Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology Newsletter
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August 10, 2005
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"PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings"
is the title of my new book.
For more info, or to buy the book, go to my website at
http://www.freewillastrology.com.
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Now here's an excerpt from the book:
UNABASHED PRONOIA THERAPY
1. Go to the ugliest or most forlorn place you know-a drugstore parking
lot, the front porch of a crack house, a toxic waste dump, or the place
that symbolizes your secret shame-and build a shrine devoted to
beauty, truth, and love.
Here are some suggestions about what to put in your shrine: a silk scarf;
a smooth rock on which you've inscribed a haiku or joke with a felt-tip
pen; coconut cookies or ginger candy; pumpkin seeds and an origami
crane; a green kite shaped like a dragon; a music CD you love; a photo of
your hero; a votive candle carved with your word of power; a rubber
ducky; a bouquet of fresh beets; a print of Van Gogh's Starry Night.
2. Late at night when there's no traffic, stride down the middle of an
empty road that by day is crawling with cars. Dance, careen, and sing
songs that fill you with pleasurable emotions. Splay your arms
triumphantly as you extemporize prayers in which you make extravagant
demands and promises. Give pet names to the trees you pass, declare
your admiration for the workers who made the road, and celebrate your
sovereignty over a territory that usually belongs to heavy machines and
their operators.
3. Where exactly does happiness come from? That's the riddle posed by
David Meyers and Ed Diener in their article, "The Science of Happiness,"
published in *The Futurist* magazine.
Write your answers to their question. Map out the foundations of your
own science of happiness. Get serious about defining what makes you feel
good. What specific experiences arouse your deepest gratification?
Physical pleasure? Seeking the truth? Being a good person?
Contemplating the meaning of life? Enjoying the fruits of your
accomplishments? Purging pent-up emotion?
4. Have you ever seen the game called "Playing the Dozens?" Participants
compete in the exercise of hurling witty insults at each other. Here are
some examples: "You're so dumb, if you spoke your mind you'd be
speechless." "Your mother is so old, she was a waitress at the Last
Supper." "You're so ugly, you couldn't get laid if you were a brick."
I invite you to rebel against any impulse in you that resonates with the
spirit of "Playing the Dozens." Instead, try a new game, "Paying the
Tributes." Choose worthy targets and ransack your imagination to come
up with smart, true, and amusing praise about them. The best stuff will be
specific to the person you're addressing, not generic, but here are some
prototypes: "You're so far-seeing, you can probably catch a glimpse of
the back of your own head." "You're so ingenious, you could use your
nightmares to get rich and famous." "Your mastery of pronoia is so artful,
you could convince me to love my worst enemy."
5. Salvador Dali once staged a party in which guests were told to come
disguised as characters from their nightmares. Do the reverse. Throw a
bash in which everyone is invited to arrive dressed as a character from
the best dream they remember.
6. "The messiah will come when we don't need him any more," wrote
Franz Kafka. Give your interpretation of his remark . . . .
. . . To read the rest of
"UNABASHED PRONOIA THERAPY," go here:
http://www.freewillastrology.com/beauty/
To read other pieces excerpted from
"PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia,"
go here:
http://www.freewillastrology.com/beauty/beauty.main145.shtml
To buy the book, use the links to Amazon.com and Powells, which are on
my homepage at http://www.freewillastrology.com
Or cut and paste the direct links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-
/1583941231/qid=1117646708/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-8504044-
3522341?v=glance&s=books
POWELLS
http://www.powells.com/biblio/2-1583941231-2
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Testimonial for Rob Brezsny and *PRONOIA Is the ANTIDOTE FOR
PARANOIA*
"In *Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia,* Brezsny tenderly leads us into
the practice of re-imagining the world as a compassionate miracle. It's the
best campaign platform I've heard in years. And the book offers a bevy of
ideas for tricksters to re-create the universe. Brezsny for president, I
say." -Chris Watson, "Santa Cruz Sentinel"
*
Dear Readers,
Here's how you can help me sell my new book:
1. Buy my book between now and August 31 and mail it to me. I'll
autograph it and inscribe it with a rowdy blessing, then send it back to
you. Please provide me with a large self-addressed envelope stamped with
$2.26 postage. (Or if you live in Canada, send $10 Canadian worth of
International Reply Coupons.)
2. Go into one of your local stores and buy at least 10 books to give as
gifts to your friends and loved ones. Send me the receipt. You will get a
free one-hour personal horoscope reading by phone with my personal
long-time astrology teacher, Ro Loughran. Her website is at
http://www.astrology-psychotherapy.com/
Here's the address to send the books you want me to sign or the receipt
that's proof you've bought 10 books in your local store: P.O. Box
150628, San Rafael, CA 94915.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning August 11
Copyright 2005 by Rob Brezsny
http://www.freewillastrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): You wouldn't plant a rosebush in a spot where
a geyser erupts periodically, would you? You wouldn't build a romantic
hideaway on the bank of a river that floods every year, right? So please
say you won't be careless as you track down the best place to express
your love and fertility in the future. Swear to me that you'll research the
possibilities with forethought and a passion for detail.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): About every 90 seconds, there's an
earthquake somewhere on the planet. Most are very small and aren't felt
by normal human beings. But I predict that in the coming days you may
actually be aware of those subtle tremors arising from deep in the planet-
-just as I expect you'll be highly attuned to every little change in the
weather and each minute shift in the emotional atmosphere of your
immediate environments. In fact, Taurus, you may soon be more sensitive
than you've been in years. You'll probably also be impressionable,
perceptive, empathetic, and even psychic.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The average major league baseball game lasts
nearly three hours, but the time when the ball is actually in play is only
about 10 minutes. In other words, there's a lot of waiting around between
brief flurries of activity. Sound familiar, Gemini? From what I can tell, your
life recently has had a lot of prolonged stretches when nothing much of
interest or importance has happened. I bet that will soon change, though.
According to my reading of the astrological omens, the action is about to
heat up. Get ready to score in double figures.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): After mating for the first and only time, a
young queen ant burrows underground, where she lays about 20 eggs a
day for 10 years. Sometimes you remind me of her, Cancerian--lately, for
instance. You have been animated by an almost insatiable drive to create.
You've been spinning out little miracles and making everything fresh again
and again and again. The astrological omens say you'll need to take a
break soon. Do this under your own power, please, so that fate doesn't
have to force you to do it.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "Dear Dr. Brezsny: I was wondering if you had any
information about Beyonders, people who were born under no star and
who are therefore not ruled by the stars. -Leo Goddess, a.k.a. Wannabe
Beyonder"
Dear Wannabe: It's impossible to be born under no star. However,
it's true that periodically we all go through periods when we're relatively
free from the authority of the stars we were born under. During these
times, we're less susceptible to the whims of fate and the demands of the
past and the compulsions of karma. Our willpower has more breathing
room. It happens to be one of those phases for you Leos right now. At
least temporarily, you're like a Beyonder.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Writing in *The New York Times,* Nicholas
Kristof reported that the media has been as guilty of ignoring the ongoing
genocide in Darfur as the Bush administration has been. In June, he said,
the main TV news programs collectively ran 55 times more stories about
the Michael Jackson trial than they did about East Africa's crisis. CBS gave
three minutes of coverage to Darfur in all of 2004, and NBC five minutes.
As soon as you finish reading this horoscope, Virgo, I hope you will take
aggressive action to avoid falling victim to equally misplaced priorities in
your personal life. Don't you dare let trivial spectacles divert you from
healing the sorest spot in your world.
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EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES
In addition to the written horoscopes you get in this newsletter, I offer
Expanded Audio Horoscopes. They're $6 if you access them on the Web,
or $1.99 per minute over the phone.
For Web access, go here:
http://www.relationshipnetwork.com/horo/index.asp?client_id=50700
From the United States, call
1-900-950-7700
or if you prefer to pay by credit card
1-877-873-4888
If you live in Canada, call 1-888-499-4425 to purchase a Block of Time
with your credit card.
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): This week's new word, class, is *bravura.*
Derived from an old Italian word for "bold," it has two meanings: (1) skill
and brilliance exhibited in a performance or task; (2) a display of
incredible daring. In the coming week, I urge you to write *I have bravura*
on your palm, on your mirror, and anywhere else your eyes frequently
gaze upon. If you keep reminding yourself that you now have the capacity
to pull off acts of bravura, you will in fact pull them off.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): It's unlikely that you or I or anyone we know
will become famous enough to earn a mention in the historical records of
the future. The odds are probably 10 million to 1. But if you do manage
to make such a prominent name for yourself that our descendants will be
able to read about your exploits and contributions, it could very well be
because of events you set in motion during the next six weeks. The
possibility that you will make a mark on eternity is as great as it has ever
been.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There's a three-mile stretch of
Interstate 880 south of Oakland, California that I call the Singing Highway.
For reasons I don't understand, it generates low humming melodies every
time I drive over it, similar to the guttural chants of Tibetan monks.
Sometimes I swear I can even hear lyrics. Today, for example, I was
driving to the airport. My mind turned to you, my Sagittarian readers.
Yours was the only horoscope I had left to write for this week, and to
pass the time I thought I'd scavenge around for fresh intuitions. Just then
I reached the Singing Highway, and I swear I began hearing the same lyric
repeating over and over again: "a shortcut to the path with heart/ a
shortcut to the path with heart/ a shortcut to the path with heart."
Coincidence? I don't think so.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Of all the animals in the world, the fly is
the most unloved. It annoys us with its zigzag buzzing. When it lands in
our food, we lose our appetite, knowing it carries residues of the
disgusting things it has preyed on. But in the creation story of the Chelan
Indians, the fly is given a heroic role to play because of its speed. In
modern parlance, people say they'd like to be a fly on the wall in a place
where an interesting conversation takes place. And the ancient Roman
poet Virgil had a pet fly that saved him a fortune. When the fly died, he
gave it a large funeral and declared its final resting place a cemetery,
thereby avoiding a sizable land tax through a legal loophole. In the coming
weeks, Capricorn, I predict you will find similar redemption in an influence
you have always regarded as comparable to the fly's.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): When rock star Courtney Love asked me for
advice about her relationship with rock star Trent Reznor a few years ago,
I told her the same thing I'll tell you now: Empty your brain of everything
you think you know about the person who both excites you and drives
you crazy. Drop all of your fantasies and projections and expectations. As
soon as you do, you will clearly see that person is not a diabolical angel
whose main task in life is to rouse your obsessive thoughts, but rather a
flawed human being who has only a partial resemblance to what you
imagine him or her to be. When you achieve that enlightened state, then
and only then will there be even a shred of hope that you two can have
an authentic, vital, mutually enriching relationship.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): According to my analysis of the astrological
omens, Pisces, the week ahead will be overflowing with paradox. Lucky
danger may be headed your way, or a risky opportunity that will feel like
an ordeal even as it brings out the best in you. I also wouldn't be
surprised if you had encounters with benevolent trouble, exacting love,
and weighty silliness. To thrive in the midst of these rich anomalies, you
should suspend any prejudices you might have against puzzling evidence.
Don't just tolerate the contradictions--love them.
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HOMEWORK:
Imagine a moral code rooted in beauty, love, pleasure, and liberation
instead of order, control, repression, and fear. Tell me about it by going
to http://www.freewillastrology.com and clicking on "Email Rob."
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anyone.
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Submissions sent to the Free Will Astrology Weekly Newsletter
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2005 Rob Brezsny
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