Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
April 8, 2015
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See a pretty version of this newsletter: http://bit.ly/1F4C84R
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My book *PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA*
is available at Amazon: http://bit.ly/Pronoia
or Powells: http://bit.ly/PronoiaPowells
The e-book is available at http://bit.lyePronoia
Below are excerpts.
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Here are some ways to get more respect:
1. Do your best in every single thing you do -- whether it's
communicating precisely or upholding the highest possible standards at
your job or taking excellent care of yourself.
2. Maintain impeccable levels of integrity in everything you do -- whether
it's being scrupulously honest or thoroughly fair-minded or fiercely kind.
3. On the other hand, don't try so compulsively hard to do your best and
cultivate integrity that you get self-conscious and obstruct the flow of
your natural intelligence.
4. Make it your goal that no later than four years from now you will be
doing what you love to do at least 51 percent of the time.
5. Give other people as much respect as you sincerely believe they
deserve.
6. Give yourself more respect.
7. Others?
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What nourishes you emotionally and spiritually?
I'm not talking about what entertains you or flatters you or takes your
mind off your problems.
I'm referring to the influences that make you stronger and the people who
see you for who you really are and the situations that teach you life-long
lessons.
I mean the beauty that replenishes your psyche and the symbols that
consistently restore your balance and the memories that keep feeding
your ability to rise to each new challenge.
I invite you to take inventory of these precious assets. And then make a
special point of nurturing them back.
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More and more you're attuned to the amusing fact that the rot prepares
the way for the splendor. The chaos becomes the source of the
rejuvenation. The end of the world mutates into the beginning of the
world.
Please accept the thunderous applause of my one hand clapping. The
people who take everything personally and seriously may not recognize
your ingenious work, but we connoisseurs of the liberated imagination do.
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"Reality is frequently inaccurate."
- Douglas Adams
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My book *THE TELEVISIONARY ORACLE* has been reprinted:
http://bit.ly/Televisionary
Here's the Kindle edition: http://amzn.to/1n5uY2u
Read excerpts: http://bit.ly/xhRSxR
Praise for the book:
"I've seen the future of American literature, and its name is Rob Brezsny."
- novelist Tom Robbins
"Like a mutant love-child of Jack Kerouac and Anais Nin, Rob Brezsny
writes with devilish humor, spiritual audacity, and erotic intensity. *The
Televisionary Oracle* is a kick-ass gnostic tale. Prepare to be astonished."
- Jay Kinney, author, *Hidden Wisdom: A Guide to the Western Inner
Traditions*
"*The Televisionary Oracle*'s heroine, Rapunzel, is one of recent
literature's sexiest female protagonists." - *Weekly Alibi*
"*The Televisionary Oracle* is a book so weird it might drive you stark
raving sane." - Robert Anton Wilson
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Hear a song from the soundtrack for *THE TELEVISIONARY ORACLE*:
http://bit.ly/Ae9Pcp
Don't kill your television yet . . .
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
Weapon Of Mass Instruction: Artist Creates A Tank That Delivers Free
Books
http://tinyurl.com/k9grx95
Scientists discover how to change human leukemia cells into harmless
immune cells
http://tinyurl.com/mdpnsrc
A fully transparent solar cell that could make every window and screen a
power source
http://tinyurl.com/knyloo5
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning April 9
Copyright 2015 by Rob Brezsny
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): *Uitwaaien* is a Dutch word that means to go
out for a stroll in windy weather simply because it's exhilarating. I don't
know any language that has parallel terms for running in the rain for the
dizzy joy of it, or dancing through a meadow in the dark because it's such
nonsensical fun, or singing at full volume while riding alone in an elevator
in the mad-happy quest to purge your tension. But in the coming weeks,
you don't need to describe or explain experiences like this; you just need
to do them. Experiment with giving your instinctive need for exuberance
lots of room to play.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Your nasty, nagging little demon isn't nasty or
nagging any more. It's not doing what demons are supposed to do. It's
confused, haggard, and ineffective. I almost feel sorry for the thing. It is
barely even keeping you awake at night, and its ability to motivate you
through fear is at an all-time low. Here's what I suggest: Now, when the
demon's strength is waning and its hold on you is weak, you should break
up with it for good. Perform an ultimate, non-reversible exorcism. Buy it a
one-way bus ticket to the wasteland and say goodbye forever.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): When he was in his fifties, French painter
Claude Monet finally achieved financial success. He used his new riches to
buy a house and land, then hired gardeners to help him make a pond full
of water lilies. For the first time in his life, he began to paint water lilies.
During the next 30 years, they were his obsession and his specialty. He
made them a central feature of 250 canvases, which now serve as one of
his signature contributions to art history. "I planted my water lilies for
pleasure," he said. "I cultivated them without thinking of painting them.
And then suddenly, I had the revelation of the magic of my pond." I
regard the imminent future as a good time for you to do something
similar, Gemini: Create or find a source of beauty that will stimulate your
sense of wonder and fuel your passion to express yourself for a long time.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): "Everything we do in life is based on fear,
especially love," said Cancerian comedian Mel Brooks. Although he was
joking, he was also quite serious. More often than we like to admit,
desperation infects our quest to be cared for. Our decisions about love
may be motivated by a dread of loneliness. We worry about whether we
are worthy of getting the help and support we need. It's a fundamental
human problem, so there's no reason to be ashamed if you have this
tendency yourself. Having said that, I'm happy to report that you now
have the necessary power to overcome this tendency. You will be able to
summon tremendous courage as you revise and refine your relationship
with love. It's time to disappear the fear.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Do you ever feel reverence and awe, Leo? Are
there times when you spontaneously yearn to engage in acts of worship?
Is there anyone or anything that evokes your admiration, humility, and
gratitude? The coming weeks will be a good time to seek out experiences
like these. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you will get
tender jolts of transformational inspiration if you blend yourself with a
sublime force that you trust and respect.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A lot has happened since you were . . . uh . . .
indisposed. You've missed out on several plot twists. The circle has been
broken, repaired, broken again, and partially repaired. Rumors have been
flying, allegiances have been shifting, and riddles have been deepening. So
are you ready yet to return to the heated action? Have you learned as
much as you can from the commotion that provoked your retreat? Don't
try to return too early. Make sure you are at least 70 percent healed.
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WHY IS IT CALLED "FREE WILL" ASTROLOGY?
It's called Free Will Astrology because my goal is to create horoscopes
that nurture your free will!
And if you ever want more than the 'scopes you're reading here, keep in
mind that I also create EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES for you. They're
four-to-five-minute meditations on the current state of your destiny.
Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave
more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out the
EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.
Register and/or sign in at http://RealAstrology.com.
They're available on your tablets and smart phones as well as your
computers.
You can also listen over the phone by calling
1-877-873-4888
The cost is $6 per sign on the Web (discounts available for bulk
purchases), or $1.99 per minute by phone.
"Your expanded horoscopes get more personal and intimate with me than
some of my closest friends. Thanks for the loving reflections."
- Ari S., Ann Arbor, MI
"When I listen to your audio 'scopes, my free will lights up." - Alex D., Los
Angeles
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Rent, but don't buy yet. That's my $250-per-
hour advice. Keep rehearsing, but don't start performing the actual show.
OK? Flirt, but don't fall in love. Can you handle that much impulse
control? Are you strong enough to explore the deeper mysteries of
patience? I swear to you that your burning questions will ultimately be
answered if you don't try to force the answers to arrive according to a
set timetable. I guarantee that you will make the necessary connections
as long as you don't insist that they satisfy every single one of your
criteria.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Guerrilla Girls are a group of prankster
activists who use humor to expose sexism and racism in the art world.
Every so often they take a "weenie count" at New York's Metropolitan
Museum of Art. During their first survey in 1989, they found that five
percent of the artists who had work hanging in the galleries were women,
while 85 percent of the nudes depicted in the paintings were women.
More recently, in 2012, their weenie count revealed that four percent of
the artists were female, but 76 percent of the naked people in the
paintings were female. The coming week would be a good time for you to
take a weenie count in your own sphere, Scorpio. Conditions are more
favorable than usual to call attention to gender disparities, and to initiate
corrective action.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The English term "engine" refers
primarily to a machine that transforms energy into mechanical power. But
its roots are in the Old French word *engin,* which meant skill or wit, and
in the Latin word *ingenium,* defined as "inborn talent." I'd like to borrow
the original meanings to devise your horoscope this week. According to
my reading of the astrological omens, your "engine" is unusually strong
right now, which means that your cultivated skills and innate talents are
functioning at peak levels. I suggest you make intensive use of them to
produce maximum amounts of energy and gather more of the clout you'd
love to wield.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): What I'm about to say is not a hard
scientific fact, but it is a rigorous poetic fable. You don't need to go to
the mountain, because the mountain is willing and able to come to you.
But will it actually come to you? Yes, but only if you meet two conditions.
The mountain will pick itself up and move all the way to where you are if
you make a lot of room for it and if you are prepared to work with the
changes its arrival will bring.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you were a four-year-old, cookies might
be a valuable treasure to you. Given a choice between a bowl of stir-fried
organic vegetables and a plate full of chocolate coconut macaroons,
you'd probably choose the macaroons. For that matter, if you were four
years old and were asked to decide between getting a pile of macaroons
and a free vacation to Bali or an original painting by Matisse or a personal
horoscope reading from the world's greatest astrologer, you'd also opt
for the cookies. But since you're a grownup, your list of priorities is
screwed on straight, right? You would never get distracted by a sugary,
transitory treat that would cause you to ignore a more nourishing and
long-lasting pleasure. Right?
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): On June 23, 1917, Babe Ruth was the
starting pitcher for the Boston Red Sox in a Major League Baseball game
against the Washington Senators. After the first batter drew a walk, Ruth
got upset with the home plate umpire and punched him in the head.
Ejected! Banished! The Babe had to be dragged off the field by the cops.
The new pitcher was Ernie Shore. He proceeded to pitch a perfect game,
allowing no further Washington player to reach base in all nine innings. In
the coming weeks, Pisces, I see you as having the potential to duplicate
Ernie Shore's performance in your own sphere. Coming in as a
replacement, you will excel. Chosen as a substitute, you will outdo the
original.
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Homework: What's the best question you could ask life right now? Tell me
by going to FreeWillAstrology.com and clicking on "Email Rob."
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or in response to "homework assignments" may be
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2015 Rob Brezsny
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