around for a while, she returned
them to their cozy digs. The experience didn't hurt them, and she swore
it put them back on track with their egg-laying. I'm not comfortable with
this strategy. It's too extreme for an animal-lover like myself. (And I'm
glad I don't have to deal with recalcitrant hens.) But maybe it's an apt
metaphor or poetic prod for your use right now. What could you do to
stimulate your own creative production?
LOVE YOUR LIFE!
How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating
yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned
responses? Are you turning out to be the hero of your own life?
For assistance and inspiration, tune in to my EXPANDED AUDIO
These forecasts are different in tone and format from the written
horoscopes you read here in the newsletter. They're longer and more
leisurely in tone. They tend to bring out more of the patient counselor in
me, and have a bit less of the poet.
To listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope online, go to
Register and/or log in through the main page.
You can also listen over the phone by calling 1-877-873-4888.
The cost is $6 per sign on the Web (discounts available for bulk
purchases), or $1.99 per minute by phone. Each forecast is 4-5 minutes
The Expanded Audio Horoscopes work on most smart phones and tablets.
"I don't much believe in astrology. But that doesn't seem to get in the
way of me deriving a whole lot of benefits from your expanded audio
- A. Arrosto, Indianapolis
"You have an amazing aptitude for cutting through the lies I tell myself.
Thanks for the gentle shocks."
- T. Preneris, Toronto
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Now would be an excellent time to add deft
new nuances to the ways you kiss, lick, hug, snuggle, caress, and fondle.
Is there a worthy adventurer who will help you experiment with these
activities? If not, use your pillow, your own body, a realistic life-size robot,
or your imagination. This exercise will be a good warm-up for your other
assignment, which is to upgrade your intimacy skills. How might you do
that? Hone and refine your abilities to get close to people. Listen deeper,
collaborate stronger, compromise smarter, and give more. Do you have
any other ideas?
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): "If I had nine hours to chop down a tree,
I'd spend the first six sharpening my ax," said Abraham Lincoln, one of
America's most productive presidents. I know you Sagittarians are more
renowned for your bold, improvisational actions than your careful planning
and strategic preparation, but I think the coming weeks will be a time
when you can and should adopt Lincoln's approach. The readier you are,
the freer you'll be to apply your skills effectively and wield your power
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Zoologists say that cannibalizing offspring
is common in the animal kingdom, even among species that care tenderly
for their young. So when critters eat their kids, it's definitely "natural."
But I trust that in the coming weeks, you won't devour your own children.
Nor, I hope, will you engage in any behavior that metaphorically resembles
such an act. I suspect that you may be at a low ebb in your relationship
with some creation or handiwork or influence that you generated out of
love. But please don't abolish it, dissolve it, or abandon it. Just the
opposite, in fact: Intensify your efforts to nurture it.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your astrological house of communication
will be the scene of substantial clamor and ruckus in the coming weeks. A
bit of the hubbub will be flashy but empty. But much of it should be
pretty interesting, and some of it will even be useful. To get the best
possible results, be patient and objective rather than jumpy and reactive.
Try to find the deep codes buried inside the mixed messages. Discern the
hidden meanings lurking within the tall tales and reckless gossip. If you
can deal calmly with the turbulent flow, you will give your social circle a
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The best oracular advice you'll get in the
coming days probably won't arise from your dreams or an astrological
reading or a session with a psychic, but rather by way of seemingly
random signals, like an overheard conversation or a sign on the side of a
bus or a scrap of paper you find lying on the ground. And I bet the most
useful relationship guidance you receive won't be from an expert, but
maybe from a blog you stumble upon or a barista at a café or one of your
old journal entries. Be alert for other ways this theme is operating, as
well. The usual sources may not have useful info about their specialties.
Your assignment is to gather up accidental inspiration and unlikely
ARIES (March 21-April 19): After George Washington was elected as the
first President of the United States, he had to move from his home in
Virginia to New York City, which at the time was the center of the
American government. But there was a problem: He didn't have enough
cash on hand to pay for his long-distance relocation, so he was forced to
scrape up a loan. Fortunately, he was resourceful and persistent in doing
so. The money arrived in time for him to attend his own inauguration. I
urge you to be like Washington in the coming weeks, Aries. Do whatever's
necessary to get the funds you need to finance your life's next chapter.
Homework. At least 30 percent of everything you and I know is more than
half-wrong. Are you brave enough to admit it? Describe your ignorance.
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2017 Rob Brezsny