Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
November 28, 2007
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http://FreeWillAstrology.com
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"The Way of Abundance is all too often misconstrued as a shallow sense
of 'getting what one wants,' 'eliminating the negative,' or 'being free from
pain.' Even the often-touted 'manifesting your dreams,' offers a
psychological disposition that generally remains fixated around
manifestation as 'the project of me.'
"But the 'project of me' can never be enough, for it does not meet 'the
other,' and real living involves meeting. The touch and contact with all of
life, the full freedom of non-separation, the completeness of full
relationship, and the radiance of compassionate ecstasy is what we are
inherently hungry for."
- Rick Jarow, *Alchemy of Abundance*
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This free newsletter is available via RSS. Go here:
http://FreeWillAstrology.com/newsletter/
On that page, you can also sign up to receive the newsletter by email.
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My book
"PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings"
is available for sale at http://tinyurl.com/qaj62
To read news and features from the book, go here:
http://tinyurl.com/lhwx2
Here's an excerpt:
BRAINSCRAMBLING
Relax. Put yourself in a comfortable position. Breathe deeply. Let the
tension stream out of your head and neck and shoulders. Imagine that
your worries are flowing out of you into the good earth below. Say
"ahhhhh" in your softest tone.
Dissolve the constricted energy in your chest and belly and pelvis, and let
it trickle away. Allow the stress in your legs and feet to evaporate. With
each breath, send out a wave of love to your entire body. Relax even
more deeply. Become aware that all of the disquiet within you is
departing. Your knots are unraveling. Your congestion is dissipating.
Now close your eyes and imagine that it's a bright and warm summer day
at the beach. You're sitting in a cozy chair. The sky is a deep, infinite
blue. A balmy breeze caresses your cheeks. Your body feels strong and
serene. You're in harmony with the flow of life. Look around you. See the
sparkling white sand. Feel the gentle waves swirl around your ankles.
As you bask in this beauty and calm, imagine that you're reading the Wall
Street Journal and listening to the soothingly riotous music of a klezmer
polka band playing free-form jazz with a hip-hop beat. Nearby is a
shopping mall you have recently bought and converted into a country
club for poor people. A satellite phone and a wireless laptop are by your
side because you must always be available to conduct late-breaking
business deals, buy or sell stocks, or give spiritual advice.
Amazing but true: You are both a billionaire and a wise counselor. This
blend of wealth and sagacity has led you to become a philanthropic
healer. Through cash donations and gifts of insight, you have helped
thousands of people transform themselves into gorgeous geniuses skilled
at expressing their souls' codes.
Relax even more deeply. Tune in to the understanding that you are a
furiously curious soul full of orgiastic compassion for everything alive. You
are an ongoing experiment in lyrical logic, a slow explosion of uncanny
delight, a sacred agent devoted to breaking the taboo against feeling
crafty joy.
Now say this: I have only barely imagined the blessings that await me. As
interesting and as full as my life is, I'm ready for it to become even more
so.
With this declaration, you have given the future permission to transform
you into a more awakened version of yourself than you ever knew was
possible.
Continue your cooperation with the glorious fate that's coming your way.
Speak the following affirmations, which have been scientifically formulated
to free you of all rigid beliefs that might cause stupidity:
I kick my own ass and wash my own brain.
I push my own buttons and trick my own pain.
I burn my own flags and roast my own heroes.
I mock my own fears and cheer my own zeroes.
Nothing can stop me from teasing my shadow.
I'm full of empty and backwards bravado.
My wounds are tattoos that reveal my true beauty.
I turn tragic to magic and make bliss my duty.
I honor my faults till they become virtues.
I play jokes on my nightmares
till I'm sure they won't hurt you.
I sing anarchist lullabies to lesbian trees
and love songs with punch lines
to anonymous seas.
I won't accept gifts that infringe on my freedom
I shun sacred places that stir up my boredom.
I change my name daily, pretend to be nobody.
I fight for the truth if it's majestically rowdy.
I brag about what I can't do and don't know.
I take off my clothes to those I oppose.
I'm so far beyond lazy, I work like a god.
I'm totally crazy; in fact that's my job.
It's all true. You're completely wacko. Throbbingly, succulently,
shimmeringly insane. And that's good news.
This understanding frees you up to sing in the acid rain and cultivate
global warming in your pants. You are in prime condition to study the
difference between stupid insecurity and smart insecurity until you get it
right. You realize beyond a doubt that everyone who believes in the devil
is the devil. You feel a longing to stick out your tongue and cross your
eyes and put on your most beautifully ugly face as you sneak up on
yourself from behind and whisper "boo!" And you see the healthy wisdom
of now and then inserting into your conversations the following quote,
uttered by the Baron in the film The Adventures of Baron Munchausen:
"Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash, and I'm happy to say I have no
grasp of it whatsoever."
And congratulations. Every cell in your perfect animal body is beginning to
purr with luminous gratitude for the enormity of the riches you endlessly
receive. You are becoming aware that each of your heart's beats
originates as a gift of love directly from the Goddess herself. Any residues
of hatred that had been tainting your libido are leaving you for good. You
are becoming telepathically linked to the world's entire host of secret
teachers, pacifist warriors, philosopher clowns, and bodhisattvas disguised
as convenience store clerks.
In other words, you're on the verge of détente with your evil twin. And
you're ready to submit to a multiple-choice test, which goes like this:
How does it make you feel when I urge you to confess profound secrets
to people who are not particularly interested? Does it make you want to:
a. cultivate a healthy erotic desire for a person you'd normally never be
attracted to in a million years;
b. stop helping your friends glamorize their pain;
c. imitate a hurricane in the act of extinguishing a forest fire;
d. visualize Buddha or Mother Teresa at the moment of orgasm;
e. steal something that's already yours.
The right answer, of course, is any answer you thought was correct.
Congratulations. You're even smarter than you knew.
To seal your victory, repeat the following affirmation: "Stressed" is
"desserts" spelled backward.
Now remain here for a while in this state of supernatural relaxation. As
you begin to return to normal waking consciousness, don't return to
normal waking consciousness. Instead, practice feeling the confidence
that you can invoke the scent of wild honey in a sunlit meadow any time
you feel an urge to.
In honor of your enhanced power to be yourself, I hereby reward you with
a host of fresh titles. From now on you will be known as the Senior Vice
President of Strawberry Fields and Hummingbirds, and the Deputy
Director of Green Lights and Purple Hearts. Consider yourself, as well, to
be the new Puzzle-Master Supreme, the Chief Custodian of Secret
Weapons, and Field Commander of Free Lunches and Poetic Licenses.
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To read news and features from my book, go here:
http://tinyurl.com/lhwx2
You can buy the book here:
AMAZON
http://tinyurl.com/qaj62
POWELLS
http://tinyurl.com/3dsx6q
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OTHER PRONOIA RESOURCES:
DOING WORK YOU LOVE
*The Ultimate Anti-Career Guide: The Inner Path to Finding Your Work in
the World,* audio CD by Rick Jarow
http://tinyurl.com/29y5pr
*Creating the Work You Love: Courage, Commitment, and Career* book
by Rick Jarow
http://tinyurl.com/yvowa3
COMMITTING PRONOIA BY SPENDING LOTS OF MONEY
How should we spend the next trillion dollars?
http://tinyurl.com/2rfrak
ANOTHER GOOD ALTERNATIVE FOR GENERATING ENERGY
Nanosolar
http://tinyurl.com/2przzb
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. These are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning November 29
Copyright 2007 by Rob Brezsny
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): "I need a strategy for bringing
constructive change into my life on an ongoing basis," a Sagittarian
reader named Ursula wrote to me. "I want to figure out how to arrange
for a never-ending series of gentle wake-up calls. When that happens, I
will have mastered the sinewy magic of being permanently unstuck. I will
have made it a habit to be highly alert and wildly responsive in the most
relaxed ways possible. The world will look completely different to me
then; reality itself will have mutated. I won't cling to little scraps of hope
that make me feel secure, but will instead be on the prowl for fresh
challenges that constantly expand my love for life." Ursula's longing is a
brilliant articulation of what I think all of you Sagittarians should quest for
in the coming weeks.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I think it's a good idea for you to give up
mediocre pleasures that drain your energy and diminish your intelligence. I
also wish you would sacrifice irrelevant fantasies and deluded hopes that
lead you away from your riveting dreams. On the other hand, I will rejoice
if you commit yourself twice as intensely to the robust pleasures that
refine your energy and boost your intelligence. And I will love it if you
take three practical actions to supercharge one of your riveting dreams.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): What if I told you there will be 13 militantly
helpful angels in gossamer armor standing guard around your bed every
night, fighting off nightmares and ensuring that your dreams are blessed
with floods of sublimely practical revelations? Would you regard what I
said as a poetic metaphor, as the hyperbolic fantasy of a kooky astrology
writer? Or is there a chance you'd take me literally? That you'd consider
my vision to be the prophetic truth about an actual event? If it's the
latter, then I urge you to be aggressive about asking the angels for the
very best mojo they can muster. This is one time when you have license
to be greedy about tapping into the primal power of supernatural
goodness.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): This would be a good week for you to tell
people's fortunes at parties and help the police solve crimes with your
clairvoyant abilities and read the minds of those you love in order to
communicate with them better. What? You say you don't have any
psychic powers? That's a dirty lie! You most certainly do. It may be true
that your culture has brainwashed you into denying and suppressing
them. But I assure you that they are lying there half-dormant, just waiting
for you to believe in them and use them for everyone's benefit. And this
is an ideal time, astrologically speaking, for you to do just that.
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EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES
In addition to the horoscopes that come to you in this newsletter, I create
audio horoscopes for your inspiration. They discuss themes and cover
material that I don't have room to deal with in the written horoscopes.
They're $6 if you access them on the Web, or $1.99 per minute over the
phone.
Try them at http://RealAstrology.com.
By phone: 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.
"I always feel like I know myself better after listening to your audio
'scopes."
-June R., Austin, TX
"Your audio horoscopes calm me down when I'm too manic and pep me up
when I'm down."
-Arthur T., Cleveland, OH
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ARIES (March 21-April 19): How much more can you hold? How much
further are you willing to reach? How much bigger of a big picture can you
open your mind to see? We will soon discover the answers to those
questions, as well as several others that have to do with the themes of
unbinding, emancipation, and the loss of inhibition. Judging from my
reading of the astrological omens, I'd say the prospects are high for you
to achieve a record-breaking state of relaxed and curious expansiveness.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Explore the off-limits area of your
imagination, Taurus. I'm talking about that barely conscious part of your
psyche where taboo fantasies and unruly notions have been steadily
growing in the dark, accumulating the dark luminosity that all secret
things do. If you consort with them now, you'll be just in time to prevent
them from becoming monstrous and reeling out of control. Even better,
you'll have a good chance of shaping them into resources that will serve
you well.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I recommend that you read one of those
ground-level books on intimacy skills, like *Relationships for Dummies* or
*The Complete Idiot's Guide to Romance.* It's not that you are any
dumber about these matters than the rest of us; it's just that this is a
favorable time for you to work harder than usual on boosting your Love
IQ. Remedial efforts taken now will generate assistance and inspiration
from unexpected sources. For best results, I suggest you consider
keeping a journal about the lessons you'll be asked to master. Entitle it
something like "How I'm Becoming as Smart about Love as I Am about
Everything Else in My Life."
CANCER (June 21-July 22): During the heyday of samurai culture, the
Japanese word *tsuji-giri* meant "to try out a new sword on a passer-by."
After analyzing your astrological omens, Cancerian, I'm appealing to you
not to commit the metaphorical equivalent of that in the coming week.
Here's what I mean: You've got good reasons to use the metaphorical
equivalent of a new sword, and you will wreak some constructive havoc if
you direct your warrior attitude at the right targets. But if, on the other
hand, you carelessly slice and dice passers-by and other innocents who
don't deserve it, you'll waste that valuable resource and won't correct the
problems that have piqued your sense of injustice.
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AUDIO HOROSCOPES
In addition to the horoscopes that you're reading here, I create audio
horoscopes for your amusement and inspiration. Find out more at
http://RealAstrology.com.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or
1-900-950-7700.
"Your audio horoscopes work better than my therapist and cost me five
percent of what he charges." - Chris M., San Francisco, CO
"You've helped me remember important things about myself that I'd
forgotten." -Ruth V., Toronto
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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "When love is not madness, it is not love," said
Spanish dramatist Pedro Calderon de la Barca. But according to my
analysis of the astrological omens, you will dramatically disprove that
notion in the coming weeks, Leo. In fact, I'm betting that love will make
you stark, raving sane. It will calm you down, heal a wound or two,
improve your eyesight, help you understand yourself better, improve your
digestion, and stimulate you to become more tolerant and forgiving
towards the entire world.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): First let me make it clear that I'm not
predicting you will face difficult events in the coming days. Not at all.
Second, I'm not saying you will have to endure more pain than usual.
Third, I believe your suffering will be about average -- similar to what
normal people bear in normal times. Having said all that, though, I
encourage you to be aggressively exploratory toward the pain you feel.
Have long talks with your murky fears. Gaze bravely into the parts of your
life that make you sad. Why? Because it's a favorable time to search for
treasure that's buried in the shadows -- to enhance your psychological
health by dealing with what's not so healthy. Recall Carl Jung's wise
words: "The foundation of all mental illness is an unwillingness to
experience legitimate suffering."
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Some years ago, in an advertisement designed
to attract Spanish-speaking flyers, U.S.-based Braniff Airlines bragged
about its leather seats with the phrase "viajar en cuero." But that phrase
actually means "to travel stark naked," not "to travel on leather." The
marketing department goofed. One of your main goals in the coming
week, Libra, should be to prevent comparable outbreaks of the "lost in
translation" syndrome. In fact, I urge you to act as an interpreter in
situations where different worlds overlap. Be sure, for example, that
extroverts and introverts understand each other. Facilitate the
communication between cynics and optimists, morning people and night
owls, caffeine addicts and pot heads, dreamers and realists. Be especially
alert for misunderstandings that may arise during interactions between
the right and left sides of your own brain.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Are you ready for your next big initiation?
Probably not, but that's OK. Your upgrade to the next level should go
fine, even if you wobble and sputter for a while before and after. Just to
let you know, there may be no single striking event to dramatize it for
you. It could arrive almost secretly in a roller coaster dream, or announce
itself with a warm rush of unfamiliar emotion while you're in the middle of
lunch. But however it insinuates its way into your awareness, Scorpio, it
will open you to the possibility of seeing things that have been invisible to
you before now.
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HOMEWORK: Imagine it's 60 years from now and you're telling God the
worst thing and best thing you ever did. What would they be? Testify by
going to http://FreeWillAstrology.com and clicking on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological
colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In our
many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had a major
influence on each other's work.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a high
degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner wisdom.
Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.
Ro's website is at
http://YourSoulJourney.com
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
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P.S. I totally respect your privacy. I'll never sell or give away your address
to anyone.
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Submissions sent to the Free Will Astrology Weekly Newsletter
or in response to "homework assignments" may be
published in a variety of formats at Rob Brezsny's discretion,
including but not limited to newsletters, books, the Free Will
Astrology column, and Free Will Astrology website. We reserve
the right to edit such submissions for length, style, and content.
Requests for anonymity will be honored with submissions;
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Please be sure to note your preference when sending to us. We
are not responsible for unsolicited submission of any creative
material.
Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2007 Rob Brezsny
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