Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
September 30, 2015
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See a pretty version of this newsletter: http://bit.ly/1h5MOWF
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My book *PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA*
is available at Amazon: http://bit.ly/Pronoia
or Powells: http://bit.ly/PronoiaPowells
Below are excerpts.
Bless your appetite. May it be voracious and unapologetic.
Much respect for your buried needs and secret yearnings. May they
flow into plain view for you to embrace and celebrate.
Congratulations for your willingness to name the unspeakable truths
and acknowledge the embarrassing fears. May you be willing to rebel
against your self-image for the sake of gaining access to deeper
reserves of power and competence.
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You came into this world as a radiant bundle of exuberant riddles. You
slipped into this dimension as a shimmering burst of spiral hallelujahs.
You splashed into this realm as a lush explosion of ecstatic gratitude.
And it is your birthright to fulfill those promises.
I'm not pandering to your egotism when I tell you these things. When
I urge you to "Be yourself," I don't mean you should be the self that is
greedy to win every argument and stockpile a heap of garish treasures
and believe in the absolute truth of every hostile, paranoid thought
your monkey mind comes up with.
When I say, "Be yourself," I mean the self that says "Thank you!" to
the wild irises and the windy rain and the people who grow your food.
I mean the rebel creator who's longing to make this entire planet your
precious home and protected sanctuary. I mean the dissident
bodhisattva who is joyfully struggling to germinate the seeds of divine
love that are packed inside every moment.
When I say, "Be yourself," I mean the spiritual freedom fighter who is
bustling and finagling and conspiring to relieve your fellow messiahs of
their suffering as you shower them with rowdy blessings.
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Change yourself in the way you want everyone else to change
Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be jerks
Avoid thinking about winning the lottery while making love
Brainwash yourself before someone nasty beats you to it
Confess big secrets to people who aren't very interested
Write a love letter to your evil twin during a lunar eclipse
Fool the tricky red beasts guarding the Wheels of Time
Locate the master codex and add erudite graffiti to it
Sell celebrity sperm on the home shopping channel
Dream up wilder, wetter, more interesting problems
Change your name every day for a thousand days
Kill the apocalypse and annihilate Armageddon
Exaggerate your flaws till they turn into virtues
Brag about what you can't do and don't have
Get a vanity license plate that reads KZMYAZ
Bow down to the greatest mystery you know
Make fun of people who make fun of people
See how far you can spit a mouthful of beer
Pick blackberries naked in the pouring rain
Scare yourself with how beautiful you are
Simulate global warming into your pants
Stage a slow-motion water balloon fight
Pretend your wounds are exotic tattoos
Sing anarchist lullabies to lesbian trees
Plunge butcher knives into accordions
Commit a crime that breaks no laws
Sip the tears of someone you love
Build a plush orphanage in Minsk
Feel sorry for a devious lawyer
Rebel against your horoscope
Give yourself another chance
Write your autohagiography
Play games with no rules
Teach animals to dance
Trick your nightmares
Relax and go deeper
Dream like stones
Mock your fears
Drink the sun
Fuck gravity
Sing love
Be mojo
Do jigs
Ask id
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"You have more freedom than you are using," says artist Dan Attoe.
I hope that taunt gets under your skin and riles you up. Maybe it will
motivate you to lay claim to all the potential spaciousness and
independence and leeway that are just lying around going to waste.
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
The case for climate change optimism. Is this the year humans finally
got serious about saving themselves from themselves?
http://tinyurl.com/o7ufow5
McDonald's announced that it will stop using eggs from caged hens in
the U.S. and Canada.
http://tinyurl.com/qbta8ky
Mozambique is now free of landmines. The African country has
removed its last known landmine after two decades of work to get rid
of the explosives.
http://tinyurl.com/ntsd7rz
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not
advertisements, and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA
RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning October 1
Copyright 2015 by Rob Brezsny
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The 20th century's most influential artist
may have been Pablo Picasso. He created thousands of paintings, and
was still churning them out when he was 91 years old. A journalist
asked him which one was his favorite. "The next one," he said. I
suggest you adopt a similar attitude in the coming weeks, Libra. What
you did in the past is irrelevant. You should neither depend on nor be
weighed down by anything that has come before. For now, all that
matters are the accomplishments and adventures that lie ahead of
you.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A windbreak is a line of stout trees or
thick bushes that provides shelter from the wind. I think you need a
metaphorical version: someone or something to shield you from a
relentless force that has been putting pressure on you; a buffer zone
or protected haven where you can take refuge from a stressful barrage
that has been hampering your ability to act with clarity and grace. Do
you know what you will have to do to get it? Here's your battle cry: "I
need sanctuary! I deserve sanctuary!"
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Your fellow Sagittarian Walt Disney
accomplished a lot. He was a pioneer in the art of animation and made
movies that won numerous Academy Awards. He built theme parks,
created an entertainment empire, and amassed fantastic wealth. Why
was he so successful? In part because he had high standards, worked
hard, and harbored an obsessive devotion to his quirky vision. If you
aspire to cultivate any of those qualities, now is a favorable time to
raise your mastery to the next level. Disney had one other trait you
might consider working on: He liked to play the game of life by his
own rules. For example, his favorite breakfast was doughnuts dipped
in Scotch whisky. What would be your equivalent?
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): October is Fix the Fundamentals
Month. It will be a favorable time to substitute good habits for bad
habits. You will attract lucky breaks and practical blessings as you
work to transform overwrought compulsions into rigorous passions.
You will thrive as you seek to discover the holy yearning that's hidden
at the root of devitalizing addictions. To get started, instigate free-
wheeling experiments that will propel you out of your sticky rut and in
the direction of a percolating groove.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Have you made your travel plans yet?
Have you plotted your escape? I hope you will hightail it to a festive
playground where some of your inhibitions will shrink, or else journey
to a holy spot where your spiritual yearnings will ripen. What would be
even better is if you made a pilgrimage to a place that satisfied both of
those agendas -- filled up your senses with novel enticements and fed
your hunger for transcendent insights. Off you go, Aquarius! Why
aren't you already on your way? If you can't manage a real getaway in
the near future, please at least stage a jailbreak for your imagination.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Pablo Neruda's *Book of Questions*
consists entirely of 316 questions. It's one of those rare texts that
makes no assertions and draws no conclusions. In this spirit, and in
honor of the sphinx-like phase you're now passing through, I offer you
six pertinent riddles: 1. What is the most important thing you have
never done? 2. How could you play a joke on your fears? 3. Identify
the people in your life who have made you real to yourself. 4. Name a
good old thing you would have to give up in order to get a great new
thing. 5. What's the one feeling you want to feel more than any other
in the next three years?. 6. What inspires you to love?
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PLEASURE IS HOLY?
Assume that your drive to experience pleasure isn't a barrier to your
spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. Proceed on the hypothesis
that cultivating joy can make you a more ethical and compassionate
person. Imagine that feeling good has something important to teach
you every day.
For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED
AUDIO HOROSCOPES. They're four-to-five-minute meditations on the
current state of your destiny.
To listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope online, go to
http://RealAstrology.com.
Register and/or log in through the main page.
You can also listen over the phone by calling 1-877-873-4888.
The cost is $6 per sign on the Web (discounts available for bulk
purchases), or $1.99 per minute by phone.
The Expanded Audio Horoscopes work on most smart phones and
tablets.
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"Your expanded astrology thingees help me remember who I really
am." -Gareth N., Toronto
"I never knew it was possible to get my butt kicked and my head
patted at the same time -- until I listened to you, Rob." -Kristi P.,
Portland, OR
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ARIES (March 21-April 19): The next seven weeks will NOT be a
favorable time to fool around with psychic vampires and charismatic
jerks. I recommend you avoid the following mistakes, as well: failing
to protect the wounded areas of your psyche; demanding perfection
from those you care about; and trying to fulfill questionable desires
that have led you astray in the past. Now I'll name some positive
actions you'd be wise to consider: hunting for skillful healers who can
relieve your angst and aches; favoring the companionship of people
who are empathetic and emotionally intelligent; and getting educated
about how to build the kind of intimacy you can thrive on.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You may have seen websites that offer
practical tips on how to improve your mastery of life's little details.
They tell you how to de-clutter your home, or how to keep baked
goods from going stale, or why you should shop for shoes at night to
get the best fit. I recently come across a humorous site that provides
the opposite: bad life tips. For instance, it suggests that you make job
interviews less stressful by only applying for jobs you don't want. Put
your laptop in cold water to prevent overheating. To save time, brush
your teeth while you eat. In the two sets of examples I've just given,
it's easy to tell the difference between which tips are trustworthy and
which aren't. But in the coming days, you might find it more
challenging to distinguish between the good advice and bad advice
you'll receive. Be very discerning.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): On a windy afternoon last spring I was
walking through a quiet neighborhood in Berkeley. In one yard there
was a garden plot filled with the young green stems of as-yet
unidentifiable plants. Anchored in their midst was a small handwritten
sign. Its message seemed to be directed not at passers-by like me but
at the sprouts themselves. "Grow faster, you little bastards!" the sign
said -- as if the blooming things might be bullied into ripening. I hope
you're smart enough not to make similar demands on yourself and
those you care about, Gemini. It's not even necessary. I suspect that
everything in your life will just naturally grow with vigor in the coming
weeks.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): "I am rooted, but I flow," wrote Virginia
Woolf in her novel *The Waves.* That paradoxical image reminds me
of you right now. You are as grounded as a tree and as fluid as a river.
Your foundation is deep and strong, even as you are resilient in your
ability to adapt to changing circumstances. This is your birthright as a
Cancerian! Enjoy and use the blessings it confers. (P.S. If for some
strange reason you're not experiencing an exquisite version of what
I've described, there must be some obstacle you are mistakenly
tolerating. Get rid of it.)
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Should I offer my congratulations? You have
corralled a gorgeous mess of problems that are more interesting and
provocative than everyone else's. It's unclear how long this odd good
fortune will last, however. So I suggest you act decisively to take
maximum advantage of the opportunities that your dilemmas have
cracked open. If anyone can turn the heartache of misplaced energy
into practical wisdom, you can. If anyone can harness chaos to drum
up new assets, it's you. Is it possible to be both cunning and
conscientious, both strategic and ethical? For you right now, I think it
is.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Let's say you have walked along the same
path or driven down the same road a thousand times. Then, one day,
as you repeat your familiar route, a certain object or scene snags your
attention for the first time. Maybe it's a small fountain or a statue of
the Buddhist goddess Guanyin or a wall with graffiti that says "Crap
happens, but so does magic." It has always been there. You've been
subconsciously aware of it. But at this moment, for unknown reasons,
it finally arrives in your conscious mind. I believe this is an apt
metaphor for your life in the next week. More than once, you will
suddenly tune in to facts, situations, or influences that had previously
been invisible to you. That's a good thing! But it might initially bring a
jolt.
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Homework: Send testimonies about how you've redeemed the dark
side to: Sex Laugh, uaregod@comcast.net.
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2015 Rob Brezsny
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