Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology Newsletter
"In the old Sufi legend about Allah, he decided to drive everybody crazy.
He changed the water so that everybody who drank it would go crazy.
And then he decided there was one man he liked a lot so he told him
'Don't drink the water for the next month!' And after the first couple of
days of living among all these lunatics the guy couldn't stand it any more
and he went and drank the water too.
"The same kind of thing happens every day. People become aware that
we're living in a crazy world and then they realize they can't live with that
insight so they go crazy themselves so they can fit into that world."
-Robert Anton Wilson
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May 31, 2006
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http://www.freewillastrology.com
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ROB'S UPCOMING PERFORMANCES
Harmony Festival
in Santa Rosa, CA
June 9, 10, 11
http://www.harmonyfestival.com
Rob appears at the following times and places at the Harmony Festival:
Saturday, June 10, 3:00-3:45 -- Earthdance Stage
Saturday, June 10, 8:15-8:30 -- Main Stage
Sunday, June 11, 1:45-1:55 -- Main Stage
Sunday, June 11, 3:00-3:45 -- Earthdance Stage
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Here's an excerpt from my book
"PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings"
available at http://snipurl.com/krjj
or find out more at http://www.freewillastrology.com
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22ND CENTURY PRONOIA THERAPY
Experiments and exercises in becoming a bewilderingly enlightened,
ecstatically grateful, unselfishly proud Master of Fiendishly Benevolent
Tricks
1. Philosopher Robert Anton Wilson has proposed that the single greatest
contribution to world peace would come from there being six billion
different religions—a unique spiritual path for each person on the planet.
The Beauty and Truth Laboratory urges you to get started on doing your
part to make this happen. What will your religion be called? What rituals
will you perform? Write down your three core tenets.
2. You'll also need a new name for the Creator. "God" and "Goddess"
have been so overused and abused that most of us are numb to them.
And given the spiritual opportunities that will open up for you as you
explore pronoia, you can't afford to have an impaired sensitivity towards
the Great Mystery.
Here's an idea to stimulate your search: The Russian word for God is
"Bog." The Basques call the Supreme Being "Jingo." To purge your
psychic dockets of built-up fixations about deity, you might try singing
improvisational prayers to "Jingo Bog."
Here are a few other fresh names to inspire you:
Blooming HaHa
Divine Wow
Whirl-Zap-Gush
Sublime Cackler
Chthonic Riddler
3. Since ancient times, China has hosted three religions: Confucianism,
Buddhism, and Taoism. The typical Chinese person has cobbled together a
mélange of beliefs gathered from all three. This is different from the
Western way, which is to be faithful to one religion or another, never
mixing and matching.
But that's changing in certain enclaves in North America, where growing
numbers of seekers are adopting the Chinese approach. They borrow
elements from a variety of spiritual traditions to create a personalized
path. Religious historians call this syncretism.
As you meditate on conjuring up your own unique mode of worship, think
of the good parts you'd like to steal from other religions.
4. Most religions designate a special class of people—priests, rabbis,
ayatollahs—to oversee official communications with the Source. This has
led to a prevailing assumption, even among those who don't follow an
established faith, that we can't initiate a divine conversation without the
aid of a professional class of trained mediators. Among some sects of the
ancient gnostics, in contrast, everyone was regarded as a potential
prophet who could experience epiphanies worthy of becoming part of the
ever-evolving doctrine.
As you create your own spiritual path, experiment with this approach.
What might you do to eliminate the middleman and commune directly
with the Source?
5. The chorus of an old Depeche Mode song goes like this: "I don't want
to start/ Any blasphemous rumors/ But I think that God's/ Got a sick
sense of humor/ And when I die/ I expect to find him laughing." I have a
grudging respect for these lyrics. In an age when God has been co-opted
by intolerant fundamentalists and mirthless sentimentalists, I appreciate
any artist who suggests there's more to the Infinite Spirit than the one-
dimensional prig described in the Bible or Koran.
On the other hand, Depeche Mode's notion of the Blooming HaHa is also
disinformation. It's as much a hostage to pop culture's knee-jerk nihilism
as the right-wing bigots' God is to their monumental hatreds. One thing I
know for sure about the Supreme Being is that while she does have a
complicated sense of humor, it's not cruel or vengeful.
Your assignment: Pray to be granted a healing sample of her comedic
genius—a funny, shocking miracle that will free you of any tendencies you
have to believe the age-old lies about her.
6. Will there be prayer in your new religion? If so, we suggest that you
avoid the body language traditionally used by Christians in their worship.
The gesture of clasping one's hands together originated long ago as an
imitation of being shackled; it was thought to be the proper way to
express submission to divine power.
The prayers you make, however, may be imbued as much with reverent
exuberance or ecstatic gratitude as somber submissiveness. An example
of a more apt gesture is to spread your arms as wide and high as they'll
go, as if you're hugging the sky. Any other ideas?
7. What if the Creator is like Rainer Maria Rilke's God, "like a webbing
made of a hundred roots, that drink in silence"? What if the Source of All
Life inhabits both the dark and the light, heals with strange splendor as
much as with sweet insight, is hermaphroditic and omnisexual? What if
the Source loves to give you riddles that push you past the boundaries of
your understanding, forcing you to deepen your perceptions and change
the way you think about everything? Close your eyes and imagine you can
sense the presence of this tender, marvelous, difficult, entertaining
intelligence.
8. At one point in James Michener's novel Hawaii, a native Hawaiian tells
ignorant missionaries, "You cannot speak to the gods with your clothes
on." Whereupon he strips and prepares for prayer. Test this theory. Find
out if your communion with the Divine Wow improves when you're naked.
9. A few Christian sects now enjoy a new addition to their once-staid
church services: holy laughter. Parishioners become so excited while
worshiping that they erupt in uncontrollable glee. Some may crack up so
profoundly that they fall on the floor and flop around like breakdancers.
Others repeatedly leap into the air as if on pogo sticks, or wobble and
zigzag as if trying to dance while drunk.
Imagine that the holy books of your religion prescribe laughing prayers as
a reliable way to know the Divine Wow. Recite one of those laughing
prayers.
10. In Judeo-Christian cultures, many people associate the sky with the
masculine form of God. According to this bias, the Supreme Father rules
us all from on high—up, away, far from here. But if you were an ancient
Egyptian, the sky was the goddess Nuit, her body its very substance. She
was a loving mother whose tender touch could be felt with each new
breath.
For one day, act as if you and Nuit are in constant contact.
11. In Kevin Smith's movie, Dogma, pop singer Alanis Morissette played
God. Anthony Quinn was Zeus in the TV show, Hercules, and comedian
George Burns performed the role of God in three movies, always "without
makeup," as he bragged. Your assignment is to choose the person you'd
like to portray God or Goddess in the movie of your life.
15. In *Letters to a Young Poet,* Rilke urged an aspiring bard to change
the way he imagined the Supreme Being. "Why don't you conceive of God
as an ally who is coming," Rilke said, "who has been approaching since
time began, the one who will someday arrive, the fruit of a tree whose
leaves we are? Why not project his birth into the future, and live your life
as an excruciating and lyrical moment in the history of a prodigious
pregnancy?"
How would your life change if you made this idea your working
hypothesis?
16. In some ancient Greek dramas, a god showed up out of nowhere to
cause a miraculous twist at a crucial point in the tale. This divine intrusion
was referred to as theos ek mechanes, literally "god from a machine,"
because the symbolic figure of the god was lowered onto the stage by a
crane. In modern usage, the term is Latin—deus ex machina—and refers
to a story in which a sudden event unexpectedly brings about a resolution
to a baffling problem.
Write a tale in which you're the beneficiary of such an intervention.
17. In Frederick Buechner's book, *On the Road with the Archangel,* the
star is the archangel Raphael. This supernatural helper has a tough gig:
gathering the prayers of human beings and delivering them to God. Here's
how he describes the range of pleas he hears: "'There are prayers of such
power that you might say they carry me rather than the other way
around. There are prayers so apologetic and shamefaced and half-hearted
that they all but melt away in my grasp like sad little flakes of snow. Some
prayers are very boring.'"
Compose a prayer that's so powerful and entertaining that it could thrill
an archangel.
18. Thousands of scientists are engaged in research to crack the code of
the aging process. Their coming breakthroughs may allow you to live a
healthy and vigorous life well into your 90s—and even beyond.
How can you contribute to this worthy cause? What might you do to
promote your longevity? Brainstorm about possible strategies.
And now I drink a toast to your coffin. May it be fashioned of lumber
obtained from a hundred-year-old cypress tree whose seed will germinate
this year.
19. Let's move on to discuss the possibility that sooner or later, the
physical body you inhabit will expire. Your heart will shut down. Blood will
no longer course through your veins. The fleshly vehicle you knew as your
home for so many years will begin to rot. Is this the ultimate proof, as
some people bitterly proclaim, that there is no God and that pronoia is a
lie?
I say no. I say that the Creator includes death as an essential part of
evolution's master plan. Lifetime after lifetime, our immortal souls take on
a series of temporary forms as we help unfold, in our own small ways, the
inconceivably complex plot of the divine drama. Each time we die, it's
hard and sad to our time-bound egos. But from the perspective of the
part of us that has always been and will always be, it's simply part of the
epic adventure.
Assume, for argument's sake, that what I've just said is a fact. Describe
how different your life would be if you not only believed but perceived the
truth that your essential self will never die, but will inhabit many bodies
and live many lives on earth.
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To read other news and features from my book, go here:
http://snipurl.com/l9o3
or
http://freewillastrology.com/beauty/beauty.main145.shtml
To buy the book, use the links to Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble,
which are on my homepage at http://www.freewillastrology.com
Or cut and paste the direct links below:
AMAZON
http://snipurl.com/krjj
BARNES & NOBLE
http://snipurl.com/krjn
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OTHER PRONOIA RESOURCES:
FESTIVAL
Harmony Festival
Santa Rosa, CA
June 9, 10, 11
http://www.harmonyfestival.com/
INTERVIEW
An interview with Daniel Pinchbeck, author of *Breaking Open the Head*
and *2012: The Return of Quetzalcoatl*
http://snipurl.com/qqrf
MUSIC
*The Dreaming* by Kate Bush
BOOK
*Fear Less: Real Truth About Risk, Safety, and Security in a Time of
Terrorism* by Gavin de Becker
http://snipurl.com/r59d
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They're not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning June 1
Copyright 2006 by Rob Brezsny
http://www.freewillastrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): In all my years of evaluating your astrological
omens, I have rarely seen a time so favorably disposed to the value and
pleasure of variety. I'm tempted to conclude that the cosmos is
conspiring for you to try all 32 flavors, 46 positions, and 64 loopholes.
For a limited time only, you really should be determined to sample a little
of a lot rather than a lot of a little. Grazing and browsing are not only fine,
they're preferable. You have a poetic license to be mercurial,
spontaneous, and inscrutable.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): According to my reading of the astrological
omens, you now have the best opportunity in a long time to promote
yourself without turning into a manipulative huckster or soul-shrunken
sell-out. At least temporarily, you have immunity from the phoniness that
might infect anyone else who pushed her wares and services as hard as
you can push them in the coming weeks. Please take advantage of this
grace period to make sure the world knows how valuable you are.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In her book *Strange New Species: Astonishing
Discoveries of Life on Planet Earth,* Elin Kelsey writes that though
scientists have named 1.7 million species, at least 3.3 million others are
still out there, as yet unidentified. In a similar way, Gemini, there are many
invigorating adventures and intoxicating truths that you have not yet
discovered--countless life experiences that remain unknown to you. It so
happens that this is a perfect time to jumpstart your pioneering urges
and go out exploring those frontiers. In the coming days, I urge you to
find at least one new variety of each of the following: allies, sanctuaries,
resources, inspirations, and pleasures.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Blogger Joseph Cannon has uncovered
evidence that George W. Bush may be the grandson of the infamous
occultist Aleister Crowley. On his website at http://snipurl.com/pler,
Cannon says there's a distinct possibility that Bush's mother, Barbara
Bush, was conceived during a ritual tryst between Crowley and her mother
Pauline in 1924. I'm not sufficiently informed on the matter to ascertain if
it's true, though I can't help but note the strong physical resemblance
between Aleister and Barbara. I bring this up because it's an excellent
time for all of you Cancerians, including the current American president,
to delve into the mysteries of your past. Secrets that have always been
hidden are more likely to pop into view than ever before. If you're
listening, your ancestors have clues to reveal.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): A team of Japanese cultural analysts was assigned
the task of figuring out the best possible pick-up line. The winner: "Rainen
no kono hi mo issho ni waratteiy-oh." In English, that's "This time next
year, let's be laughing together." I present this expression for your
consideration, Leo, because I think it's a perfectly poetic way to alert you
to imminent developments in your life. As I understand the astrological
omens, you're about to experience transformations whose power to
fascinate and amuse you will not fully ripen until June of 2007. They may
be subtle at first, but will slowly build in intensity as the months go by.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the course of reducing the mystery of
nature to a set of mechanical laws, Charles Darwin suffered greatly. "I
cannot endure to read a line of poetry," he mourned in his journal. "I have
tried to read Shakespeare, and found it so intolerably dull that it
nauseated me. I have almost lost my taste for pictures and music. I
lament this curious loss of my higher aesthetic tastes. . . My mind seems
to have become a machine for grinding general laws, out of larger
collections of facts, but why this should have caused the atrophy of that
part of the brain alone, on which the higher tastes depend, I cannot
conceive." I bring this to your attention, Virgo, because I want you to be
very careful not to let your love of logic and reason damage your capacity
to perceive magic and enjoy the ineffable. Ideally, of course, you'll always
be able to draw on both capacities equally. It's a crucial moment in the
evolution of your power to do that.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In a roundtable discussion published in
*Newsweek,* film director Steven Spielberg touted the value of anxiety in
stimulating creativity. "Fear is your ally," he said. "The minute you come
onto a set and you're no longer afraid, you're in big trouble. The best
performances--from filmmakers and from actors--have happened when
there are whole stretches of tremendous instability about the process." I
personally don't believe this is an absolute law that's always true. Some
of my best work has emerged during times when I've felt secure and
peaceful. But I do think Spielberg's theory is likely to apply to you in the
coming weeks, Libra. Dare to put yourself in the midst of uncertainty.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In her poem "Possession," Jane Shore
describes how the "La Brea tar pits/ keep disgorging ancient bones,
squeezing them/ through the oily black muscles of earth/ to the surface."
She's referring to the place in Los Angeles where there are lakes of
natural asphalt that contain the fossils of ancient mammals. These grails
of ancient goo, with their seemingly endless new supply of primeval
treasures, serve as an excellent metaphor for the psychic terrain you're
inhabiting these days.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): It would not be a good time to try
digging a hole to China. You'd have visa problems once you got there, and
might end up under arrest. A better bet would be drilling a tunnel to
Australia, where you'd probably get more slack once you arrived. In
general, Sagittarius, I heartily recommend any activity that takes you to
the polar opposite of where you've been hanging out, as long as you're
sure you'll be welcome there.
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AUDIO LOVE LETTERS
In addition to the horoscopes that come to you in this newsletter, I create
more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. I think of them as
my love letters to you. They're $6 if you access them on the Web, or
$1.99 per minute over the phone.
For Web access, go here:
http://www.relationshipnetwork.com/horo/index.asp?client_id=50700
From the United States, call
1-900-950-7700
or if you prefer to pay by credit card
1-877-873-4888
If you live in Canada, call 1-888-499-4425 to purchase a Block of Time
with your credit card.
"Your expanded astrology thingees help me remember who I really am." -
Gareth N., Toronto
"I never knew it was possible to get my butt kicked and my head patted
at the same time -- until I listened to you, Rob." -Kristi P., Portland, OR
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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): "Race car drivers say that if you're heading
toward a wall," writes philosopher Jonathan Zap, "don't look at it. Instead,
look at where you want to go." That's good advice for you in the coming
week, Capricorn. It would be crazy for you to concentrate all your
attention on what you don't like and don't need and don't agree with.
Rather, you should briefly acknowledge the undesirable possibilities, but
then turn the full force of your focus to the most interesting and fulfilling
option.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In the course of most pregnancies, there is
a moment when the fetus first moves in such a way that the mother-to-
be can feel it. It's often a kick or a punch. I predict that an analogous
quickening will occur for you in the coming week, Aquarius. You'll arrive at
a threshold where a rite of passage will begin. It may be as subtle as a
soft, billowing thump or as radical as a raucous yelp. At that uncanny
moment, you'll become aware that a new force has sprung to life. You'll
become attuned to a delivery from the future.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A British man named Adrian Hayward had a
dream in which an odd event occurred during a soccer game. In his dream,
a famous player kicked the ball into the goal from his own half of the
field--an improbable long-distance shot that rarely occurs in real games.
Following the dream, Hayward placed a wager with a bookmaker, betting
that such a goal would actually be scored in the course of the real British
soccer season. He later won $45,000 when a player for Liverpool did
exactly what he'd dreamed. If you take the trouble to recall your own
dreams in the coming week, Pisces, I predict you will get at least one hot
tip akin to Hayward's.
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HOMEWORK:
Tell about a time when an unexpected visitation cracked open a hole in
your shrunken reality so as to let juicy eternity pour in. Testify by going
to http://www.freewillastrology.com and clicking on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing charts these days. In addition to writing my weekly column
and expanded audio horoscopes, I'm also working on a CD and promoting
my new book.
But I can recommend a colleague whose astro-aesthetics closely match
my own. She's RO LOUGHRAN.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a high
degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner wisdom.
Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.
Ro's website is at
http://www.yoursouljourney.com/
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
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anyone.
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2006 Rob Brezsny
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