Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
April 7, 2010
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Main website: http://FreeWillAstrology.com
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There's a new release from the soundtrack for my book
*PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA.*
It's called "Beauty and Truth Lab." You can access it here:
http://bit.ly/TruthLab
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The revised and expanded version of my book
*PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA*
is available at Amazon: http://bit.ly/Pronoia
and also at Powells:
http://bit.ly/PronoiaPowells
Here's an excerpt:
I HAVE A DREAM
I have a dream that in the New Earth, there will be a new Bill of Rights.
The first amendment will be, "Your daily wage is directly tied to the
beauty and truth and love you provide."
I have a dream that in the New Earth, childbirth will be broadcast on prime
time TV every single night.
I have a dream that the New Earth will have rapturists, and they'll vastly
outnumber the terrorists. The rapturists will be performance artists with a
conscience . . . charismatic improvisers who love to spring fun surprises.
They'll commit unexpected interventions and unscheduled spectacles that
delight hordes of strangers.
I have a dream that in the New Earth, we will add an eleventh
commandment to the standard ten: Thou shalt not bore God.
I have a dream of a week-long annual holiday called the Bacchanalia. Work
and business will be suspended so that all adults can explore their ripe
mojo with frothy erotic experiments. Tenderly orgiastic marathons will
rage unabated. Reverential ecstasy and grateful generosity will rule.
I have a dream that when anchormen report tragedies on their nightly TV
shows, they'll break down and cry and let their emotions show. No more
poker faces.
*
In the New Earth, you'll be a fascinating enigma worthy of a best-selling
unauthorized biography and I'll be an inscrutable genius whose every
move is packed with symbolic meaning -- and vice versa. That will be the
law in the New Earth -- far different from the Old Earth, where
schadenfreude is epidemic and your distinctive flair is supposed to make
me feel worshipful or diminished.
*
I have a dream that in the New Earth, the word "a**hole" will be a term of
endearment rather than abuse. Plutocracy will be a felony. April Fool's Day
will come once a month. There'll be scientific horoscopes and mystical
logic. Every one of us will have at least one imaginary friend. Compassion
will be an aphrodisiac.
In the New Earth, we'll launch an affirmative action program that
ultimately makes most of us celebrities. Buddhist real estate developers
will build a chain of sacred shopping centers in the heartland. The CEOs of
the Fortune 500 companies will be required by law to enjoy once-a-week
sessions with Jungian psychotherapists. Pioneers in artificial intelligence
research will develop computers that can talk to God.
In the New Earth, same-sex marriages will be fully sanctioned, of course.
But why stop there? We'll also legalize wedding bonds among
threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, and large groups of people who are in
love with each other. I have a dream that we will expand the meaning of
love beyond anything our ancestors imagined.
*
In the New Earth, our children will study singing and dancing and
meditation and dream work with as much diligence as they now devote to
math and science. They'll learn to see with their own eyes and think with
their own minds and feel with their own hearts, studying those subjects
as intently as they do spelling and grammar and social studies. Beginning
in seventh grade, they'll get lessons in the art of creating successful
intimate relationships. And we'll teach them why it's only fair that for the
next 3,000 years we use "her" for the generic singular pronoun instead of
"him."
*
I have a dream that we will take everything we need and give everything
we have. We'll be both selfish altruists and generous braggarts, libertarian
socialists and capitalist humanitarians. That'll be the law in the New Earth
-- different from the Old Earth, where you can blindly serve your own
interests or devote yourself to the needs of others, but not both.
*
I have a dream that in the New Earth, Oprah Winfrey will buy up all the
Pizza Huts on the planet and convert them into a global network of
menstrual huts, where for a few days each month, every one of us, men
and women alike, can resign from the crazy-making 9-5 -- drop out and
slow down, break trance and dive down into eternal time.
We will sleep nine hours every night as we practice our lucid dreams . . .
sing love songs from the future while soaking in steamy herb baths . . .
feast on chocolate as we converse with the little voices in our heads . . .
research the distinctions between stupid, boring pain and smart,
fascinating pain until we finally get it right . . . wear magic underwear
made from eagle feathers, spider webs, and 100-year-old moss . . . and
conjure up bigger, better, more original sins and wilder, wetter, more
interesting problems.
*
In the New Earth, you'll kick your own ass and I'll wash my own brain. I'll
be my own parent and you'll be your own wife. And vice versa. That'll be
normal in the New Earth -- different from the Old Earth, where everyone
except me is to blame for my ignorance and you call on everyone except
yourself to give you what you need.
I'll push my own buttons and right my own wrongs. You'll wake yourself
up and sing your own songs.
*
I'm the president now . . . and so are you. I am the Supreme Commander
of the United Snakes of the Blooming HaHa . . . and so are you. And what
we proclaim is that in the New Earth, we will love our neighbors as
ourselves, even if our neighbors are jerks. We will never divide the world
into us against them. We will search for the divine spark even in the
people we most despise, and we will never dehumanize anyone, even
those who dehumanize us.
I have a dream that sooner or later every one of us will become a
well_rounded, highly skilled, incredibly rich master of rowdy bliss -- with
lots of leisure time and an orgiastic feminist conscience.
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
YOU ARE ALMOST CERTAINLY UNDERESTIMATING YOUR BLESSINGS
Who are the luckiest people who have ever been born in the history of
civilization?
http://tinyurl.com/yglvskm
THERE ARE MANY HEROES YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF
Man with special blood type saves 2 million babies
http://tinyurl.com/ydok77j
KEEP TRACK OF WHAT'S IMPROVING
The crime rate just keeps falling and falling
http://tinyurl.com/ydwmfnf
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning April 8
Copyright 2010 by Rob Brezsny
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): It would be a good week for you to perfect
your ability to crow like a rooster, Aries. I also recommend that you
practice your skill at leaping out of bed in the morning fully refreshed,
with your imagination primed and ready to immediately begin making
creative moves. Other suggested exercises: being on the alert for what's
being born; holding a vision of the dawn in your heart throughout the day;
and humorously strutting around like you own whatever place you're in.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I got a spam email containing supposed words
of wisdom from the Dalai Lama. "We spend more, but have less," it said.
"We have more conveniences, but less time; more experts, yet more
problems." It went on like this for a while. I was suspicious. It seemed to
contain too many pop platitudes to have been uttered by the Dalai Lama.
With Google's help, I did some research and discovered that the passage
was actually the handiwork of pastor Bob Moorehead, who resigned from
his Seattle church under a cloud of allegations about misconduct. I urge
you to make similar investigations of the ostensible truths you receive
this week, Taurus. You may find discrepancies as major as the differences
between the Dalai Lama and Bob Moorehead.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A life-long dream of mine came true recently,
and I didn't even know it was a life-long dream until it happened. It struck
unexpectedly on a Tuesday afternoon. My daughter called on the phone
from her college dorm room, wanting to discuss an essay she'd been
assigned for her History of Modern Art class. She really liked it, but there
were some points she wanted to understand better, and she thought my
input might help. The essay? The "Surrealistic Manifesto," formulated in
1924 by the writer André Breton. Years ago, it was a crucial document in
my own development as a young poet. The opportunity to share its heady
brew with the beloved child I used to push on a swing was startlingly
blissful. I predict a similar event for you in the coming days, Gemini: the
fruition of a life-long dream you didn't even know you had.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): It's probably true for a lot of celebrities that
their public personas are not accurate reflections of their private lives.
One striking example is actress Megan Fox, who's famous for being a sex
goddess. But the fact is, she told *Harper's Bazaar* magazine, she has
only slept with two men in her life, and it makes her ill to even
contemplate having sex with someone she doesn't love. While it may not
bother her to have a reputation that's so different from her inner world, I
wouldn't say the same about you -- especially now. I urge you to do what
you can to create more harmony between the version of yourself that
you project outward and the version of yourself you actually live in.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In her poem "The Gift," Chinese poet Shu Ting
writes, "I dream the dream of a pond who lives not just to mirror the sky
but to let willow trees on the bank drink me up." This would be an
excellent dream for you to dream in the coming week, Leo. It would also
be empowering for you to render its themes in your waking life. I think
you will derive great pleasure and sound teaching from mirroring a soaring
archetype and feeding an intimate primal force. (Shu Ting's poem was
translated by Tony Barnstone and Newton Liu.)
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Are you an athlete? If so, I suspect that you
will soon make an adjustment in your training or technique that will
improve your game. Are you an artist, musician, writer, performer, or
dancer? I bet you will get a sweet insight about the creative process that
could revolutionize your work in the months to come. Are you a pilgrim on
a meandering long-distance quest to a promised land whose location
you're not exactly sure of? Any minute now, you'll uncover a clue that will
dramatically narrow down the possibilities of where the promised land is.
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YOU NEED MAGIC EVERY DAY
Every day, you have to wade through a relentless surge of soul-less facts.
The experience tends to shut down your sense of wonder.
Every day, you're over-exposed to narratives that have been sucked free
of delight and mystery. That's why you have to make such strenuous
efforts to keep your world enchanted.
I like to think I can contribute to the sacred cause of feeding your sense
of wonder and enchantment. In fact, that's one of my prime motivations
for offering you the free weekly horoscopes you read in this newsletter.
If you ever want more of that good stuff, and think it's worth paying for,
please consider trying out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. They're
four-to-five-minute meditations on the current state of your destiny.
Go here to access them:
http://RealAstrology.com
You can also listen over the phone by calling
1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): There may be times in the coming week when
you will in a sense be dreaming while standing up. On other occasions, you
may be hard at work while lying down. In fact, I suspect that the law of
reversals will be in full bloom. Things that have been last will, at least
temporarily, be first, and influences that have calmed you down will rile
you up. What has been crazy may be quite sane, and what has been in the
shadows will come into the light. Tight squeezes may turn into expansive
releases and heavy-duty commitments will get a dose of slack -- and vice
versa. Always vice versa.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Every one of us is engaged in some ongoing
battle with ourselves. Maybe there's a conflict between our heart and
head. Maybe we're trying to stop expressing some behavior that we know
is self-destructive but seems all too natural and easy to do. Maybe we feel
guilty about or resentful toward some event from the past, and are
constantly fighting with its after-image. Whatever your version of the civil
war might be, Scorpio, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to
reduce the heat of the strife. But you'll have to be ingenious as you
reframe the way you think about the situation, and you'll have to locate a
reservoir of willpower that has been hidden in your depths.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): This would be an excellent time for you
to take inventory of what brings you pleasure. According to my reading of
the astrological omens, you're due for an update and upgrade. Some of
your tried-and-true strategies for generating joys and thrills are fraying at
the edges. You should consider refurbishing them, even as you also think
about going in quest of fresh sources of delight. For extra credit, see if
you can gain access to an experience that could accurately be described
as "a blessed state of bliss."
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): It would be smart for you to whet your
appetite, but please don't go too far and spoil your appetite. Imagine and
plan for the feast to come; make sure the evolution of the feast is on
track; but don't try to actually enjoy the entire feast yet. It's not ready,
you see. The "cooking" isn't complete. To dive in now would be like eating
a chocolate cake that has only been baking in the oven for ten minutes. In
conclusion, Capricorn, strike a balance between practicing watchful
patience and cultivating protective excitement.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your key word for the week is "fulcrum."
It's derived from a Latin verb meaning "to prop up, support," and its
definitions include the following: 1. the stable point on which a lever
pivots; 2. the crux of a percussionist's grip as he or she holds a
drumstick; 3. an agent through which vital powers are exercised. I
suggest you meditate on where the metaphorical fulcrums are in your life,
and then take creative measures to give them extra care and enhance
their strength.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I'm wearing a replica of an ancient Egyptian
*atef,* a white crown surmounted by two ostrich feathers. My white
cashmere robe, decorated with Qabalistic sigils, was sewn for me by a
Wiccan priestess. My wand is shaped like the head of a Kalao bird and
once belonged to a shaman from Burkina Faso. Aided by these
accessories, I gaze into my magic mirror and conjure the spirit of my
deceased great-uncle Felix, a successful businessman born under the sign
of Pisces. He has always been a reliable source of inside info for me in the
past. "Dear ancestor," I murmur, "do you have an oracular revelation for
my Piscean readers?" And he replies: "Tell them their money mojo is
stronger than usual. Urge them to bargain aggressively and make sure
they get a percentage of the gross, not just of the net profits."
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HOMEWORK: What's the one thing you know you should do but have
never done? Testify by going to http://FreeWillAstrology.com and
clicking on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological
colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In our
many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had a major
influence on each other's work.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a high
degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner wisdom.
Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.
Ro's website is at
http://YourSoulJourney.com
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
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P.S. I totally respect your privacy. I'll never sell or give away your address
to anyone.
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or in response to "homework assignments" may be
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Please be sure to note your preference when sending to us. We
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2010 Rob Brezsny
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