Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
March 26, 2014
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See a pretty version of this newsletter: http://bit.ly/1dIqqef
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Here's a free sample of SUNBURSTS, my daily text-message horoscopes.
For info on how to order them on a regular basis, go here:
http://bit.ly/Sunbursts
SUNBURSTS for Tuesday, March 25:
ARIES SUNBURST: Forget all about your old mistakes for now. It's useless
to give them any more energy. Try experiments that are totally free of
the past.
TAURUS SUNBURST: As long as you insist on playing with fire, maybe you
should carry the metaphorical equivalent of a fire extinguisher with you.
GEMINI SUNBURST: True love has elaborate, complicated plans for you,
and they may take a while to unfold. Scrap your old romantic agendas.
CANCER SUNBURST: Superficial teamwork would come easy and
accomplish modest results. But if you forge a deeper form of cooperation,
minor miracles could happen.
LEO SUNBURST: Don't give a whole lot of energy to nice theories and
hypothetical situations. Your motto should be "Prove it to me!"
VIRGO SUNBURST: You've done all you can and gone as far as possible
with the status quo. Now it's time to try what others are too timid to try.
LIBRA SUNBURST: Life will present a smorgasbord of choices in the
coming weeks. But I think you should stick to the basics. Don't overdo
the variety.
SCORPIO SUNBURST: You'll have a lot going for you in the coming days if
you cultivate your organizational intelligence. Be imaginative about
creating order.
SAGITTARIUS SUNBURST: You are really going to have to spell it out for
people. Make sure everyone knows exactly what their roles are and what
your role is.
CAPRICORN SUNBURST: The different choices you have before you are
equally solid, but one in particular would bring more pleasure than the
others.
AQUARIUS SUNBURST: Where's the best place to put down deeper roots?
What's the smartest way to enhance your links to community? Think
about your foundation.
PISCES SUNBURST: During the next 6 months, you'll have a chance to
finally succeed at a goal that has always eluded you, especially if you find
new allies.
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My book
*PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA*
is available at Amazon: http://bit.ly/Pronoia
or Powells: http://bit.ly/PronoiaPowells
Here are excerpts:
LETTERS TO THE BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB, Part 1
We who are devoted to pronoia created the Beauty and Truth Lab and
not the Beauty and Truth Think Tank because we want to put our ideas to
the test in the field -- to apply them in unpredictable situations beyond
our control and see whether they're useful to people who aren't
necessarily steeped in the mystique of pronoia.
One way we've gone about that is to encourage the public to testify and
ask questions about their practical experiences with pronoia. Below is Part
1 of a collection of exchanges that have unfolded since we began
discussing pronoiac themes on the BeautyandTruth.com website and in
the weekly astrology newsletter.
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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: I'm a very analytical person, with a
doctorate in nuclear physics and a high-tech job. All my training and
business savvy tell me that Rob Brezsny's astrology column is
superstitious mumbo jumbo, yet every time I've faced a crisis in the last
10 years, his horoscopes have provided accurate wisdom and counsel
when things seemed darkest.
The same is true about the book *Pronoia.* The scientist in me knows
that you Beauty and Truth Lab people are utopian nutcases. It's
absolutely demented to regard the universe as friendly and to fantasize
that there's some vast, invisible conspiracy of blessing-bestowers. And
yet I have to confess that whenever I try the pronoiac strategies you
describe, my life veers in the direction of synchronicity and delight.
On the one hand, none of this makes any sense. On the other hand, I
don't care that it doesn't make any sense. Somehow I'm able to draw
sustenance from something whose power I don't understand or even
believe in. In any case, thank you! - Humble Genius
DEAR HUMBLE GENIUS: You've described a quality that we aspire to in our
efforts to cultivate pronoia: the ability to be helped by powers that are
beyond our understanding.
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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: Does pronoia make you feel like you're
falling in love? Not just with a person but with life itself? And can that be
scary? Is it possible that you might feel a chord of gorgeous terror
resound in your gut when you entertain the thought that every person
and even every animal and plant and rock in the world is ganging up to
make your life interesting -- almost more brilliantly interesting than you
can bear? Does pronoia threaten to cause all perceptions, all sensations,
all interactions to verge on being orgasmic?
I've been heading in this direction lately and it's freaking me out. Can
extreme happiness be dangerous to my well-being? - Butchtastic
DEAR BUTCHTASTIC: First thing we'll say is that while pronoia inevitably
feeds the soul, it doesn't necessarily further the agendas of the ego. The
anxiety that's welling up may be the result of your old self-image clinging
to the shrunken expectations it had gotten used to thinking of as
essential to its identity.
The second thing is that when people invite pronoia to take over their
perceptual filters, they often feel as if they're falling in love with a Scary
Yet Friendly Vastness that kicks their butts until they wake up to the
secret beauty they've been ignoring.
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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: I'm battling mixed emotions. On the one
hand, I have frequent surges of intense compassion that make me want to
build houses for poor folks. On the other hand, I'm beset by flashes of
vanity that make me want to spend my money on Prada shoes and
expensive jewelry rather than on trips to Third World countries to help
Habitat for Humanity. Is it crazy and self-defeating to want both things?
- Torn and Guilty
DEAR TORN AND GUILTY: Try honoring both your urge to express beauty
and your desire to aid your fellow humans. We have a vision of you
wearing a gold tiara and Prada's Sculpted d'Orsay pumps as you wield
your hammer, framing a wall for a new house in Haiti.
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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: In your book *Pronoia,* you say, 'The
universe always gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.'
I have a different view. I often find that I disagree with what the Universe
decides is best for me. But that usually turns out to be a good thing. It's
fun for me to always be arguing with God! I learn a lot and generate a lot
of high energy from trying to outmaneuver the divine will. What do you
think about that? - Cagey Dissident
DEAR CAGEY: Congratulations! You are the thousandth dissident to testify
that pronoia is not, in fact, the One Truth and the Only Way -- thereby
proving to our satisfaction that we have successfully prevented our
beloved Beauty and Truth Lab from being a shill for a fundamentalist
ideology. Please accept our most fantastic thanks. Your prize will be on its
way to you soon!
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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: The chemo treatments burned out all the
math skills in my brain, which were already pretty meager. On the other
hand, they awakened my ability to feel perfectly at ease while in the midst
of paradoxical situations that everyone else finds maddening and
uncomfortable.
The chemo also made me ridiculously tolerant of people's contradictions,
sometimes even their hypocrisies, and freed me to enjoy life as an
entertaining movie with lots of interesting plot twists rather than as a
pitched battle between everything I like and everything I don't like. I
guess I could say that my cancer helped turn me into a pronoiac! - The
Chaos Artist Formerly Known as Risa Kline
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
"Intelligent people are more likely to trust others, while those who score
lower on measures of intelligence are less likely to do so, says a new
study. Researchers say one explanation could be that more intelligent
individuals are better at judging character and so they tend to form
relationships with people who are less likely to betray them."
http://tinyurl.com/kd9bhg6
For public safety, it's a golden age
Crime just keeps falling
http://tinyurl.com/nhwzs6x
Photos of ten amazing rainbows
http://tinyurl.com/ldb6a3s
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning March 27
Copyright 2014 by Rob Brezsny
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): I have coined a new word just for your
horoscope this week. It's "zex," short for "zen sex." Zex is a kind of sex in
which your mind is at rest, empty of all thoughts. You breathe slowly and
calmly, move slowly and calmly, grunt and moan slowly and calmly. You
are completely detached from the sensual pleasure you are experiencing.
You have no goals other than the intention to be free of all goals. Zex is
the ONLY variety of sex I recommend for you right now, Aries. APRIL
FOOL! I lied. Zex may be fine to practice at any other time, but not these
days. The style of sex you need most is exuberant, unbridled, expansive,
and even zany.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In Somalia, there's a law that forbids you from
putting your used chewing gum on your nose and walking around in
public. Fortunately, you don't live there, so it's fine if you want to do
that. In fact, I encourage you to go right ahead. To do so would be right
in alignment with the cosmic omens. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You should
definitely not take yourself too seriously this week; you should look for
opportunities to playfully lose your dignity and razz the status quo. But
there are craftier ways to do that than by sticking gum on your nose.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Tata Massage is a salon in San Francisco that
provides an unusual beauty treatment: face-slapping. The Thai masseuse
named Tata claims to be improving your complexion as she smacks your
cheeks and forehead with her hands. She also does "massage boxing," in
which she administers health-giving punches to your body with her fists.
Is there a comparable service available where you live? I highly
recommend it. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Here's the truth: You should be
absolutely firm that you won't tolerate whacks and wallops -- including
the psychological kind -- even if they are supposedly good for you.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Now would be an excellent time to launch a
new tradition or instigate a fresh trend or make a beautiful thing that will
last for a thousand years. I'm talking about an amazing marvel or useful
innovation or unique creation that will improve the lives of countless
humans all over the planet for the next 40 generations. APRIL FOOL! I was
exaggerating a bit. Producing something that will last a thousand years is
too ambitious. How about if you simply launch a new tradition or instigate
a fresh trend or create a beautiful thing that will last for the rest of your
long life -- an amazing marvel or useful innovation or unique creation that
will continue to teach and amuse you all along the way?
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Your patron saint for the next three months is
surrealistic artist Salvador Dali. Regard him as your muse and role model.
In fact, you might want to spout some of his famous declarations as if
they were your own. Start with these: 1. "The only difference between
me and a madman is that I am not mad." 2. "I do not take drugs; I am
drugs." 3. "Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature." 4. "Have no
fear of perfection. You'll never reach it." APRIL FOOL! I lied. Salvador Dali
is your patron saint, role model, and muse for only the next 14 days, not
three months.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You know how Jesus could supposedly turn
water into wine? Well, St. Brigit, a sixth-century Irish nun, was legendary
for an even greater miracle. When visitors came to her monastery in
Kildare, she changed her old bathwater into beer for them to drink. I think
there's a good chance you will develop that precise talent sometime soon.
APRIL FOOL! I kind of lied. You won't really possess St. Brigit's
supernatural power. However, you will have an uncanny ability to make
transmutations that are almost as dramatic as changing bathwater to
beer.
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YOU'VE ALWAYS GOT MORE HELP AVAILABLE THAN YOU IMAGINE
What do you want to be when you grow up? Is it possible that you will
eventually develop beautiful capacities and sublime understandings that
you can't even imagine right now?
I might be able to help you move in the direction of becoming more of the
person you were born to be.
Tune in to my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES
Find out more at http://RealAstrology.com.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888.
"The best part about your audio horoscopes is that they pat me on the
head and kick me in the ass at the same time." - Rita L., San Diego
"Your audio oracles go beyond helping me find the truth -- they inspire
me to find the WILD truth." - Patrick K., Montreal
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The band Rush was inducted into the Rock and
Roll Hall of Fame last May. Guitarist Alex Lifeson delivered an unusual
acceptance speech. For the two minutes he spoke, he repeated one word
endlessly: "blah." "Blah-blah-blah," he began. "Blah-blah-blah blah-blah
blah-blah." Many hand gestures and shifting vocal inflections accompanied
his rap, always in support of variations on "blah-blah." This is the spirit
you should bring to all of your important conversations in the coming
week. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, the opposite is true. It's crucial for you
to speak very precisely and articulately in the coming week. Say exactly
what you mean. Don't rely on meaningless bull---- like "blah-blah."
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When a human embryo begins to develop in
the womb, the very first body part that appears is -- can you guess? --
the anus. This scientific fact led the witty commentators at QI.com to
declare that "Every human being starts out as an ass----." They were
making a joke, of course, hinting that every one of us has an unattractive
quality or two that make us at least a little bit of a jerk. That's the bad
news, Scorpio. The good news is that you now have an unprecedented
chance to transform the ass---- aspects of your personality. APRIL FOOL!
I lied. You're not an ass----, not even a little bit. But it is true that the
coming weeks will be an excellent time to try to fix or at least modulate
your least attractive qualities.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): To be in strict compliance with cosmic
necessity, you should attend a party every day in the coming week.
Dance ecstatically, make love abundantly, and expose yourself to
previously unknown pleasures. Feast on a wide variety of food and drink
that introduces you to novel tastes. Make sure you experience record
levels of sensual enjoyment, nonstop excitement, and dynamic socializing.
APRIL FOOL! I'm exaggerating, although just a little. Try doing a 70-
percent version of what I advised.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Lifehacker.com has a step-by-step guide
to set up your home as a command center where you can pursue your
plans for world domination. The article provides advice on how to build a
surveillance system, encrypt your computer files, and prepare for black-
outs and weather emergencies. Do it, Capricorn! Get the lowdown at
http://bit.ly/secretlair. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You don't really need to create
a high-tech fortress. But you would be wise to make your home into more
of an ultra-comfortable, super-inspiring sanctuary -- a place where you
feel so safe and strong and smart that you will always have total power
over yourself, and never feel driven to fulfill anyone else's standards of
success but your own.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The planetary omens suggest that you need
to experience all possible flavors of Doritos corn chips. Here's the
problem: The place where you live offers only a limited range. That's why I
urge you to drop everything and travel to Japan, which is the world leader
in Dorito variety. There you can sample coconut curry-flavored Doritos,
along with fried chicken, corn soup, smoked bacon, tuna and mayonnaise,
and many others. Buy your plane ticket now! APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth
is, you will benefit from communing with a wide variety of sensations and
experiences and ideas in many areas of your life, not just Doritos.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): According to a survey by Public Policy Polling,
four percent of the population believes that "shape-shifting reptilian
people control our world by taking on human form and gaining political
power to manipulate our societies." My own research suggests that 62
percent of those believers are Pisceans. Are you one? If so, now is a good
time to intensify your fight against the shape-shifting reptilian people.
APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, I strongly encourage you NOT to feed your
paranoid delusions and fearful reveries. This should be a time when you
bolster your positive fantasies, constructive visions, and inspiring dreams.
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Homework: Describe what you'd be like if you were the opposite of
yourself. Write Freewillastrology.com.
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2014 Rob Brezsny
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