Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
March 9, 2011
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For a pretty version of this newsletter: http://bit.ly/eVpV3e
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The revised and expanded version of my book *PRONOIA IS THE
ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA* is available at Amazon: http://bit.ly/Pronoia
and also at Powells: http://bit.ly/PronoiaPowells
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HOW WAS MY GUNSHOT WOUND A BLESSING?
When I was 19 years old, I was shot by a man with a gun. It was on the
Duke University campus in Durham, North Carolina, about 1:30 a.m. on a
night in May. At the time I was walking from my friend's home near the
campus to the Greyhound bus station downtown.
Too bad I couldn't afford a taxi. My backpack was heavy, I was already
sleepy, and the trek was a long one. I had to catch a bus to Philadelphia,
which was scheduled to leave at 2:30.
I had just passed Baldwin Auditorium at the north end of the campus and
was behind the Brown Residence Hall when two strange men stepped out
from behind a van. They were both holding shotguns, and stood less than
twenty feet away. One spoke to me. "Do you know where Baldwin
Auditorium is?" he asked. I was almost frozen with fear, but somehow
managed to turn away from them, preparing to depart in a hurry.
The next thing I knew, I heard a bang, then felt a whoosh of tiny missiles
rushing into my body at the top rear part of my right thigh.
I knew I was in trouble. Would they shoot again? My questionable strategy
was to fall down on the ground and pretend I was dead. I hoped they
would think they had finished me off and see no need to pump me full of
more rounds.
Unfortunately, I collapsed in such a way that I could not see them. I lay
there in a heap, not knowing their next move. Were they coming closer so
as to empty their shotguns into me, or were they fleeing the scene? In
the meantime, I worked hard to act like a dead man, trying to betray no
motion. It was almost impossible to keep from shivering or avoid taking
big deep breaths.
After a few minutes, I couldn't stand the suspense. Were they still
nearby? I pulled up my head and upper body to look around. To my relief,
they seemed to be gone.
I rose to my feet, feeling the excruciating sting in my thigh and seeing the
blood ripple out through my jeans. To my surprise, despite the pain, I was
able to drag myself along the ground. In a few minutes, I had managed to
make my way to the front door of the Brown dormitory, where a security
guard was on 24-hour duty.
"I hate to alarm you," I told her, "but I've just been shot."
She called 911, and soon an ambulance was hauling me away to the
hospital.
With the help of X-rays, my doctor determined that 43 shotgun pellets
had lodged in my flesh. They had narrowly missed a major artery, and my
life wasn't in danger. Still, the doc thought that if he operated to remove
them, he'd risk causing more damage than if he left them in. That's why,
to this day, I'm carrying lots of extra metal in my body.
The recovery time was lengthy. The suffering, even with painkillers, was
extreme. It was months before I could walk right again.
Besides my physical well-being, the other major casualty of the
mysterious shooting was my long-term dream for the future. For months
before the unexpected detour, I had been planning to relocate myself to
Northern California. Working as a janitor in a community center and then
as a post office employee, I had saved up enough money to migrate
across country and start a new life.
But after the assault, I had to bail out of that vision. I was in no condition
to travel, let alone do much of anything else. Besides, I was deeply
depressed and suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I was in
no mood to launch the grand adventure I had been fantasizing about.
Eventually, I recovered from the shock of my wounds, and resumed my
pursuit of destiny. But my life path was forever changed. Being denied my
dream of California at age 19, I was led to numerous adventures on the
East Coast and in Europe.
It would be more than seven years before I got back on track with my
original dream and moved to Northern California. At the age of 27, I finally
arrived in the place that has been my home ever since.
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Fast forward to the present time.
When the original version of my book *Pronoia Is the Antidote for
Paranoia* came out, I did a book tour. Among my stops was Durham,
North Carolina, where my beloved body had received the ghastly delivery
of 43 shotgun pellets.
As I drove into town in my rented car, I was struck by a challenging
question: If I really believed in the ideas I describe in my book, then I
should be able to discern some element of pronoia in my shooting. The
more I thought about it, the more I realized that if I wanted to practice
what I preached, it was my duty to identify the blessings that had come
my way because of the terrible event.
Having a couple of hours free before my appearance at Durham's
Regulator Bookshop, I took myself to the scene of the crime. I drove to
Duke University and sat down in the grass behind Brown dormitory,
exactly where I had been attacked years ago. "What were the pronoaic
blessings that life brought me through the shooting?" I asked the wind
and the trees and the sun.
What they told me would take an entire book to explain in full, so I will
just briefly summarize here.
Because of the shooting and its consequences, including the detours in
my life plans, all these wonderful things happened for me:
1. I met one of my main mentors and friends, who eventually became the
publisher of my books.
2. I met two incredible women with whom I fell in love. They influenced
me in a thousand inspirational ways that still benefit me to this day.
3. I unexpectedly and accidentally started a music career, which has
turned out to be one of the great joys of my life.
4. I spent many years in North Carolina, where I got a deep immersion in
African-American culture -- a transformative experience that has been
essential to my work as a musician, performer, and writer.
5. I traveled extensively in Europe.
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This pivotal series of events in my life helps explain my idiosyncratic
understanding of pronoia: that life is an endless source of blessings
working in unpredictable ways.
This understanding can't be summed up in a few words -- it took me 400
pages in my book -- but you can hear a pithy condensation of the
message in my spoken-word piece, "Shadow Blessings":
http://bit.ly/bk5GXA
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P.S. The pain I experienced in this particular case ultimately delivered
blessings that I could understand and appreciate. But that's not true
about all the pain I've experienced. A lot of my suffering remains
mysterious to me. Why, Lord, why?
If you're interested, the following pieces from my book also address the
issues in "How Was My Gunshot Wound a Blessing":
http://bit.ly/HowPronoia
http://bit.ly/TooSoonToTell
http://bit.ly/DarfurPronoia
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
LOVE IS AT THE ROOT OF THE LONGING FOR JUSTICE
Activism for beginners. How three friends rescued hundreds of Uganda's
child soldiers.
http://tinyurl.com/2d78ore
FLOODS OF INGENUITY JUST KEEP COMING
In the future, your car may be made of mushrooms
http://tinyurl.com/45qpu95
BATHE YOURSELF IN INNOCENT SOUND
Pretty music you've never heard
"We'll dazzle them all -- hold on"
http://tinyurl.com/4bejdmt
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning March 10
Copyright 2011 by Rob Brezsny
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): "Good things may come to those who wait --
but they're mostly just the things left behind by those who hustle and
bustle." That message was in the fortune cookie I got with my Chinese
take-out food tonight. It happens to be a perfect fit for your current
astrological omens, so I'm handing it over to you. In the coming week, I
don't recommend that you sit around patiently and watch how the trends
ripen. I don't think you should bide your time or be cautious in making a
commitment. Be proactive, Pisces -- maybe even gung ho. Carpe the
freaking diem.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): "Dear Mr. Astrologer: Like the god
Prometheus, I stole fire from the gods and gave it to people who
sometimes make awful use of it. As punishment, the gods chained me to
a rock on the beach, and arranged for an eagle to come daily to eat my
liver. Luckily, the liver grows back every night. Unluckily, the eagle always
returns to devour it again. I'm used to it by now; it doesn't hurt as much
as it once did. But I'm still eager to get out of my predicament. Any
suggestions? Aries in Limbo." Dear Aries: Your rescue is scheduled for no
later than your birthday, possibly before. In the meantime, the best thing
you can do to prepare for your release is to feel gratitude for all you've
learned during your ordeal.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Your meditation for this week comes from
writer H. P. Lovecraft. "What a man does for pay is of little significance.
What he is, as a sensitive instrument responsive to the world's beauty, is
everything!" While that's always good counsel, I think it's especially apt
for you right now. You're in a phase of your astrological cycle when you'd
be smart to evaluate your own worth based less on what job you do and
more on who you are. Practice thinking this healing idea: The soulfulness
you embody and express from moment to moment is the single greatest
measure of your success as a human being.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): One of my favorite peculiarities about the
English language is the idiosyncratic words it uses to characterize groups
of specific animals. For example, the correct term for many owls gathered
together is not "flock" but "parliament": a "parliament of owls." Likewise,
we say a "rabble of butterflies," a "prickle of hedgehogs," a "shrewdness
of apes," and a "murder of crows." If I had to come up with a comparable
term for the human members of your tribe, it might be something like a
"zeal of Geminis" or a "charm of Geminis" or a "romp of Geminis" or an
"exaltation of Geminis." All those words capture part of the glory that will
be you, especially for the next few weeks.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): The roots of the lotus are anchored in muck
at the pond's bottom. Its leaves float on the water and its dramatic
flower rises above on a thick stem. It's an evocative plant that is featured
in many ancient myths. For Buddhists, it was an emblem of
enlightenment: beauty ascending from the mud. In India, a thousand-
petaled golden lotus symbolized the miracle of creation. To the Egyptians,
it represented rebirth. Even modern science has contributed to building
the mystique of the lotus, having determined that its seeds can remain
viable for many centuries. It's not a fragile marvel! In the 16th-century
Chinese folk tale "Monkey," a teacher instructed the hero on how to
achieve a long life. "Even amidst fierce flames," he said, "the Golden
Lotus can be planted." For the foreseeable future, Cancerian, the lotus is
your power object.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "Picture a very complicated combination lock, one
that requires dialing up eight different numbers to open," writes Arianna
Huffington. "You have seven of the numbers, but the lock still won't open
until you hit upon that final number. One-eighth may not seem as 'big' as
seven-eighths, but without the final click of the combination, the tumblers
won't fall into place." Sound familiar, Leo? In my astrological opinion, you
have dialed up the first seven numbers but you don't know what the
eighth is yet; until you discover it, the lock will stay closed. Where should
you look for the missing info? It's now within your reach, and it wasn't
before.
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YOU NEED MAGIC EVERY DAY
Every day, you have to wade through a relentless surge of soul-less facts.
The experience tends to shut down your sense of wonder.
Every day, you're over-exposed to narratives that have been sucked free
of delight and mystery. That's why you have to make such strenuous
efforts to keep your world enchanted.
I like to think I can contribute to the sacred cause of feeding your sense
of wonder and enchantment. In fact, that's one of my prime motivations
for offering you the free weekly horoscopes you read in this newsletter.
If you ever want more of that good stuff, and think it's worth paying for,
please consider trying out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. They're
four-to-five-minute meditations on the current state of your destiny.
Go here to access them:
http://RealAstrology.com
You can also listen over the phone by calling
1-877-873-4888
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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the coming week, it's very important that
you stay out of other people's hells -- even if they invite you in with a big
welcome, and even if you're tempted to join them there in their infernos
as a misguided way of proving your love. Be compassionate, Virgo, but
don't be manipulated or foolish. The best thing you can do to help others
is to cultivate your own mental health with ingenuity, trusting in its
radiant power to heal by example.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): "Two paradoxes are better than one," said
physicist Edward Teller. "They may even suggest a solution." I hope this
gives you a glimmer of appreciation for the sparkling contradictions
you're surrounded by, Libra. It would be understandable if up until today
you felt they were crazy-making stressors that served no good purpose.
But now maybe you will be motivated to stand on your head, cross your
eyes, and try to see how the tangy riddles might actually be used to
untangle each other.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Despite the wealth and renown he has
accumulated during his influential career, musician Brian Eno is a big fan of
raw simplicity. Speaking about R&B, soul music, and psychedelia, he said,
"These earlier eras of pop music were characterized not by the search for
perfection but by bizarre enthusiasms, small budgets, erratic technique,
crummy equipment, and wild abandon." Would you consider playing with
that approach in the coming weeks, Scorpio? It's not necessarily
something you should do all the time, but right now I suspect it's a
formula for the most interesting kind of success.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Research Digest Blog asked eminent
psychologists to write about the theme "one nagging thing you still don't
understand about yourself." One expert wondered why he always
overestimates how much work he can get done. Another pondered the
fact that he falls prey to his own irrational biases even though he's well
aware he has them. A third said he can't fathom why it's so easy for him
to learn some things and so hard to learn others. What would your answer
be, Sagittarius? This is an excellent time, astrologically speaking, to see if
you can get to the bottom of a truth about yourself that has always
eluded you. (To read the story, go here:
http://tinyurl.com/DontKnowYet.)
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I suspect that you will either be
spectacularly right or breathtakingly wrong in the coming days. Which
way it goes will all depend on whether you're observing and responding to
the actual events unfolding in front of you or else are more focused on
the images dancing around in your imagination. Of course it's always a
good idea to get your biases and projections out of the way so you can
see life as it really is, but it's especially crucial now. So much is contingent
upon your ability to be acutely perceptive and crisply objective.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In the old fairy tale, the character known as
Rumpelstiltskin had the power to spin straw into gold. That skill has a
metaphorical resemblance to the wizardry you could pull off in the coming
weeks: transforming seemingly ordinary or worthless stuff into a valuable
asset. Although your work might seem a bit miraculous and make some
people wonder if you've used hocus-pocus, the fact is that it may at
times feel tedious or extremely demanding to you. Be gutsy in your
mastery of the intricate details, Aquarius. I'll be thinking of you as the
Gritty Magician.
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HOMEWORK: What do you want to be when you grow up? Testify at
http://www.freewillastrology.com.
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological
colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In our
many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had a major
influence on each other's work.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a high
degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner wisdom.
Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.
Ro's website is at
http://YourSoulJourney.com
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
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P.S. I totally respect your privacy. I'll never sell or give away your address
to anyone.
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2011 Rob Brezsny
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