Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology Newsletter
"Ultimately what we're touching is the invisible, all-pervasive Intelligence
that surrounds us and penetrates us. It is grooming us to be able to
tolerate its splendor. It can't just reveal itself openly because we would
be forfeited; we'd never know what hit us."
-Terence McKenna
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April 5, 2006
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http://www.freewillastrology.com
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Here is my upcoming public appearance:
On Sunday, April 16 and in the two weeks after that, local public radio
stations will air an interview with me. It's done by TO THE BEST OF OUR
KNOWLEDGE, a syndicated show that's produced by Wisconsin Public
Radio and distributed by Public Radio International.
Check the website for where it will appear on a station near you:
http://www.wpr.org/book/
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Here's an excerpt from my book
"PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings"
available at http://snipurl.com/krjj
or find out more at http://www.freewillastrology.com
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AMBIDEXTROUS PRONOIA THERAPY
Experiments and exercises in becoming a mysteriously truthful, teasingly
healing, fiercely magnanimous Master of Impartial Passion
1 What three ideas do you hate most? Pretend you believe those ideas
devoutly. Write about them as if they were the cornerstones of your
philosophy of life.
2 The Shinto monks of Iso, Japan, have a curious custom. Every 20 years
since the year 772, they've dismantled their central shrine and rebuilt it
from scratch. In so doing, they pass down the knowledge of their sacred
construction techniques from generation to generation. It's also an
effective way for the monks to participate eagerly in the transitoriness of
life, rather than merely being resigned to it. They practice the art of
death and rebirth not just in meditation but through a practical long-term
ritual.
Can you think of an analogous custom you might create for your personal
use?
3 There is a disproportionate abundance of evil stepmothers in traditional
fairy tales. Storyteller Michael Meade believes that's because the
stepmother is a symbol of the soul's nemesis, and everyone has a
nemesis. In fact, he says, we all need a nemesis to keep us honest, to
challenge our assumptions and call our bluffs. With this in mind,
brainstorm a short fairy tale in which you're honored by a visit from a
stepmother.
4 We're acquainted with a group of Hell's Angels that has a unique way of
honoring the deceased. Once a year the gang throws a party in the
cemetery where their fallen comrades are buried, pouring beer on and
snorting coke off their graves.
Think about developing a similar approach to dealing with the dead parts
of your own life. Don't just cry mournfully over the dreams and influences
that have helped make you what you are. Dance for them; sing for them;
leap into the air and kiss the sky for them.
5 Oceans are not exactly teeming with life. In fact, they're mostly barren,
and could rightly be called "wet deserts." Likewise, not all your emotions,
even those that come in floods, are fertile. Some are automatic reactions
that have discharged thousands of times since they were first
programmed into you many years ago. They're mechanical, not organic.
They became fixtures when you were a very different person than you are
now. Identify these.
6 We all have a war going on inside ourselves. What's yours? Is it a just
and fruitful war or a senseless and wasteful war, or both?
7 Hundreds of years ago, it was seemingly possible to buy forgiveness.
Until Martin Luther came along to spoil the fun, the Catholic Church used
to sell "indulgences," which buyers could supposedly trade in purgatory
for a reduced punishment for their earthly sins.
The forgiveness freaks at the Beauty and Truth Laboratory have revived
this practice in a mutated form. For the right price, we're able to
guarantee your absolution. To take advantage of our offer, simply send us
a million dollars for each sin you want to have forgiven.
There's just one condition: You can't pay us with the government's legal
tender. You must make the money—literally. Using crayons, paints,
scissors, glue, collage materials, or other media, create your own version
of large-denomination paper money. Instead of the images of politicians
that typically appear on government currency, draw pictures of your
muses and heroes and friends and pets. Rather than patriotic clichés and
meaningless decorative frills, add sayings and symbols that make you
happy. Be sure to write a description of the sin you want "indulged"
somewhere on the bill. Send your payment to the Beauty and Truth
Laboratory at P.O. Box 150628, San Rafael, CA 94915.
8 Many supposedly scientific debunkers deride astrology but have done
almost no research on the subject. That's one reason why these ill-
informed "skeptics" spread so many ignorant lies. For instance, they say
that astrologers think the stars and planets emit invisible beams that
affect people's lives. The truth is, most astrologers don't believe any such
thing.
Is there any way in which you engage in behavior similar to the lazy
debunkers? What subjects do you speak about with authority even
though you really don't know much about them? Do you ever spout
opinions about situations you've never experienced first-hand? Do you
pass judgment on ideas you've never studied and people you've never
spent time with? We all do these things—I confess to being guilty of it
myself—but this is your special time to make amends.
9 In our culture, vultures are considered ugly and disgusting. But in
ancient Egypt, they were sacred. Scholar Elinor Gadon says they were
called "compassionate purifiers." As devourers of corpses, they
transformed rotting flesh into usable energy, and expedited the soul's
transition to heaven. Queens of Egypt wore vulture headdresses to signify
their divine consecration.
How would you invoke the help of mythical vultures in your own life?
Here's one possibility. Meditate on death not as the end of physical life,
but as a metaphor for shedding what's outworn. In that light, what is the
best death you've ever experienced? What death would you like to enjoy
next?
10 In one old fairy tale, a virtuous hero throws a punch at an evil witch.
But because of her wizardry, the thrust of his fist boomerangs and he
smashes himself in the nose. Blood flows from his nostrils. He wipes it
with his fingertips and flings a few red drops in the witch's direction. This
is the unexpected magic that sends her fleeing. He's saved. Moral of the
story: The hero's self-wounding produces his ultimate protection. Give an
example of this theme at work in your own life.
11 The 17th-century surgeon Wilhelm Hilden had an interesting theory
about healing. He developed a medicinal salve that he applied not to the
wound itself but rather to the weapon that inflicted it. Though today we
may sneer at such foolishness, the fact is that Hilden's approach has
great potential if used for psychic wounds. Jesus understood this when he
articulated the revolutionary formula, "Love your enemy." More than any
other action, this strategy has the power to cure you of the distortions
your enemy has unleashed in you. Try it out.
12 "Every great player has a screw loose," said basketball coach Tara
VanDerveer. What's the loose screw in you that's most likely to lead you
to greatness?
13 Chaos comes in two varieties. One is destructive and disorienting; the
other is rejuvenating and exciting. Give examples of both from your own
life . . . .
TO READ THE REST OF THIS PIECE, GO HERE:
http://www.freewillastrology.com/beauty/
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To read other pieces from my book, go here:
http://snipurl.com/l9o3
or
http://freewillastrology.com/beauty/beauty.main145.shtml
To buy the book, use the links to Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble,
which are on my homepage at http://www.freewillastrology.com
Or cut and paste the direct links below:
AMAZON
http://snipurl.com/krjj
BARNES & NOBLE
http://snipurl.com/krjn
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OTHER PRONOIA RESOURCES:
WEBSITE
Jonathan Zap
http://www.zaporacle.com/
Dream worker extraordinaire, visionary philosopher
ALTERNATIVE NEWS
Rose-Colored News for Progressives
http://www.rosecolorednews.com/
ALTERNATIVE NEWS
OmPlace
http://www.omplace.com/home.shtml
WEBSITE
Shamantic Shift Center
http://www.shamantic.org/main.html
"Teaching universal animism, wild gnosis, shamanic alchemy, and spiritual
jesting amidst the ordinary, everyday."
WEBSITE
The Rebirth of Wonder
http://www.hermes-press.com/rebirth2.htm
An Anthology of Epiphanous Literature
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They're not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning April 6
Copyright 2006 by Rob Brezsny
http://www.freewillastrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): If you live to be 90 years old, you will have
spent a total of eight months sitting in your car stopped at red lights. In
addition, you will have wasted ten months standing in lines at stores,
banks, and government agencies, and you will have lost almost two years
killing time while hoping that a certain phone call, letter, or email will
arrive. That's the bad news, Aries. The good news is that few of those
agonizing pauses will be racked up in the near future. This is one time
when "no waiting" is the rule. You could make three months' progress in
15 days.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I once knew a psychic who worked with
people in comas. He contacted their spirits, which were wandering in
limbo between this world and the next, and tried to convince them to
either fully return to their bodies or else let their bodies die and formally
exit to the other side. The task you now face is nowhere as dramatically
life-and-death as that, Taurus, but it's comparable in a sense: Being
neither here nor there is a futile state that you shouldn't continue to
accept. Do what's necessary to make the knotty choice with as much
grace as possible.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Plato said God was a geometer who created an
ordered universe imbued with mathematical principles. Through the ages,
scientists who've dared to speak of a Supreme Being have sounded the
same theme. Galileo wrote, "To understand the universe, you must know
the language in which it is written. And that language is mathematics."
Modern physicist Stephen Hawking says that by using mathematical
theories to comprehend the nature of the cosmos, we're trying to know
"the mind of God." But philosopher Richard Tarnas proposes a different
model than these three. In his book *Cosmos and Psyche,* he suggests
that God is an artist--more in the mold of Shakespeare than Einstein. Your
assignment, Gemini, is to practice seeing the world like that: as a sublime
work of art crafted by a master of drama, suspense, and storytelling. In
my opinion, your life these days is a lyrical example of this divine craft.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): "All journeys have secret destinations of
which the traveler is unaware," wrote philosopher Martin Buber. That's
something you're on the verge of proving, Cancerian. Any day now I hope
you will discover the hidden truth about a treasure you didn't know
you've been searching for; you will stumble upon the surprising answer to
a riddle you hadn't even realized you desperately need to solve.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I had a dream about my three closest Leo friends.
In the dream, I was observing them as they wriggled out of cocoons that
were hanging from a large tree that resembled a dinosaur skeleton. They
were covered with feathers and their arms had turned into wings, though
they still had human faces. Once they were free of the cocoons, they
soared away. As I watched their ascent, my own arms began to transform
into feathered wings. I felt that I, too, would soon be able to fly. Here's
how I interpret my dream: You Leos are ready to take off, and your flights
will serve as inspiring examples to other people.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Did you ever get one of those spam emails
informing you that you've won the lottery in the Netherlands or that your
government is trying to locate you in order to give you the assets of a
distant relative who died and left you an inheritance? In the coming week,
you should be alert for messages that contain authentic versions of those
phony come-ons. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you
have become eligible for benefits you don't know about or have barely
guessed the existence of.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The World Conservation Union says that one
out of every eight of the Earth's plant species is facing extinction. The
threat is even higher in the U.S., where 29 percent are at risk. You may
imagine this has no impact on your personal life, but I believe your deep
self experiences it with tremendous sadness and loss. In accordance with
current astrological omens, you might consider addressing the situation
by revitalizing your connection to the plant world. Try singing to a
forsythia bush. Hug a cherry tree. Say a prayer for a garden. Eat a salad
or drink chamomile tea with reverent gratitude. Buy a new African violet
for your home.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your power animal is the Hawaiian fish known
as the humuhumunukunukuapuaa. It has two spines, and that'll be a good
symbol for you in the coming days: You'll need to have a powerful
backbone as you weather challenges to your integrity and authority. The
humuhumunukunukuapuaa is also able to wedge itself into tight spaces to
seek temporary refuge from its adversaries. That has a metaphorical
resemblance to a skill I hope you'll cultivate. Finally, the
humuhumunukunukuapuaa looks like a pig and makes pig-like grunts. You'll
benefit from having a similar ability to confound people about what kind
of animal you are. Having multiple identities will keep you strong.
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AUDIO LOVE LETTERS
In addition to the horoscopes that come to you in this newsletter, I create
more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. I think of them as
my love letters to you. They're $6 if you access them on the Web, or
$1.99 per minute over the phone.
For Web access, go here:
http://www.relationshipnetwork.com/horo/index.asp?client_id=50700
From the United States, call
1-900-950-7700
or if you prefer to pay by credit card
1-877-873-4888
If you live in Canada, call 1-888-499-4425 to purchase a Block of Time
with your credit card.
"Your expanded astrology thingees help me remember who I really am." -
Gareth N., Toronto
"I never knew it was possible to get my butt kicked and my head patted
at the same time -- until I listened to you, Rob." -Kristi P., Portland, OR
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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I'm not in the least sorry about that
time 15 years ago when Brandon and Anah and I jumped on the roof of a
stranger's BMW at 3 a.m. and belted out songs from "West Side Story."
Nor do I have any regrets about burning 37 dollar bills and kissing 32
people's asses at 2003's Burning Man festival during my Sacred Uproar
Revival show. I'm also at peace with scores of other past actions that
lacked decorum and dignity. According to my analysis of the astrological
omens, Sagittarius, it's a good time for you to do something similar:
Celebrate the outrageous, extreme, uninhibited things you've done that
caused no harm and raised the levels of fun in your part of the world.
Then go out and do some more.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Things you DON'T particularly need right
now: excuses to procrastinate; urges to retreat into hardened positions
and fixate on the way things used to be; a willingness to politely tolerate
control freaks; fantasies about changing the personalities of people you
love. Things you DO need: a windy day, a meadow, and a dragonish kite;
more raw curiosity and better questions; a slightly irrational diversion that
fires up your imagination; an idiosyncratic altar in your bedroom; more
gratitude for and intimacy with your muse; finger paint and five large
sheets of paper so you can illustrate your life story.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian actress and talk show host Tallulah
Bankhead (1902-1968) had a *lot* to say. According to her biographer
Joel Lobenthal in his book *Tallulah!: The Life and Times of a Leading
Lady,* she sometimes spoke nonstop for hours, and in the course of one
especially loquacious day uttered upwards of 70,000 words. Let's make
her your role model for the coming week, Aquarius. I believe it's your
sacred duty to express even more thoughts, jokes, observations, and
stream-of-consciousness messages than you usually do. *Fluency* is your
middle name.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My best friend in high school was James, a
Piscean artist. His work was so wild and beautiful that it scared his
parents. Instead of seeing him as he was--a budding creative genius--they
suffered from the delusion that he was mentally ill. They confined him to
an asylum and forced him to undergo shock treatments. Since they
thought I was a bad influence, they forbade us from having contact. I lost
track of him when I went to college, and later he dropped out of sight.
This week I decided to google James. I was ecstatic to find that he has
grown up big and strong. He's an inventor and philanthropist living in
Florida, having made loads of money from his numerous creations. In line
with your astrological omens, I nominate him to be your inspiration. May
his triumph over his past rouse you to recover some of the fullness of the
brilliance that was suppressed and wounded when you were young.
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HOMEWORK:
Compose a sincere prayer in which you ask for something you're not
supposed to. Email me by going to http://www.freewillastrology.com and
clicking on "Email Rob."
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THE BEST DREAM WORKER I'VE EVER KNOWN
Over the years, I've had the pleasure of working on my dreams with some
fine dream workers, but recently I discovered the best ever. His name is
Jonathan Zap.
Highly intuitive, schooled in the wisdom of archetypes, and really smart,
Jonathan has helped me crack the codes of some of my major dreams. His
cost is quite reasonable, too. I exuberantly recommend his services.
(He's not even paying me to say this. I'm simply motivated by the desire
to share his treasure with my readers.)
You can reach Jonathan at jonathanzap@hotmail.com
His homepage is at:
http://www.zaporacle.com/
Info about his dream work and other services are at:
http://www.zaporacle.com/textpattern/shop
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I totally respect your privacy. I'll never sell or give away your address to
anyone.
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Submissions sent to the Free Will Astrology Weekly Newsletter
or in response to "homework assignments" may be
published in a variety of formats at Rob Brezsny's discretion,
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Please be sure to note your preference when sending to us. We
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material.
Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2006 Rob Brezsny
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