Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
September 4, 2013
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See a pretty version of this newsletter: http://bit.ly/17vCy1K
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Dear Readers:
I suspect that none of us has the capacity to foretell the future of the
human race. No one -- not psychics, not doomsayers, not intelligent
optimists, indigenous shamans, no one.
There is a strong case to be made that this is the worst of times, and an
equally strong case that this is the best of times; a strong case that
everything will collapse into a miserable dystopia and a strong case that
we are on the verge of a golden age.
It's impossible to know in any "objective way" which is "truer." Anyone
who asserts they do know is just cherry-picking evidence that rationalizes
their emotional bent. The variables are chaotic and abundant and beyond
our ken.
In the meantime, I'm doing what I can to create a golden age.
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My book
*PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA*
is available at Amazon: http://bit.ly/Pronoia
or Powells: http://bit.ly/PronoiaPowells
Here's an excerpt:
LETTERS TO THE BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB, Part 2
DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: Can you tell me why my trivial prayers
are often answered (please don't let the light turn red, please let there be
enough milk for one cup of coffee, etc.), but never my big life-changing
prayers (please send me a soul mate, please help me make money at what
I love to do)? Are God's priorities screwed up, or is it me? - Dumb Luck
Collector
Dear DLC: There's an old fairy tale in which two old folks are given three
wishes by a magic dwarf, but impulsively waste them on the first silly
whims that pop into their heads. I'll tell you what I would have told them:
Proceed on the assumption that only a few of your fervent prayers will be
granted. Don't use them up on pleas for convenience when you're tired,
cranky, or desperate. A Tibetan proverb says, "The person who gets
stuck on petty happiness will not attain great happiness."
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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: You must be kidding with your Pollyanna
crap. Either that or you're lying to get gullible people to love you and give
you money.
The truth is, life is not in the least bit kind. It's a brutal struggle for
survival -- at best. We are, sadly, animals who are stuck being conscious
of our own mortality, forever stalked by death, and trying to avoid both
that knowledge and the inevitable appearance of the grim reaper. Wake
up and see the sickness and misery that life on this planet really is. - Your
Good Cheer Makes Me Puke
Dear Puker: It's true that the Beauty and Truth Lab errs on the side of
optimism, but only because so many so-called experts and leaders err on
the side of cynicism. Our calling is to overcompensate for the relentless
propaganda that creates the false impression that ugliness rules the
world.
By the way, when we urge people to more fully appreciate the multitude
of blessings they take for granted, it's not the same as advising them to
pretend there's no suffering in the world.
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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: I recently borrowed a copy of your book
*Pronoia* from my local library. I was attracted to the idea of scribbling
my thoughts and ideas in the book, but I was unsure whether I should
commit this act of flagrant vandalism. Then I noticed the book had been
borrowed at least a half dozen times prior, but nobody had written
anything in it. I was shocked. Clearly they were zombies, or else too (un-
pronoiacally?) reverent to the sacred scrolls to tarnish its beauty.
So, my question is: Would you write, scribble, and doodle in a library
book? —Artillery
Dear Artillery: Did you ever hear the CD called *The Bees Made Honey in
the Lion's Skull*? We're listening to it right now.
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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: I was lying in my bed basking in a
sunbeam this morning, too comfortable to get up and take my Prozac,
when I thought, Hey, what if I'm not, you know, emotionally challenged?
What if I'm just lazy? Maybe if I worked harder at cultivating happiness, I'd
just sort of outgrow my depression -- you know, render it irrelevant. Do
you have an opinion about this theory? - Slothful Slack Seeker
Dear Slothful: We'd have to know more about your personal history to
evaluate whether laziness is the cause of your depression. We do know
this, though: Many people are extremely lax about their pursuit of
happiness. Here's our question to you: What tricks would you have to play
on yourself in order to get more aggressive about mastering the art of
feeling really good?
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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: It's my goal to become a Texas
Congressman 12 years from now and a Senator 20 years from now. I have
a lot of original ideas about how to make the world a better place, and
I've decided that the best way to make them happen is by becoming a
force in national politics. Do you have any advice on how to proceed in a
pronoiac manner? - Pragmatic Idealist Who Doesn't Need to Marry a
Blond, Blue-Eyed Cheerleader with Six-Pack Abs
Dear Pragmatic Idealist: First, you could obtain a piece of the Burning
Bush from the monastery of St. Catherine of Alexandria on Mt. Sinai. Next,
acquire a tooth or finger bone of Mary Magdalene from one of her
reliquaries in southern France. Bring these sacred objects to the
NorthPark Center shopping mall in Dallas during a blow-out sale. While
kneeling in front of the ATM near Neiman Marcus, place a shred of the
bush under your tongue as you stroke the tooth or finger bone and
reverently intone Emily Dickinson's poem "Soul at the White Heat."
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DEAR BEAUTY AND TRUTH LAB: During your shows or workshops or
rituals or whatever you call them, I have heard you refer to "learning the
difference between stupid suffering and smart suffering." I had no idea
what you were talking about until recently.
The truth finally hit me the morning after I climbed into bed with my sort
of ex-boyfriend. He's pretty good at the sex thing, technically speaking,
even though his inability to converse intelligently and honestly about
emotions drives me into the ninth level of the abyss.
Afterward, as I got dressed, feeling that bizarre and oh-so-familiar
disjunction of having had a physical release but being utterly distraught
by the lack of authentic connection between me and the person who
helped incite that orgasm, I suddenly thought, "Wow! This is stupid
suffering. I've done this and done this and done this to death. Stupid
suffering is repeating a lesson I've already learned and been through."
In the next breath I mused, "Maybe smart suffering is what happens when
I'm trying something new, taking a good risk, that will teach me tough
lessons I didn't even realize I needed to learn."
Thanks to you people for planting the seed in my head, and thanks to me
for finally sprouting it. - Smart Sufferer
Dear Smart Sufferer: Don't be too hard on yourself about your "stupid"
suffering -- especially in this case. Your stupid suffering was actually
pretty smart, since it catalyzed in you an insight about avoiding stupid
suffering in the future.
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Did you know that I've created two hours' worth of free, downloadable
music and spoken word pieces? Find it all here: http://bit.ly/15kyX2o
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
"Scientific American" chimes in on the power of pronoiac thinking: "Your
thoughts can release abilities beyond normal limits. Better vision, stronger
muscles—expectations can have surprising effects."
Excerpt:
"Thinking that we are limited is itself a limiting factor. There is
accumulating evidence that suggests that our thoughts are often capable
of extending our cognitive and physical limits."
http://tinyurl.com/pqc4am5
India Bans Animal Testing for Cosmetics, Joining the EU and Israel in
Surpassing the US in Cruelty-Free Cosmetics Testing Policy
http://tinyurl.com/pde38gp
Animals to be banned in Circuses in India
http://tinyurl.com/q4g38fw
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning September 5
Copyright 2013 by Rob Brezsny
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In his "Song of the Open Road," Walt Whitman
wrote some lyrics that I hope will provide you with just the right spark.
Even if you're not embarking on a literal journey along a big wide highway,
my guess is that you are at least going to do the metaphorical equivalent.
"Henceforth I ask not good fortune -- I myself am good fortune," said
Uncle Walt. "Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need
nothing. Strong and content, I travel the open road."
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Mystical poet St. John of the Cross (1542-
1591) was one of Spain's greatest writers. But not all of his work came
easily. When he was 35, a rival religious group imprisoned him for his
mildly heretical ideas. He spent the next nine months in a ten-foot by six-
foot jail cell, where he was starved, beaten, and tortured. It was there
that he composed his most renowned poem, "Spiritual Canticle." Does
that provide you with any inspiration, Libra? I'll make a wild guess and
speculate that maybe you're in a tough situation yourself right now. It's
not even one percent as tough as St. John's, though. If he could squeeze
some brilliance out of his predicament, you can, too.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The American naturalist John Burroughs
(1837-1921) traveled widely and wrote 23 books. "I still find each day
too short for all the thoughts I want to think," he testified, "all the walks I
want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to
see." Let's make that longing for abundance serve as your rallying cry
during the next two weeks, Scorpio. According to my analysis of the
astrological omens, you have a cosmic mandate to push to the limits --
and sometimes beyond -- as you satisfy your quest to be, see, and do
everything you love to be, see, and do.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Punk icon Henry Rollins did an interview
with Marilyn Manson, rock and roll's master of the grotesque. It's on
Youtube. The comments section beneath the video are rife with spite and
bile directed toward Manson, driving one fan to defend her hero. "I love
Marilyn Manson so much that I could puke rainbows," she testified. I think
you will need to tap into that kind of love in the coming days, Sagittarius:
fierce, intense, and devotional, and yet also playful, funny, and
exhilarating. You don't necessarily have to *puke* rainbows, however.
Maybe you could merely spit them.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If you want to know a secret, I talk less
crazy to you Capricorns than I do to the other signs. I tone down my wild-
eyed, goddess-drunk shape-shifting a bit. I rarely exhort you to don an
animal costume and dance with the fairy folk in the woods, and I think the
last time I suggested that you fall in love with an alien, angel, or deity was
. . . never. So what's my problem? Don't you feel taboo urges and illicit
impulses now and then? Isn't it true that like everyone else, you
periodically need to slip away from your habitual grooves and tamper with
the conventional wisdom? Of course you do. Which is why I hereby repeal
my excessive caution. Get out there, Capricorn, and be as uninhibited as
you dare.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Germany's Ostwall Museum displayed a
conceptual installation by the artist Martin Kippenberger. Valued at $1.1
million, it was called "When It Starts Dripping from the Ceiling." Part of it
was composed of a rubber tub that was painted to appear as if it had
once held dirty rainwater. One night while the museum was closed, a new
janitor came in to tidy up the premises. While performing her tasks, she
scrubbed the rubber tub until it was "clean," thereby damaging the art.
Let this be a cautionary tale, Aquarius. It's important for you to
appreciate and learn from the messy stuff in your life -- even admire its
artistry -- and not just assume it all needs to be scoured and disinfected.
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YOU NEED MAGIC
Every day, you have to wade through a relentless surge of soul-less
information. The experience tends to shut down your sense of wonder.
Every day, you're over-exposed to narratives that have been sucked free
of delight and mystery. That's why you have to make strenuous efforts to
keep your world enchanted.
I aspire to contribute to the sacred cause of feeding your sense of
wonder and enchantment. That's one of my main motivations for offering
you my free horoscopes, book excerpts, and music.
If you ever want more of that stuff, and think it's worth paying for, try
out my Expanded Audio Horoscopes. They're four-to-five-minute
meditations on the current state of your destiny.
Go here to access them: http://RealAstrology.com/
You can also listen over the phone by calling
1-877-873-4888
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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In her novel *White Oleander,* Janet Fitch
suggests that beauty is something to be used, "like a hammer or a key."
That's your assignment, Pisces. Find practical ways to make your beauty
work for you. For example, invoke it to help you win friends and influence
people. Put it into action to drum up new opportunities and hunt down
provocative invitations. And don't tell me you possess insufficient beauty
to accomplish these things. I guarantee you that you have more than
enough. To understand why I'm so sure, you may have to shed some ugly
definitions of beauty you've unconsciously absorbed from our warped
culture.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): "No regrets? Really?" asks author Richard
Power. "I have regrets. They are sacred to me. They inform my character.
They bear witness to my evolution. Glimpses of lost love and treasure are
held inside of them; like small beautiful creatures suspended in amber." I
think you can see where this horoscope is going, Aries. I'm going to
suggest you do what Powers advises: "Do not avoid your regrets.
Embrace them. Listen to their stories. Hold them to your heart when you
want to remember the price you paid to become who you truly are." (Find
more by Richard Power here: tinyurl.com/RichardPower.)
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Urbandictionary.com says that the newly
coined word "orgasnom" is what you call the ecstatic feelings you have as
you eat especially delectable food. It's derived, of course, from the word
"orgasm." According to my reading of the astrological omens, you are in
an excellent position to have a number of orgasmic-like breakthroughs in
the coming week. Orgasnoms are certainly among them, but also
orgasaurals, orgasights, and orgasversations -- in other words, deep thrills
resulting from blissful sounds, rapturous visions, and exciting
conversations. I won't be surprised if you also experience several other
kinds of beautiful delirium.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If you were about to run in a long-distance
race, you wouldn't eat a dozen doughnuts. Right? If you were planning to
leave your native land and spend a year living in Ethiopia, you wouldn't
immerse yourself in learning how to speak Chinese in the month before
you departed. Right? In that spirit, I hope you'll be smart about the
preparations you make in the coming weeks. This will be a time to prime
yourself for the adventures in self-expression that will bloom in late
September and the month of October. What is it you want to create at
that time? What would you like to show the world about yourself?
CANCER (June 21-July 22): The Constitution of the United States is the
supreme law of the land. It's the foundation of the most politically
powerful nation on the planet. And yet when it originally went into effect
in 1789, it was only 4,543 words long -- about three times the length of
this horoscope column. The Bill of Rights, enacted in 1791, added a mere
462 words. By contrast, India's Constitution is 117,000 words, more than
20 times longer. If you create a new master plan for yourself in the
coming months, Cancerian -- as I hope you will -- a compact version like
America's will be exactly right. You need diamond-like lucidity, not
sprawling guesswork.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): There are two scientific terms for tickling.
"Knismesis" refers to a soft, feathery touch that may be mildly
pleasurable. It can be used to display adoring tenderness. The heavier,
deeper kind of tickling is called "gargalesis." If playfully applied to
sensitive parts of the anatomy, it can provoke fun and laughter. Given the
current planetary alignments, Leo, I conclude that both of these will be
rich metaphors for you in the coming days. I suggest that you be extra
alert for opportunities to symbolically tickle and be tickled. (P.S. Here's a
useful allegory: If you do the knismesis thing beneath the snout of a great
white shark, you can hypnotize it.)
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Homework: If you could make money from doing exactly what you love to
do, what would it be? Testify at Freewillastrology.com.
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2013 Rob Brezsny
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