Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
March 2, 2011
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For a pretty version of this newsletter: http://bit.ly/gQdKhz
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The revised and expanded version of my book *PRONOIA IS THE
ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA* is available at Amazon: http://bit.ly/Pronoia
and also at Powells:
http://bit.ly/PronoiaPowells
Here's an excerpt:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
NEW HOLIDAYS, JUBILEES, & CELEBRATIONS
(To read the entirety of this feature, go here: http://bit.ly/NewHoliday)
I propose that we establish these new holidays as soon as possible.
UNHAPPY HOUR. During this gala bitch fest, celebrants have license to
howl and mutter about everything that hurts their feelings. Having flushed
all their venom in one neat ritual spew, they'll be free to enjoy generous
thoughts and expansive fantasies the rest of the time.
DARE TO BE BORING DAY. We all deserve a break from the oppressive
demands to appear smart and to be entertaining. On Dare to Be Boring
Day, it will be socially unacceptable to demonstrate your wit and verve.
Long-winded, rambling monologues full of obscure details will be
mandatory. The more cliches and buzzwords you use, the better. Tell
worn_out stories your friends have already heard many times. Flesh out
your disjointed sentences with awkward silences. Discuss at length your
plans for switching laundry detergents, the collection of matchbooks you
had as a child, and the time you almost traveled to the Wal-Mart in
another town, but didn't.
BACCHANALIA. During this week-long extravaganza, work and business
will be suspended so that all adults can enjoy se'xual play, whether it be
solo, dyadic, or in groups. To promote acceptance of the holiday, the Fool
Czar will head up a new Federal Bureau of L'ust. Served by advisors drawn
not from the ranks of p'orn stars and scientific sex researchers but from
tantrically trained poets and musicians, the Bureau will sponsor
educational campaigns to help every citizen learn to honor the libido as a
sacred gift from the Goddess.
DO WHAT YOU FEAR FESTIVAL. First, you make a list of the 100 things
you're most afraid of. Next, you rate them from one to 100 in order of
how badly they scare you. Then you agree to stop obsessing about the
bottom 97 fears because they distract you from the three really
interesting ones. Finally, you conquer those three by doing them.
BE YOUR OWN WIFE WEEK. Whether you're male or female or
transgendered, straight or gay or both, you can observe Be Your Own
Wife Week. Here's how. Renounce all your yearnings to be waited on and
cleaned up after. Divest yourself of every last deluded wish that someday
a special person will come along to magically understand and attend to
your every need. Pledge that from now on you will be a connoisseur of
taking care of yourself. (This celebration might immediately follow the
"Marry Yourself" holiday.)
KOYAANISQATSI. In the language of the Hopi Indians, *koyaanisqatsi*
means "crazy life," "life in turmoil," or "life out of balance." It's usually
invoked to describe a culture that's in disarray because of corruption and
lack of vision. I'd like to extend its meaning to identify the chaotic states
that each of us periodically goes through in our personal life. It's a time
when we lose our moorings, when we're out of touch with our moral
center. On the one hand, it's uncomfortable and disorienting. On the
other hand, the brain-scrambling it stirs up is often a blessing. It flushes
out mental habits that no longer serve us. It provokes creative
innovations by rearranging the contents of our psyche. Happy
Koyaanisqatsi!
TO READ THE ENTIRETY OF THIS FEATURE, go here:
http://bit.ly/NewHoliday
Send me your ideas for even more new holidays at
Truthrooster@gmail.com
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
THERE'S MORE INTELLIGENCE IN THE WORLD THAN ANY OF US IMAGINES
The Emotional World of Farmer Animals
http://tinyurl.com/4rb3w7g
LET'S EXPLORE THE SPACE BETWEEN THE CARTOONY EXTREMES
"Possibilianism is a philosophy which rejects both the idiosyncratic claims
of traditional theism and the positions of certainty in atheism in favor of a
middle, exploratory ground."
http://tinyurl.com/4eqxo5r
http://tinyurl.com/4qy58uq
BREAKING THE TABOO AGAINST OPTIMISM
Reasons to be cheerful: Leaders in the business of books reveal what they
are optimistic about
http://tinyurl.com/34laxl4
THE EVIDENCE KEEPS ACCUMULATING
http://pronoiaresources.com/
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning March 3
Copyright 2011 by Rob Brezsny
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): If I were you, Pisces, I'd make *interesting
fun* your meme of the week. According to my reading of the astrological
omens, you will be fully justified in making that your modus operandi and
your raison d'etre. For best results, you should put a priority on pursuing
experiences that both amuse you and captivate your imagination. As you
consider whether to accept any invitation or seize any opportunity, make
sure it will teach you something you don't already know and also
transport you into a positive emotional state that gets your endorphins
flowing.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): "The most fundamental form of human
stupidity is forgetting what we were trying to do in the first place," said
Friedrich Nietzsche. So for instance, if you're the United States
government and you invade and occupy Afghanistan in order to wipe out
al-Qaeda, it's not too bright to continue fighting and dying and spending
obscene amounts of money long after the al-Qaeda presence there has
been eliminated. (There are now fewer than 100 al-Qaeda fighters in that
country: tinyurl.com/forgetwhy.) What's the equivalent in your personal
life, Aries? What noble aspiration propelled you down a winding path that
led to entanglements having nothing to do with your original aspiration?
It's time to correct the mistake.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Carnival season gets into full swing this
weekend and lasts through Mardi Gras next Tuesday night. Wherever you
are, Taurus, I suggest you use this as an excuse to achieve new levels of
mastery in the art of partying. Of all the signs of the zodiac, you're the
one that is most in need of and most deserving of getting immersed in
rowdy festivities that lead to maximum release and relief. To get you in
the right mood, read these thoughts from literary critic Mikhail Bakhtin.
He said a celebration like this is a "temporary liberation from the
prevailing truth and from the established order," and encourages "the
suspension of all hierarchical rank, privileges, norms, and prohibitions."
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): When Bob Dylan first heard the Beatles' *Sgt.
Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band,* he only made it through the first few
tunes. "Turn that s--- off!" he said. "It's too good!" He was afraid his own
creative process might get intimidated, maybe even blocked, if he allowed
himself to listen to the entire masterpiece. I suspect the exact opposite
will be true for you in the coming weeks, Gemini. As you expose yourself
to excellence in your chosen field, you'll feel a growing motivation to
express excellence yourself. The inspiration that will be unleashed in you
by your competitors will trump any of the potentially deflating effects of
your professional jealousy.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Jungian storyteller Clarissa Pinkola Estes says
one of her main influences is the Curanderisma healing tradition from
Mexico and Central America. "In this tradition a story is 'holy,' and it is
used as medicine," she told *Radiance* magazine. "The story is not told
to lift you up, to make you feel better, or to entertain you, although all
those things can be true. The story is meant to take the spirit into a
descent to find something that is lost or missing and to bring it back to
consciousness again." You need stories like this, Cancerian, and you need
them now. It's high time to recover parts of your soul that you have
neglected or misplaced or been separated from.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You've been pretty smart lately, but I think you
could get even smarter. You have spied secrets in the dark, and teased
out answers from unlikely sources, and untangled knots that no one else
has had the patience to mess with -- and yet I suspect there are even
greater glories possible for you. For inspiration, Leo, memorize this haiku-
like poem by Geraldine C. Little: "The white spider / whiter still / in the
lightning's flash."
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LIFE IS BIGGER AND BETTER THAN ANY OF US CAN IMAGINE
In addition to the horoscopes you're reading here, I create more in-depth
audio horoscopes for your inspiration. Find out more at
http://RealAstrology.com.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or
1-900-950-7700.
"Your Expanded Audio Horoscopes provide me with the Rest of the Story.
I'm not necessarily a believer in the scientific accuracy of astrology, but I
do think you've got a lot of practical wisdom to impart."
- M. Tennenbaum, New York
"No one knows more about me than me. But you're right up there near
the top of the list of people who do understand something about how I
tick. How is that possible?"
- R. Goren, Albuquerque
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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I wouldn't try to stop you, Virgo, if you
wanted to go around singing the Stone Roses' song "I Wanna Be Adored."
I wouldn't be embarrassed for you if you turned your head up to the night
sky and serenaded the stars with a chant of "I wanna be adored, I deserve
to be adored, I demand to be adored." And I might even be willing to
predict that your wish will be fulfilled -- on one condition, which is that
you also express your artful adoration for some worthy creature.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): "The difference between the right word and
the almost right word," said Mark Twain, "is the difference between
lightning and the lightning bug." Because the difference between the right
word and the almost right word will be so crucial for you in the coming
days, Libra, I urge you to maintain extra vigilance towards the sounds that
come out of your mouth. But don't be tense and repressed about it.
Loose, graceful vigilance will actually work better. By the way, the
distinction between right and almost right will be equally important in
other areas of your life as well. Be adroitly discerning.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): "Dear Rob: In your horoscopes you often
write about how we Scorpios will encounter interesting opportunities,
invitations to be powerful, and creative breakthroughs. But you rarely
discuss the deceptions, selfish deeds, and ugliness of the human heart
that might be coming our way -- especially in regards to what we are
capable of ourselves. Why do you do this? My main concern is not in
dealing with what's going right, but rather on persevering through
difficulty. - Scorpio in the Shadows." Dear Scorpio: You have more than
enough influences in your life that encourage you to be fascinated with
darkness. I may be the only one that's committed to helping you cultivate
the more undeveloped side of your soul: the part that thrives on beauty
and goodness and joy.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Acupuncturists identify an energetic
point in the ear called the spirit gate. If it's stuck closed, the spirit is
locked in; if it's stuck open, the spirit is always coming and going, restless
and unsettled. What's ideal, of course, is that the spirit gate is not stuck
in any position. Then the spirit can come and go as it needs to, and also
have the option of retreating and protecting itself. I'd like you to imagine
that right now a skilled acupuncturist is inserting a needle in the top of
your left ear, where it will remain for about 20 minutes. In the meantime,
visualize your spirit gate being in that state of harmonious health I
described.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In his parody music video, "Sickest
Buddhist," comedian Arj Barker invokes a hip hop sensibility as he brags
about his spiritual prowess. Noting how skilled he is when it comes to
mastering his teacher's instructions, he says, "The instructor just told us
to do a 45-minute meditation / but I nailed it in 10." I expect you will
have a similar facility in the coming week, Capricorn: Tasks that might be
challenging for others may seem like child's play to you. I bet you'll be
able to sort quickly through complications that might normally take days
to untangle. (See the NSFW video here: tinyurl.com/illBuddhist.)
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The sixth astronaut to walk on the moon
was engineer Edgar Mitchell. He asserts that extraterrestrials have visited
Earth and that governments are covering up that fact. The second
astronaut to do a moonwalk was engineer Buzz Aldrin. He says that there
is unquestionably an artificial structure built on Phobos, a moon of Mars.
Some scientists dispute the claims of these experts, insisting that aliens
are myths. Who should we believe? Personally, I lean towards Mitchell and
Aldrin. Having been raised by an engineer father, I know how unlikely it is
for people with that mindset to make extraordinary claims. If you have to
choose between competing authorities any time soon, Aquarius, I
recommend that like me, you opt for the smart mavericks instead of the
smart purveyors of conventional wisdom.
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HOMEWORK: What is the best gift you could give your best friend right
now? Testify at http://FreeWillAstrology.com.
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological
colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In our
many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had a major
influence on each other's work.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a high
degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner wisdom.
Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.
Ro's website is at
http://YourSoulJourney.com
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2011 Rob Brezsny
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