Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology Newsletter
January 24, 2007
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WHAT'S TO COME?
BRAINSTORM ABOUT THE BIG PICTURE OF YOUR LIFE
with the help of my
Expanded Audio Horoscopes for the Coming Year
Go to http://RealAstrology.com
You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny
in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long.
What will be the story of your life in 2007? How can you exert your free
will to create the adventures that'll bring out the best in you, even as you
find graceful ways to cooperate with the tides of destiny?
If you'd like a high-octane boost of inspiration to fuel you in your quest
for beauty and truth and love and justice and meaning, tune in to my
meditations on your long-term outlook.
A new short-range forecast for this week is also available, both on the
Web and at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.
To find out more about Your BIG PICTURE horoscopes, go to
http://RealAstrology.com.
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"Our complex global economy is built upon millions of small, private acts
of psychological surrender, the willingness of people to acquiesce in
playing their assigned parts as cogs in the great social machine that
encompasses all other machines. That capacity for self-enslavement must
be broken."
- Theodore Roszak, *The Voice Of The Earth: An Exploration of
Ecopsychology*
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The piece below is excerpted from my book
"PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings"
available at http://tinyurl.com/qaj62
or find out more at http://www.freewillastrology.com
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EVIL FEARS LAUGHTER
Are demons and devils real? In my view, it doesn't matter whether or not
they exist in an objective or literal sense. The point is that we are all
plagued by split-off, unintegrated portions of our own and other people's
psyches. They behave exactly as if they were diabolical entities--demons,
djinns, dybbuks, and devils--working at cross-purposes to our conscious
desires.
In dealing with their hassling interventions, I endorse the approach
described by Paul Foster Case in his book *The Tarot: A Key to the
Wisdom of the Ages.* There he suggested that mirth is the best way to
beat the devil. "Laughter is prophylactic," he wrote. "It purifies
subconsciousness and dissolves mental complexes. In a hymn to the sun
god Ra we read, 'Thy priests go forth at dawn, washing their hearts with
laughter.' This is a prescription we may all follow to advantage."
My friend and teacher, Vimala Nostradamus, echoes Case. "The best way
to neutralize the devil is to laugh at him," she says. "Satan's most
effective recruiting technique is to get people to take themselves too
seriously." To exemplify her argument, she once told her daughter in my
presence about a foolproof way to avoid being hassled if you're a woman
walking by a crew of construction workers: "Pick your nose."
The novels of Tom Robbins provide spiritual guidance about dealing with
diabolical spirits, both those that originate within us and those that come
from without. Here's a sample tip from his *Jitterbug Perfume*: "Play--
more than piety, more than charity or vigilance--is what allows human
beings to transcend evil."
We regret to report that further help on this matter is not available from
the holy books of the world's major religions. None of their authors ever
figured out that an excellent weapon against the fragmented, shadowy
portions of our psyches is humor, tomfoolery, and laughter. This
ignorance may be the greatest mystery in history.
But Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Confucianism,
Taoism, Shintoism, Zoroastrianism, and Jainism aren't the only spiritual
traditions that have failed to take advantage of evil's primary weakness.
The esoteric spiritual paths of the West, including Hermeticism,
Rosicrucianism, and alchemy, also suffer from an inexplicable lack of jokes
and fun at the heart of their practice. Shamanism, paganism, yoga, and
tantra are, for the most part, similarly bereft.
There are rare exceptions. The Sufis have cracked a few funny stories
down through the ages. The Fourth Way teacher, George Gurdjieff, had a
sense of humor that he used pedagogically. And 20th-century America
spawned two authentically comic religions, Discordianism and the Church
of the Subgenius. Unfortunately, their combined flocks are smaller than
the crowds drawn by any popular evangelical preacher in one night of
mean-spirited pontificating.
*
Here's a letter we received at the Beauty and Truth Laboratory, along
with our response.
"Dear Beauty and Truth Laboratory: After long meditation on what's
missing from my relationship with God, I found the answer: a sense of
humor. I realized I can never truly love or honestly communicate with a
Supreme Being who doesn't chuckle. Alas, there does not seem to be a
single text in any religious tradition that's even slightly comical. Can you
give me some hope? —In Search of a Droll Deity"
Dear In Search of: Below are a few possibly hope-inspiring passages from
one of the Beauty and Truth Laboratory's unpublished holy books God's
Laughing With You, Not at You.
*
Chapter 26, Verses 182–188: The Plot to Debunk Pronoia
A meeting of Hell's board of directors was taking place. The devil was
upset because recruitment had dropped to a new low since the pronoia
meme had begun to spread. "It's intolerable," he raged. "These f***ing
pronoiacs are so mentally healthy it makes me want to puke.
Suggestions?"
Hell's executive vice-president blurted out, "I'll go down to earth and
convince thousands of pronoiacs that their friends are jealous of their
happiness."
The marketing chief chimed in: "I'll go down to earth and make them feel
guilty for feeling so good."
Then the head of intelligence spoke: "I'll go down to earth and inspire a
bestselling New Age author to write a sappy mass market book about
pronoia."
*
Chapter 57, Verses 112–116: How to Ask for What You Want
George prayed every day for three years to win the lottery, but never
heard from God or hit the jackpot.
Finally, God woke him up in the middle of the night. "George, is that you
who's been praying so hard to win the lottery?" the Supreme Being
boomed.
"Yes, Lord, desperately!"
God paused for a moment, then said thoughtfully, "George, I'll tell you
what. I want you to meet me halfway. Buy a ticket, OK?"
*
Chapter 88, Verses 15–21: Do-It-Yourself Exorcism
If you're average, you're demonically possessed not just by split-off,
unintegrated portions of your own and other people's psyches, but also
by 20 million ads and 200,000 televised acts of violence stored in your
brain.
The good news is that as you practice the art of pronoia, you'll attract
steady streams of amusing experiences that are effective at neutralizing
those toxins. Every time you laugh, you'll most likely purge a nihilistic
image or inane story that had been depleting your energy. A belly laugh
may flush out the imprints of as many as 500 commercials.
*
Chapter 93, Verses 81–84: Pronoiac Homework
Upon request, the Beauty and Truth Laboratory gives homework to
students of pronoia. An assignment we're fond of is to ask them to finish
the sentence, "The one thing that keeps me from being myself is
__________."
Many respondents fill in the blank with "my fears." Other common
answers are "lack of money," "my spouse," and "my obsession with
status."
Of course there are no right answers. But the above replies don't capture
the spirit of pronoia as well as an exemplary offering from Ann-Marie at
Getunderground.com. "The one thing that keeps me from being myself,"
she wrote, "is other people's reluctance to lick patent leather."
*
Chapter 153, Verses 11–16: How to Know God
Below you'll find three messages. One is an authentic communiqué from
the Divine Wow, which I channeled while in ecstatic trance. The other two
are fakes that I made up. If you're as thoroughly in tune with your inner
purpose as you need to be, you won't have any trouble knowing which is
the true Word of the Creator.
Message #1: "I, the Supreme Designer of Heaven and Earth, am totally
pissed off at your lazy sins and lack of faith. Cut the crap and shape up."
Message #2: "I, untouchable and unknowable CEO of the Universe,
couldn't care less what you do. Don't bother me."
Message #3: "I, the Universal Jokester who runs all of creation on the fuel
of my sublime pleasure, am well-entertained by the stories you've been
living. Thanks! I can't wait to see what you do next."
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To read other news and features from my book, go here:
http://snipurl.com/l9o3
You can buy the book here:
AMAZON
http://snipurl.com/krjj
BARNES & NOBLE
http://snipurl.com/krjn
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
OTHER PRONOIA RESOURCES:
MUTANT NEWS BLOG
"Emergent Culture MetaFilter".
http://www.eblips.net
Some recent headlines:
*Dancing in the Streets,* Barbara Ehrenreich's history of sacred fun
Robert Anton Wilson Death Blog?
Secret Drugs of Buddhism
The Next Revolution in Biology?
"Solar Rain" - Global Warming NOT Due to Carbon?
Don't Call Me Gaia
BOOK
*Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain: How a New Science Reveals Our
Extraordinary Potential to Transform Ourselves*
by Sharon Begley
http://tinyurl.com/22d8up
"For decades, the conventional wisdom of neuroscience held that the
hardware of the brain is fixed and immutable–-that we are stuck with what
we were born with. As Begley shows, however, recent pioneering
experiments in neuroplasticity, a new science that investigates whether
and how the brain can undergo wholesale change, reveal that the brain is
capable not only of altering its structure but also of generating new
neurons, even into old age. The brain can reset our happiness meter, allow
us to break cycles of depression and OCD, learn compassion, and heal us
after trauma."
FLYING BANANAS
Geostationary Banana over Texas
http://tinyurl.com/uasvh
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They're not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning January 25
Copyright 2007 by Rob Brezsny
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): In recent years, groups of students at Yale
and other Ivy League universities have pioneered a unique cultural trend:
naked parties. Those in attendance at one of these invitation-only affairs
agree to spend the evening in their birthday suits. "The dynamic is
completely different from a clothed party," reports Yale coed Megan
Crandell, quoted in *The Scotsman.* "People are so conscious of how
they're coming across that conversations end up being more
sophisticated." Your assignment, Aries--should you choose to accept it--is
to bring the phenomenon of the naked party to your own locale.
According to my reading of the astrological omens, you're meant to be a
social catalyst who inspires people to strip away their defenses and
practice the art of radical authenticity.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Your web of allies is a crucial part of your
pursuit of happiness. The stimulation and support you ask them for are
vivid evidence that you love life and have a strong sense of what's good
for you. Every now and then, however, you need to remember that it's
important to avoid falling completely under their influence. You've got to
resist peer pressure, and declare your independence from the crowd's
power to shape you. Now is such a time, Taurus.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): "Never eat food you did not prepare yourself,"
wrote journalist David Filipov about the lessons he learned while traveling
in the Central Asian republic of Tajikistan, "and never eat out of the same
dish as 12 paramilitary stormtroopers you've just met." Draw inspiration
from Filipov's approach, Gemini. Dare yourself to explore an exotic
frontier, but exercise great discrimination while you're learning the ropes
and getting the lay of the land.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): It's Be Your Own Muse Week, Cancerian. How
should you observe this festival? Here's one suggestion. First, visualize in
detail your dream lover . . . your ideal soul mate . . . the embodiment of
everything you find attractive. Second, imagine that though this person
feels the same way about you, there is a very good reason why the two
of you can't make love or be together as a couple for a long time. Next,
feel the sweet torment of your unquenched longing for each other, the
impossible ache of fiery tenderness. Finally, picture all the ways you will
work on yourself in the coming years to refine your soul and perfect your
love, so that when the two of you can finally be united, you will have
made yourself into a gorgeous genius--a pure blessing and exquisite gift
for your beloved.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Chinese scientists have discovered that the
behavior of snakes is a reliable predictor of earthquakes. In the lead-up to
a temblor, the reptiles act oddly, slithering frantically out of their nests if
they're in their natural habitat, or hurling themselves head-first against
walls if they're being kept in laboratories or zoos. I mention this, Leo,
because I've had two dreams recently about snakes wearing party hats,
sipping cocktails, singing karaoke, and dancing on tabletops. Each dream
also featured several of my Leo friends acting pretty much like the
snakes. If I factor in these nocturnal portents with my analysis of the
current astrological omens, I interpret them as prophecies that the Leo
tribe will soon be experiencing metaphorical "earthquakes" of liberating
pleasure and cathartic fun.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Would you like some inspiration as you muse and wonder about your
upcoming adventures in 2007?
You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny
in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long.
Go to http://RealAstrology.com
for these EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You recently went through a phase whose
quality I might compare to a dry, crunchy, bran-heavy breakfast cereal
without milk. It fed your hunger, though it wasn't particularly tasty or
thrilling. It was highly concentrated and good for your digestion. Now
you're slipping into a kind of Cracker Jack mode, with lots of airy puffs of
popcorny sweetness and an occasional nut, climaxed by a toy surprise.
The Cracker Jack phase will be more like a snack than a meal, though, and
it won't last too long. By next week at this time, I'm guessing your life will
have resemblances to a hearty, organic, five-grain hot cereal sweetened
with maple syrup and cinnamon.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don't feel bad if you come from a
dysfunctional family. Studies done by The Institute for the Study of
Universal Addiction indicate that 97 percent of all families are
dysfunctional. You should, however, feel bad if you pass up the
opportunities you now have to heal the ravages caused by your
dysfunctional family. Here's a good place to start: By trying to dissolve
your habit of feeling victimized, damaged, or burdened by the people with
whom you shared your original home, you could release yourself from a
curse you've been casting on yourself--and magically set in motion
overdue changes in your other family members.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): "Man is least himself when he talks in his
own person," observed Oscar Wilde. "Give him a mask and he'll tell you
the truth." Using that as our hypothesis, Sagittarius, I urge you to adopt
playful disguises to help you express yourself this week. You could go to a
costume store and buy a mask of one of history's great communicators.
(How about Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, or Eleanor Roosevelt?) Or
you could simply pretend to be a slightly different person than your
normal self. Speak in a foreign accent. Take on the body language of a
hip-hop artist or professional wrestler. Or imagine that you're already the
person you'll be three years from today.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): My analysis of the astrological omens
suggests that you'll be more animalistic than usual in the coming weeks.
Your instinctual intelligence will be high, which means you'll have a good
sense of who to trust and who not to trust. In fact, your body will be
offering you a stream of valuable information about other matters as well,
from tips on how to rise higher in the pecking order to clues about where
to find the best hunting grounds. It's also likely that you'll be hornier and
wilder than usual. That could be quite fun or it could get you into trouble.
Which way it goes will depend on how well the human in you both
respects and controls the animal in you.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The cosmic powers-that-be are encouraging
you to be a brazen instigator of novelty, a pioneering magician who dares
to initiate inspired trends that may upset the status quo. If you can
summon the charismatic nerve to cooperate with this prod, Aquarius,
there's no telling what drastic acts of benevolent disruption you could
conjure up. And they would ultimately lead, I have little doubt, to
constructive innovations. (P.S. Would you believe me if I told you that a
previously dormant section of your genetic code is primed to spring into
action?)
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In her book *Frankenstein,* Mary Shelley
created a monster who was smart and sensitive. He felt empathetic pain
for the suffering of Native Americans. He desperately wanted a mate. He
read Milton's *Paradise Lost,* and felt a grieving kinship with the
struggles of Adam depicted therein. In accordance with current
astrological omens, Pisces, I encourage you to acknowledge and express
love for your own inner Frankenstein monster--the tormented, disfigured,
and yet powerful part of your psyche that needs your compassion. I'm
sure that this will prevent it from doing what Shelley's fictional character
ultimately did, which was to go on a rampage--and will maybe even set it
on a course to become a force for good.
*************************************************
HOMEWORK: When they say "Be yourself," which self do they mean?
Testify by going to http://FreeWillAstrology.com and clicking on "Email
Rob."
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THE BEST DREAM WORKER I'VE EVER KNOWN
If you've ever had an intuition that maybe you'd like to delve deeper into
your dreams, I recommend Jonathan Zap. He's the best dream worker I
know.
Highly intuitive, schooled in the wisdom of archetypes, and really smart,
Jonathan has helped me crack the codes of some of my major dreams. His
cost is quite reasonable, too. I exuberantly recommend his services.
(He's not even paying me to say this. I'm simply motivated by the desire
to share his treasure with my readers.)
You can reach Jonathan at jonathanzap@hotmail.com
His homepage is at:
http://www.zaporacle.com/
Info about his dream work and other services are at:
http://www.zaporacle.com/textpattern/shop
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing personal charts these days, but I highly recommend my
favorite astrological colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely
matches my own. In our many discussions about astrology over the years,
we've had a major influence on each other's work.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a high
degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner wisdom.
Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.
Ro's website is at
http://www.YourSoulJourney.com
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
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anyone.
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2007 Rob Brezsny
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