Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology Newsletter
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July 5, 2005
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"I am deeply inspired by the illuminated words of Rob Brezsny. He is a
word wizard for the soul." -SARK, author of "Succulent Wild Woman,"
"Eat Mangoes Naked," and "Change Your Life Without Getting Out of Bed"
"Now, you might think that 'PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia' is
some kind of mealy new-aged crap, or yet another 'business success/self-
help' rag. But you'd be wrong. Terribly wrong. It is, in fact, the most
marvelous inanimate object I think I've ever held in my hands." -Corinna
Bloom
"Rob Brezsny is a Culture Hero." -Utne Reader
Read all about it in the new book,
PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings
For more info about buying the book, go to the website:
http://www.freewillastrology.com.
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Dear Beauty and Truth and Love and Justice Fans,
1. Buy my new book between now and July 31 and mail it to me. I'll
autograph it and inscribe it with a rowdy blessing, then send it back to
you. Please provide me with a large self-addressed envelope stamped with
at least $2 postage. (Or if you live in Canada, send $10 Canadian worth of
International Reply Coupons.)
2. Go into one of your local stores and buy at least five books to give as
gifts to your friends and loved ones. Mail me the receipt. As your reward,
I'll then send you the following:
(a) a copy of my last book, "The Televisionary Oracle" and a copy of my
music CD, "Give Too Much."
(b) a Karmic Credit Card
(c) a signed copy of one of my "Free Will Astrology" columns. I'll choose a
column at random, or you can pick a favorite column from a particular
week. (Archives are located at
http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/horo-archive.html)
Here's the address to send the receipt that's proof you've bought at least
five books in your local store: P.O. Box 150628, San Rafael, CA 94915.
I'll pay for the postage and handling when I send you my gift package.
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Now here's an excerpt from
PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
I HAVE A DREAM
I have a dream that in the New World, there will be a new Bill of Rights.
The first amendment will be, "Your daily wage is directly tied to how much
beauty and truth and love you provide."
I have a dream that in the New World, childbirth will be broadcast in prime
time on a major TV network every night.
I have a dream that the New World will have rapturists, and they'll vastly
outnumber the terrorists. The rapturists will be performance artists with a
conscience ... charismatic improvisers who love to spring fun surprises.
They'll commit unexpected interventions and unscheduled spectacles that
delight hordes of strangers.
I have a dream that in the New World, we will add an eleventh
commandment to the standard ten: Thou shalt not bore God.
I have a dream of a week-long annual holiday called the Bacchanalia. Work
and business will be suspended so that all adults can explore their ripe
mojo with frothy erotic experiments. Tenderly orgiastic marathons will
rage unabated. Reverential ecstasy and grateful generosity will rule.
I have a dream that when anchormen report tragedies on their nightly TV
shows, they'll break down and cry and let their emotions show. No more
poker faces.
*
I have a dream that in the New World, plutocracy will be a felony. April
Fool's Day will come once a month. There'll be scientific horoscopes and
mystical logic. Every one of us will have at least one imaginary friend.
Compassion will be an aphrodisiac.
In the New World, we'll launch an affirmative action program that
ultimately makes most of us celebrities. Buddhist real estate developers
will build a chain of sacred shopping centers in the heartland. The CEOs of
the Fortune 500 companies will be required by law to enjoy once-a-week
sessions with Jungian psychotherapists. Pioneers in artificial intelligence
research will develop computers that can talk to God.
In the New World, same-sex marriages will be fully sanctioned, of course.
But why stop there? We'll also legalize wedding bonds among
threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, and large groups of people who are in
love with each other. I have a dream that we will expand the meaning of
love beyond anything our ancestors imagined.
*
I have a dream that in the New World, Oprah Winfrey will buy up all the
Pizza Huts on the planet and convert them into a global network of
menstrual huts, where for a few days each month, every one of us, men
and women alike, can resign from the crazy-making 9-5-drop out and
slow down, break trance and dive down into eternal time . . .
To read the entirety of "I HAVE A DREAM," excerpted from
PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia, go here:
http://www.freewillastrology.com/beauty/
To buy the book, use the links to Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and
Powells, which are on my homepage at http://www.freewillastrology.com.
Or here are the direct links:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-
/1583941231/qid=1117646708/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-8504044-
3522341?v=glance&s=books
BARNES & NOBLE
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=Pb
6oZrnAQk&isbn=1583941231&itm=2
POWELLS
http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/biblio?inkey=2-1583941231-2
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning July 6
Copyright 2005 by Rob Brezsny
http://www.freewillastrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Professional basketball player Tim Duncan has
a nickname that I invite you to take on for the next two weeks: The Big
Fundamental. To live up to the daunting yet fun responsibility of that
title, you'll have to put on your game face and get waaayyy down to
basics. Banish distractions, purge the inessential, and cut the crap. Give
yourself with ferocious impeccability to the Three Things That Matter
Most, and do it with a raging integrity that will scare away all the phonies,
lazybones, and ethically challenged mediocrities.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When my Taurus daughter Zoe was seven
years old, I detected signs that her natural inclination to be kind and
gentle was beginning to slip into passive docility. I wondered whether I
could or should do anything to nurture what astrologers call the Mars
energy--the forceful, willful aspect of her psyche. As an experiment, I had
her throw baseballs as hard as she could against the side of the house. I
bought her a punching bag and encouraged her to smash it. Seven years
later, she's as kind and gentle as ever, but also has an indomitable
strength and forceful grace. Her Mars force is fully awake. Did my
experiments have anything to do with it? Just in case they did, try
something similar, Taurus. In the most constructive way possible, feed
your aggressiveness.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A young goth woman was weaving her bicycle
through heavy traffic. She was talking on a cell phone with her left hand
and smoking a cigarette with her right. Watching from my Honda, I
marveled at how well she maneuvered without the guiding influence of her
hands on the handlebars. I stopped next to her at a red light, and was
further impressed when she pulled out a candy bar and a small book of
poems by Charles Baudelaire. For a minute or so, she smoked, ate, read,
and chatted on her phone. Just before the light changed, I leaned out the
window and said, "You're not a Gemini, are you?" "Yeah," she replied. "Of
course. How did you know?" I knew because not only are you the zodiac's
best multitasker, you're also at the very peak of your ability to do five
things at once.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): One of your lifelong projects is to learn the
art of keeping proper boundaries. That doesn't always come easy for you.
In your subconscious mind you're often thinking, "I can't figure out where
I leave off and everyone else begins." Having sounded this warning,
though, I'll now advise you to completely surrender to the urge to merge,
at least temporarily. Blend, connect, and commune with abandon. Write
this declaration by sculptor Malvina Hoffman on your arm: "My true center
is an enormous capacity for falling in love with everything around me."
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Since 1921, the official length of a marathon race
held anywhere in the world has been 26.2 miles. Runners train for that
specific distance. That's why many participants in this year's Lakeshore
Marathon in Chicago were confused at the end of the race. Their times
were surprisingly slow and they were more fatigued than they'd
anticipated. It was only a few days later that marathon officials
announced the course had been laid out mistakenly: There was an extra
mile. I think you can expect an analogous development in your life, Leo.
The finish line will be farther than you expected--maybe farther than is
fair. Should you stop before the end and complain? Or should you
complete the task and then complain? I'll leave that up to you.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): For a time, my new book *Pronoia is the
Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You
with Blessings* was #12 on the bestseller list at Powells.com. Right
behind it at #13 was James Howard Kunstler's *The Long Emergency:
Surviving the Converging Catastrophes of the Twenty-First Century.* That
snapshot of book buyers' schizophrenic inclinations has a resemblance to
your outlook, Virgo. Half of you is overflowing with a talent for cultivating
intelligent hope, while the other half is always preparing for the worst.
Being as objective as an optimist like me can be, I firmly believe you
should adjust the ratio. According to the astrological omens, the right
approach is to be 90 percent devoted to expecting the best and 10
percent invested in guarding yourself against trouble.
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EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES
In addition to the written horoscopes you get in this newsletter, I offer
Expanded Audio Horoscopes. They're $6 if you access them on the Web,
or $1.99 per minute over the phone.
For Web access, go here:
http://www.relationshipnetwork.com/horo/index.asp?client_id=50700
From the United States, call
1-900-950-7700
or if you prefer to pay by credit card
1-877-873-4888
If you live in Canada, call 1-888-499-4425 to purchase a Block of Time
with your credit card.
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Seven years ago, Random House announced its
"Modern Library 100 Best Books of the 20th Century: Fiction." In this
collection, 91 texts were written in English by white males. I suppose
there's a remote possibility that's an accurate inventory, though I doubt
it. But whether it is or not, I feel it's critical to the health of our culture
and even our planet that the best books of the 21st century will be
authored by a far more diverse mix. And what, you may ask, does this
have to do with your personal destiny in July 2005? The astrological
omens say it's a perfect moment to decide what you'll do in the coming
years to contribute to a world in which white men who speak English
don't run everything. (P.S. This is crucial even if you yourself are an
English-speaking white man.)
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): At Tufts Educational Day Care in Somerville,
MA, kids from ages three to five have to sign contracts guaranteeing their
good behavior. "I know how to listen to my teachers," they promise.
"When my teachers talk to me, I will not scream, try to hit, or say, 'you're
not my boss.'" I'd like you to ask both your inner child and your inner
teenager to make a similar vow right now, Scorpio. There are valuable
teachers hovering in your vicinity. Some may have educational techniques
that are less than adroit, but they all deserve your close, sincere, and
humble attention.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In the Netherlands, people often give
each other three kisses when they meet, two on the cheek and one on
the lips. A Dutch prude named Dolph Kohnstamm is mad about it, and has
launched a campaign to squash the custom. "Foreigners are quite upset
when they have to give three kisses," he rants, "especially when the third
kiss is on the mouth." In solidarity with naturally affectionate Dutch
people, and in response to the lovey-dovey astrological omens now
coming to bear on you Sagittarians, I request that you dole out scores of
triple kisses in the coming week.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Sometimes we have a strong sense of
what our destiny is calling us to do, but we don't feel quite ready or brave
enough to answer the call. We need a push, an intervention, a
serendipitous stroke--what I call *fate bait.* It's a person or event that
awakens our dormant willpower and draws us inexorably towards our fate;
it's a thunderbolt or siren song or stage whisper that gives us a good
excuse to go do what we know we should do. I suspect that you,
Capricorn, are about to meet your fate bait.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Please repeat the following affirmation, first
articulated by poet Robert Frost: "I am not confused. I am just well
mixed." Say it aloud at least ten times a day for the next week. It will help
you put a positive spin on certain events that might otherwise throw you
off balance. Your next medicinal sound bite comes from playwright W.S.
Gilbert: "I am rich in never-ending unrest." This one will encourage you to
regard your turbulence as a creative gift, not a pathological distraction.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): It's a hang-your-head-out-the-window-of-a-
speeding-car-like-a-golden-retriever kind of week. You should make
yourself as innocent and unselfconscious as possible as you seek out
simple, intense pleasures, whether that's letting the wind rush over your
face or soaking up the spray of a waterfall or getting a massage every
single day or standing near the stage at a live concert so the raw music
can surge through you. The object is to scour out your mind with vivid
sensations, allowing you to become as empty and fresh as possible.
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HOMEWORK:
Send news of your favorite mystery--an enigma that is both maddening
and delightful. Testify by going to http://www.freewillastrology.com and
clicking on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing charts these days. In addition to writing my weekly column
and expanded audio horoscopes, I'm also working on a CD and promoting
my new book.
But I can recommend a colleague whose astro-aesthetics closely match
my own. She's RO LOUGHRAN.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a high
degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner wisdom. In addition to over 20 years of
astrological experience, Ro is also a licensed psychotherapist, allowing her
to integrate psychological insight with the cosmological perspective that
astrology offers.
Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.
Ro's website is at
http://www.astrology-psychotherapy.com/
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
Namaste,
Rob
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I totally respect your privacy. I'll never sell or give away your address to
anyone.
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Submissions sent to the Free Will Astrology Weekly Newsletter
or in response to "homework assignments" may be
published in a variety of formats at Rob Brezsny's discretion,
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Please be sure to note your preference when sending to us. We
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2005 Rob Brezsny
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