Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
June 11, 2008
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http://FreeWillAstrology.com
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"The Hindu teacher Swami Muktananda was once asked why he didn't
work miracles. He replied, 'I have no need to work miracles. The circulation
of blood through my body is enough.'"
- Wes Nisker, *The Essential Crazy Wisdom*
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My book
*PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings*
is available for sale at http://tinyurl.com/qaj62
Here's an excerpt:
Welcome to the PRONOIA NEWS NETWORK. Here's the news.
The world has become dramatically more peaceful since 1992, according
to the non-partisan Human Security Report. Wars, coup d'etats, and acts
of genocide have declined by 40 percent. Weapons sales have dropped
33 percent during the same time, and the number of refugees has
decreased by 45 percent.
The cause of these developments is the unprecedented upsurge of
international activism since the end of the Cold War, spearheaded by the
United Nations.
Elsewhere, life extension researchers now believe that there is no absolute
limit to the human life span. The average life expectancy is 30 years more
than it was a century ago, and is steadily climbing.
Literacy and education levels are rising steadily all over the globe. Since
1970, the percentage of students going to secondary school has more
than doubled.
The World Health Organization reports that in the next 24 hours, 200
million people will make love on this planet, as they do every day of every
year. Experts estimate that the orgasmic energy generated during a single
rotation of the planet could, if harnessed, provide enough power to light a
medium-sized city for a month.
Briefly, here's a look at the rest of the top stories.
Accelerating rates of intermarriage are helping to dissipate ethnic and
religious strife worldwide.
Acreage devoted to organic farming is rapidly increasing.
Death rates from cancer are shrinking.
Child abduction by strangers has dropped precipitously.
In 60 years, there hasn't been a lower birth rate among teenage girls than
there is now.
The number of America's black elected officials has sextupled since 1970.
In recent years, the rivers and bays of New York City have been almost
completely cleansed of raw sewage and industrial pollution.
Vast supplies of frozen natural gas lie beneath the oceans, harboring
more potential energy for human use than all of the world's oil reserves,
and could be mined with the right technology.
If forced to decide between having a bigger penis and living in a world
where there was no war, 90 percent of all men would pick universal
peace.
You have at least a million relatives as close as tenth cousin, and no one
on Earth is any farther removed than your 50th cousin.
The world's largest private bank, Citigroup, has agreed to stop financing
projects that damage sensitive ecosystems.
The giant timber company, Congolaise Industrielle des Bois, voluntarily
agreed to stop cutting down trees in a virgin rain forest in the Congo.
Every second the sun generously transforms four million tons of itself into
energy and bestows it on us free of charge.
With every dawn, when first light penetrates the sea, many seahorse
colonies perform a dance to the sun.
Most HMO executives now believe prayer and meditation can expedite the
healing process.
Each of the 50 trillion cells in your body can be considered a sentient
being in its own right, and they all act together as a community,
performing an ongoing act of prodigious collaboration.
A survey of a thousand poets suggests that the five most beautiful words
in the English language are "epiphany," "undulates," "luminous,"
"crucible," and "melody."
Finally in the news, biologists have proved that with each breath, you take
into your body 10 sextillion atoms, and—owing to the wind's ceaseless
circulation—over a year's time you have intimate relations with oxygen
molecules that have been exhaled by everyone who has ever lived,
including Joan of Arc, Gengis Khan, Cleopatra, and Malcolm X.
You have been tuned to PNN, the Pronoia News Network. Our report has
been brought to you by the state of mind that the poet John Keats
enjoyed when he said, "If something is not beautiful, it is probably not
true."
For 1,109 more items of good news, read the book.
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To read news and features from my book, go here:
http://tinyurl.com/lhwx2
You can buy the book here:
AMAZON
http://tinyurl.com/qaj62
POWELLS
http://tinyurl.com/3dsx6q
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OTHER PRONOIA RESOURCES:
THE SCIENCE AND ART OF FEELING GOOD
8 Ways to be Happy Right Now
http://tinyurl.com/4c5yzs
DON'T JUST MOURN, GET TO WORK!
"The Top Ten Solutions to the World's Biggest Problems" by Ronald Bailey
http://tinyurl.com/55c527
http://tinyurl.com/5oz29a
COMPASSIONATELY OVERTHROW THE STATUS QUO
"The New Activism"
http://tinyurl.com/6jg72z
"Activism used to be all about what was wrong. Now, from executive
suites to department stores, 'new activists' are showing us how to get
things right."
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning June 12
Copyright 2008 by Rob Brezsny
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): "The best time for me is when I don't have any
problems that I can't buy my way out of," said Andy Warhol. If that
formulation is true, you're going to have a light warm breeze of a week,
Gemini -- a time so smooth and easy and free you may wonder if the gods
made a mistake and bestowed the sublime karma of some beatific saint
on you. Here's my prediction: The only problems you'll have will be those
you can buy your way out of. And they won't even be very expensive.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the film *War Games,* a hacker taps in to a
remote mainframe and begins to play a game he finds there. As it turns
out, the mainframe is an artificially intelligent supercomputer that serves
as hub of operations for the U.S. Air Force, and the game has real-world
consequences. The hacker inadvertently triggers a cascade of events that
could launch an actual global conflagration. After many scary plot turns,
the danger of disaster dissipates when the supercomputer makes a
momentous decision: The only way to win the game is to not play it. That
approach could work well for you, my fellow Crab. The game you're
playing is nowhere near as dangerous as the one in *War Games,* of
course, but why not play to win?
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): ButlersGuild.com named Mr. Ravi Shankar as its
Butler of the Year. Serving as Head Butler of the Qasr Al Sharq hotel in
Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, Shankar "always acts with complete integrity in
everything he does." Your simple yet arduous assignment, Leo, is to be
worthy of that same description. Are you up to the challenge? Can you be
morally and ethically impeccable, between now and noon on June 18, in
every single thing you do and say and think? Do you have the willpower to
be absolutely free of hypocrisies, deceits, and manipulations? Can you
refrain from speaking derisive or careless words about anyone, while at
the same time being rigorously authentic and intent on telling the deepest
truths?
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "The job of the newspaper is to comfort the
afflicted and afflict the comfortable," said journalist Finley Peter Dunne. In
that spirit, Virgo, here are your assignments for the coming week: 1.
Critique and question and agitate the parts of yourself that are
complacent or addicted to convenience. 2. Give help, sympathy, and
encouragement to the parts of yourself that are off-center or out-of-
focus. 3. Shake up the static, habit-entranced situations you see around
you. 4. Be generous and creative with those who are suffering.
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LISTEN TO AN EXPANDED HOROSCOPE
In addition to the horoscopes that come to you in this newsletter, I create
more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. I think of them as
my love letters to you. They're $6 if you access them on the Web, or
$1.99 per minute over the phone.
Try them at http://RealAstrology.com.
They're available by phone at 1-877-873-4888
or 1-900-950-7700.
"Your audio horoscopes help me love myself better, and I mean that in a
non-narcissistic way."
-Deva P., Indianapolis
"I'm really grateful for the way you pick up my telepathic requests and
answer them in your expanded audio 'scopes."
-Marion H., Birmingham, AL
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): "I've been all over the world and have lived
among every kind of culture," wrote Dan Liebert on mcsweeneys.net,
"and I can say, without any hesitation, that the most ignorant, rude,
selfish, and self-centered people on Earth are babies." I agree with him,
though I've got to add that it's senseless to get mad at babies for being
such jerks. Their brains simply aren't sufficiently well-developed to be any
different. This line of thought can be applied to a whole range of bad
behavior by people who have technically reached adulthood: They engage
in ill-advised actions not out of evil intent but because they're emotionally
immature. Keep that in mind as you deal with anyone who's doing
unreasonable things. Be the composed adult who's in charge of leading
the big babies.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Danny Anderson was out feeding his horses
in Prosser, Washington when a rattlesnake slithered into the barn.
Anderson took a shovel and decapitated it. The dangerous creature was
neutralized, right? Not quite. When Anderson reached down to pick up
the severed head a few minutes later, it pulled off a nightmarish move
seen only in horror films: It came back to life just long enough to bite him.
Luckily, Anderson was fine after a trip to the hospital to receive anti-
venom treatment. The metaphorical moral of the story, as far as you
Scorpios are concerned: When your brave efforts finally eliminate a threat,
don't let down your guard or get overconfident. Be absolutely positively
sure that it's really gone.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You really have no right to tear yourself
down. Badmouthing yourself is a first-degree sin, and so is being mean to
yourself or depriving yourself of the care you need to thrive. This is
always true, of course, but in the coming week it's more crucial than ever
that you refrain from even the subtlest forms of self-abuse. To be
anything less than an imaginative lover and nurturer toward yourself could
upset the cosmic equilibrium so profoundly that everyone else would
suffer, too. Therefore, you owe it to the rest of us to shower yourself
with blessings.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Pumice, which is created by volcanic
eruptions, is filled with holes, which means that it's sometimes light
enough to glide on the surface of a body of water. I urge you to use this
floatable rock as a metaphor. Think of the heaviest burden you're carrying
-- an apparently insoluble problem, a thankless responsibility, a task that
seems impossible -- and imagine over the next few days that it is
changing into a hunk of pumice. When the transformation is complete,
visualize yourself throwing it into a fast-flowing river, and then watch as it
gets carried away, ultimately turning into a tiny, bobbing speck that
disappears over the horizon.
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LISTEN TO AN EXPANDED HOROSCOPE
In addition to the horoscopes that you're reading here, I create more in-
depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. Find out more at
http://RealAstrology.com.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or
1-900-950-7700.
"The best part about your audio horoscopes is that they pat me on the
head and kick me in the ass at the same time." - Rita L., San Diego
"Your audio oracles go beyond helping me find the truth -- they inspire
me to find the WILD truth." - Patrick K., Montreal
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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In his song "Bird on a Wire," Leonard Cohen
says, "Like a bird on a wire / Like a drunk in a midnight choir / I have tried
in my way to be free." Your assignment, Aquarius, is to wail, moan, or
croon your own personal version of that song. Here's how I suggest you
proceed. First, identify specific actions you've taken to advance your
quest for liberation. Include even the modest accomplishments and
goofball attempts. Second, imagine the strategies you'll pursue in the
future to get more leeway and latitude for yourself. You might want to
start by purging your mind of beliefs that place unwarranted limitations
on you. Now start singing!
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): It's an ideal time to stir up fresh insights
about important people whose charms you've grown numb to . . . to
mutate your perspectives about situations you've become overly familiar
with . . . to come up with revised interpretations for past events about
which new information has emerged. To get in the right frame of mind,
study these novel definitions of common words, supplied by readers of
*The Washington Post* in response to a contest. Airstrip: to pretend to
take off your clothes. Algebra: lingerie worn by mermaids. Blunderbuss: to
French-kiss your boss's wife at the office Christmas party. Bumbling: butt
cheek piercings. Fulcrum: a supermodel's big meal. Flagellation: beating on
your political opponent by questioning his patriotism.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): "Successful representations of reality become
more important than the reality they represent," writes W. Daniel Hillis at
The World Question Center (tinyurl.com/ywth3). Examples: paper money
supersedes gold; a painting has more value than the landscape it depicts;
the status that an achievement brings begins to overshadow the
achievement. The coming days are an excellent time for you to
contemplate how this phenomenon might be in play in your life, and
whether it's causing any distortions you need to correct. Start with this
meditation: Is there any way in which you've become so focused on the
map that you have neglected the territory?
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): While driving in suburbia, I saw a sign in the
yard of a home whose grounds were being renovated. It was an ad for the
landscaping company that was doing the work. "Mesmerize visitors with
your garden," it read. Judging from your astrological omens, Taurus, I
think you're in an excellent position to do just that. It's your turn to
enthrall and enchant people with your metaphorical "garden," whether
that's a gourmet meal you cook, an outing you plan, a set of songs you
sing, a report you prepare, or any other fine demonstration of your
beauty and talents.
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HOMEWORK: Where in your life do you push harder than is healthy? Where
do you not push hard enough? Go to http://FreeWillAstrology.com and
click on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological
colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In our
many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had a major
influence on each other's work.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a high
degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner wisdom.
Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.
Ro's website is at
http://YourSoulJourney.com
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
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P.S. I totally respect your privacy. I'll never sell or give away your address
to anyone.
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Submissions sent to the Free Will Astrology Weekly Newsletter
or in response to "homework assignments" may be
published in a variety of formats at Rob Brezsny's discretion,
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2008 Rob Brezsny
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