Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
March 25, 2015
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Se a pretty version of this newsletter: http://bit.ly/1CkTXu2
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My book *PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA*
is available at Amazon: http://bit.ly/Pronoia
or Powells: http://bit.ly/PronoiaPowells
or Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/PronoiaBN
The e-book is available at http://bit.ly/eePronoia
Below are excerpts.
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Sometime in the next 24 hours, try saying this to someone (but only if
you really mean it): "Thanks for making my life better."
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You're a gorgeous mystery with a wild heart and a lofty purpose. But like
all of us, you also have a dark side -- a part of your psyche that snarls and
bites, that's unconscious and irrational, that is motivated by ill will or
twisted passions or instinctual fears.
It's your own personal portion of the world's sickness: a mess of
repressed longings, enervating wounds, ignorant delusions, and unripe
powers. You'd prefer to ignore it because it's unflattering or
uncomfortable or very different from what you imagine yourself to be.
If you acknowledge its existence at all (many of us don't), you might call
it the devil, your evil twin, your inner monster, or your personal demon.
Psychologist Carl Jung referred to it as the shadow. He regarded it as the
lead that the authentic alchemists of the Middle Ages sought to
transmute into gold.
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I hope you can obtain the Avatar Elixir stashed in the golden obelisk in the
underground fortress beneath the glass mountain. It will allow you to
produce the "triple-helix" energy that will give you the power to cross
freely back and forth through the gateway between universes.
Then the thunder and lightning will obey your commands. Rivers and
comets will become your allies. Every star in the sky will shine directly on
you. Animals will prove their love again and again. You will always know
the truest words to say.
And if for some reason you're not able to get your hands on that Avatar
Elixir, you may be able to achieve similar results by drinking a bottle of
beer that's currently stashed in the lower left rear section of the
beverage cooler at a convenience store within five miles of your home.
(Magic might be wherever you think it is.)
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Dear Beauty and Truth Lab: After reading your inspiring rants about
pronoia, I've come up with my own personal set of pronoiac vows:
1. I vow to Siamese-twin together my bad-ass, no-hype, wide-eyed self
with my tricky, strategic, puzzle-loving self.
2. I vow to rage on like a dancing warrior in the urban wilderness, keeping
peak experiences and total slaphappy victory at the top of my priority
list, while at the same time I play hide-and-seek with the dark delicious
secrets that fuel my soul's lust for wicked meaning.
3. I vow to deepen the collaborative efforts of my suck-out-the-marrow-
and-spit-out-the-bones craziness and my listen-carefully-to-the-flow-of-
the-underground-river caginess. —Double Intense Pronoiac
Dear Double Intense: If we could give you a reward for your elegant
audacity, it might be a descendant of Muchalinda, the giant cobra with
seven heads that protected the Buddha as he meditated during a
hailstorm.
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"Do you change people first or do you change society? I believe this is a
false dichotomy. You have to change both simultaneously. If you're
changing only yourself and have no concern for changing the society,
something goes awry. If you're changing only society but not changing
yourself, something goes awry.
"Now, 'simultaneously' may be an overstatement, because I think there
are periods when one has to concentrate on one or the other. And there
are periods in a society, in a culture, when the emphasis is appropriate
only on one or the other. What I'm trying to say is, never lose sight of
either the internal world or the external world, the peace within and the
peace based on justice outside."
- David Dellinger
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Are you in quest of an Intimate Ally? A Soul Friend? A Wild Confidante?
Check out Matchmaker.com via Free Will Astrology's link:
http://bit.ly/SoulMatch
Look for a Co-Pilot, Co-Conspirator, or Collaborator . . . an Agent to
represent you or a Disciple to worship you . . . a Secret Sharer who'll
listen better than anyone or an Amazing Accomplice with whom you can
practice the Art of Liberation.
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
Max Dashu runs the fantastic website "Restoring Women to Cultural
Memory: The Suppressed Histories Archive." Check it out at
http://www.suppressedhistories.net/. It's a compendium of stories about
powerful women whose lives and work have been expunged from
patriarchal versions of history.
Now she has created a new video that explores the rich cultural
record of medicine women, seers, oracles, healers, trance-dancers,
shapeshifters, and dreamers, around the world. Here's the trailer:
http://tinyurl.com/mb2dess.
"Depaving Cities, Undamming Rivers: Here's How We're Undoing the
Damage. All around the United States, people are stepping up to help a
damaged planet heal."
http://tinyurl.com/mxtu56q
"A Brief History of Happiness: How America Lost Track of the Good Life -
- and Where to Find It Now. We've been taught that economic growth and
buying more stuff will make us happy -- while we trash the planet. The
good news is, there's a better kind of happy: It starts with meaningful
work, loving relationships, and a thriving natural world."
http://tinyurl.com/o59a7t2
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning March 26
Copyright 2015 by Rob Brezsny
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): The term "jumped the shark" often refers to a
TV show that was once great but gradually grew stale, and then resorted
to implausible plot twists in a desperate attempt to revive its creative
verve. I'm a little worried that you may do the equivalent of jumping the
shark in your own sphere. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I'm not at all worried that
you'll jump the shark. It's true that you did go through a stagnant,
meandering phase there for a short time. But you responded by getting
fierce and fertile rather than stuck and contrived. Am I right? And now
you're on the verge of breaking out in a surge of just-the-right-kind-of-
craziness.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If you happen to be singing lead vocals in an
Ozzy Osbourne cover band, and someone in the audience throws what
you think is a toy rubber animal up on stage, DO NOT rambunctiously bite
its head off to entertain everyone. It most likely won't be a toy, but
rather an actual critter. APRIL FOOL! In fact, it's not likely you'll be
fronting an Ozzy Osbourne cover band any time soon. But I hope you will
avoid having to learn a lesson similar to the one that Ozzy did during a
show back in 1982, when he bit into a real bat -- a small flying mammal
with webbed wings -- thinking it was a toy. Don't make a mistake like
that. What you think is fake or pretend may turn out to be authentic.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the spring of 1754, Benjamin Franklin visited
friends in Maryland. While out riding horses, they spied a small tornado
whirling through a meadow. Although Franklin had written about this
weather phenomenon, he had never seen it. With boyish curiosity, he sped
toward it. At one point, he caught up to it and lashed it with his whip to
see if it would dissipate. This is the kind of adventure I advise you to seek
out, Gemini. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. I don't really believe you should
endanger your safety by engaging in stunts like chasing tornadoes. But I
do think that now is a favorable time to seek out daring exploits that
quench your urge to learn.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Novelist L. Frank Baum created the make-
believe realm known as Oz. Lewis Carroll conjured up Wonderland and C.
S. Lewis invented Narnia. Now you are primed to dream up your own
fantasy land and live there full-time, forever protected from the confusion
and malaise of the profane world. Have fun in your imaginary utopia,
Cancerian! APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. It's true that now would be a good time
to give extra attention to cultivating vivid visions of your perfect life. But
I wouldn't recommend that you live there full-time.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "The national anthem of Hell must be the old
Frank Sinatra song 'I Did It My Way,'" declares Richard Wagner, author of
the book *Christianity for Dummies.* "Selfish pride is Hell's most common
trait," he adds. "Hell's inhabitants have a sense of satisfaction that they
can at least say 'they've been true to themselves.'" Heed this warning,
Leo. Tame your lust for self-expression. APRIL FOOL! I was making a little
joke. The truth is not as simplistic as I implied. I actually think it's
important for you to be able to declare "I did it my way" and "I've been
true to myself." But for best results, do it in ways that aren't selfish,
insensitive, or arrogant.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): No matter what gender you are, it's an
excellent time to get a gig as a stripper. Your instinct for removing your
clothes in entertaining ways is at a peak. Even if you have never been
trained in the art, I bet you'll have an instinctive knack. APRIL FOOL! I lied.
I don't really think you should be a stripper. But I do recommend you
experiment with a more metaphorical version of that art. For instance,
you could expose hidden agendas that are causing distortions and
confusion. You could peel away the layers of deception and propaganda
that hide the naked facts and the beautiful truth.
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YOU NEED MAGIC EVERY DAY
Every day, you have to wade through a relentless surge of soul-less facts.
The experience tends to shut down your sense of wonder.
Every day, you're over-exposed to narratives that have been sucked free
of delight and mystery. That's why you have to make such strenuous
efforts to keep your world enchanted.
I like to think I can contribute to the sacred cause of feeding your sense
of wonder and enchantment. In fact, that's one of my prime motivations
for offering you the free weekly horoscopes you read in this newsletter.
If you ever want more of that good stuff, and think it's worth paying for,
please consider trying out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. They're
four-to-five-minute meditations on the current state of your destiny.
Register and/or sign in at http://RealAstrology.com.
They're available on your tablets and smart phones as well as your
computers.
You can also listen over the phone by calling
1-877-873-4888
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Give yourself obsessively to your most intimate
relationships. Don't bother cleaning your house. Call in sick to your job.
Ignore all your nagging little errands. Now is a time for one task only:
paying maximum attention to those you care about most. Heal any rifts
between you. Work harder to give them what they need. Listen to them
with more empathy than ever before. APRIL FOOL! I went a bit overboard
there. It's true that you're in a phase when big rewards can come from
cultivating and enhancing togetherness. But if you want to serve your
best relationships, you must also take very good care of yourself.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): It's after midnight. You're half-wasted,
cruising around town looking for wicked fun. You stumble upon a
warehouse laboratory where zombie bankers and military scientists are
creating genetically engineered monsters from the DNA of scorpions,
Venus flytraps, and Monsanto executives. You try to get everyone in a
party mood, but all they want to do is extract your DNA and add it to the
monster. APRIL FOOL! Everything I just said was a lie. I doubt you'll
encounter any scenario *that* extreme. But you are at risk for falling into
weird situations that could compromise your mental hygiene. To minimize
that possibility, make sure that the wicked fun you pursue is healthy, sane
wicked fun.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you were a ladybug beetle, you might
be ready and eager to have sex for nine hours straight. If you were a pig,
you'd be capable of enjoying 30-minute orgasms. If you were a dolphin,
you'd seek out erotic encounters not just with other dolphins of both
genders, but also with turtles, seals, and sharks. Since you are merely
human, however, your urges will probably be milder and more containable.
APRIL FOOL! In truth, Sagittarius, I'm not so sure your urges will be milder
and more containable.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): "The past is not only another country
where they do things differently," says writer Theodore Dalrymple, "but
also where one was oneself a different person." With this as your theme,
Capricorn, I invite you to spend a lot of time visiting the Old You in the
Old World. Immerse yourself in that person and that place. Get lost there.
And don't come back until you've relived at least a thousand memories.
APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating. While it is a good time to get
reacquainted with the old days and old ways, I don't recommend that you
get utterly consumed by the past.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Some Aquarian readers have been
complaining. They want me to use more celebrity references in my
horoscopes. They demand fewer metaphors drawn from literature, art,
and science, and more metaphors rooted in gossipy events reported on
by tabloids. "Tell me how Kanye West's recent travails relate to my
personal destiny," wrote one Aquarius. So here's a sop to you kvetchers:
The current planetary omens say it's in your interest to be more like
Taylor Swift and less like Miley Cyrus. Be peppy, shimmery, and breezy,
not earthy, salty, and raucous. APRIL FOOL! In truth, I wouldn't write
about celebrities' antics if you paid me. Besides, for the time being, Miley
Cyrus is a better role model for you than Taylor Swift.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Annie Edson Taylor needed money. She was
63 years old, and didn't have any savings. She came up with a plan: to be
the first person to tuck herself inside a barrel and ride over Niagara Falls.
(This was back in 1901.) She reasoned that her stunt would make her
wealthy as she toured the country speaking about it. I recommend that
you consider out-of-the-box ideas like hers, Pisces. It's an excellent time
to get extra creative in your approach to raising revenue. APRIL FOOL! I
half-lied. It's true that now is a favorable time to be imaginative about
your financial life. But don't try outlandish escapades like hers.
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Homework: Describe what you'd be like if you were the opposite of
yourself. Write Truthrooster@gmail.com.
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2015 Rob Brezsny
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