Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology Newsletter
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April 21, 2004
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"Art that doesn't attempt the impossible is not performing its function."
- William Butler Yeats
"Thanks to impermanence, everything is possible."
- Thich Nhat Hanh
"Expect the unexpected or you won't find it."
- Heraclitus
"The Gracehoper was always jigging ajog, hoppy on akkant of his
joyicity."
- James Joyce, *Finnegans Wake*
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week of April 22
Copyright 2004 by Rob Brezsny
www.freewillastrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don't try to rob a bank this week, Aries.
The astrological omens indicate you'd have a very low chance at
succeeding, and besides, it's wrong. I also discourage you from buying
hundreds of lottery tickets, selling your childhood collection of Barbie
dolls or baseball cards, or wheedling your aging relatives into giving you
your inheritance before they die. The cosmic forces *are* showing signs
of coalescing in a way that will bring you financial gain. But in my
opinion they'll only do so if you sit down and plot out a sensible,
disciplined, ethical master plan.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Your most important accomplishment this
year has been a deepening of your capacity for love. That alone should
inspire you to leap up in the air and sing a song of joy. More and more you
understand that in order to get the passionate affection you want, you
simply have to give the passionate affection you want. If you continue to
expand your generosity in the coming months, Taurus, you will receive a
flood of evidence about how beautiful you really are. That, in turn, will
ensure that the influences you want to bring into your life will also be
good for you.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): It's molting time, Gemini. If you were a bird,
you'd lose your worn-out feathers and sprout a fresh batch. If you were a
snake, you'd shed your old skin to make way for the new. If you were a
lobster, you'd slough off your exoskeleton because it was constraining
your ability to grow, then replace it with a bigger version. So what's your
personal version of molting? Maybe some aspect of your persona needs to
be cast off. Or maybe some armor that previously shielded you has begun
to cramp your style. It won't happen overnight, and you'll feel vulnerable
during the transition. But the process is perfectly normal; indeed, it's
essential for your health.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): The DuPont company has patents on 17
varieties of corn. Yoga teacher Bikram Choudhury has copyrighted and
trademarked his poses and breathing techniques. Corporations are
acquiring private ownership of fresh water that once belonged to local
communities. McDonald's virtually owns the prefix "Mc," and sues new
businesses with names that begin with those two letters. In the
entrepreneurial spirit of these big thinkers, and by the authority of the
planetary gods, I hereby present you Cancerians with full possession of
the Dionysian spirit, good for the next four weeks. Now go party harder
and smarter than you've ever dared.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Artist and filmmaker Andy Warhol was, like
you, born under the sign of Leo. One of his goals in life was to blur the
distinction between fine art and pop culture. The fact that his paintings of
Campbell's soup cans hang in prestigious museums proves he succeeded.
My analysis of the astrological omens suggests that you'd be wise to
imitate his method this week. In whatever way is most fun for you, bring
high and low together; blend what's sophisticated and casual; do
experiments that synthesize the sublime and the ordinary.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You have two options to choose from, Virgo.
The contrast between them reminds me of the difference between two
singers, Norah Jones and Ani DiFranco. Jones's work is "tasteful and
listenable," said the *New York Times,* though "Nothing much happens in
her songs." ShakingThrough.net wrote that though Jones can be maudlin
and subdued, she creates "a winning collection of polished (albeit
innocuous) gems." About Ani DiFranco, the *New York Times* noted that
"It's worth putting up with a few overbearing moments to hear someone so
willing to take chances." *Billboard* said DiFranco's latest CD is "raw --
for better (the immediacy of the performance) and worse (traces of off-
key harmonies)." So which way will you go, Virgo: bland and classy like
Jones, or rough and stimulating like DiFranco?
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In addition to the written horoscopes you find here, I create longer, more
in-depth audio horoscopes. They cost $6 a pop if you access them on the
Web via RealAudio or $1.99 per minute if you want them over the phone.
For Web access, go here:
http://www.relationshipnetwork.com/horo/index.asp?client_id=50700
From the United States, call
1-900-950-7700.
If you have a 900# block on your phone or prefer to pay by credit card,
there's another way to access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes by phone.
Call 1-877-873-4888 to buy the amount of time that best suits you.
If you live in Canada, call 1-888-499-4425 to purchase a Block of Time
with your credit card.
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): It's time to rise up and fight back, Libra.
Maybe there used to be semi-good reasons for you to endure the abuse, but
they have become irrelevant. Draw inspiration from the Brazilian crowds
that beat up the sharks that were stalking swimmers at a Rio de Janeiro
beach. Be as fierce as the Philadelphia schoolgirls who pursued and
pummeled the pervert who'd been exposing himself to them.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Back in 1987, my life in Santa Cruz was
carefree. I loved being an unemployed bohemian with lots of leisure time
to write poetry and play music. One summer day, while working on a new
song, I heard my doorbell ring. Opening the door, I found a man in a hooded
trench coat aiming a slingshot at me. As my knees collapsed and my heart
raced, he lowered the slingshot, removed his hood, and chuckled, "Made
you flinch!" It was my Scorpio pal, Fred, the poet who loved to play
practical jokes to keep his friends on their toes. He said he couldn't stay -
- had just come by to make sure I wasn't getting too comfortable. When he
left, I went into a creative frenzy and wrote three songs in an hour. In the
coming week, I foresee you encountering a milder version of Fred's style
of inspiration, which will unleash a similar burst of productive energy.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): It's time to update that pessimistic set
of formulas known as Murphy's Laws. In the old version, the rule was: "If
anything can go wrong, it will." The new, improved version, which you
will soon exemplify, is "If anything can go wrong, it will, but in
correcting it you will stumble upon a lucky break you wouldn't have
encountered otherwise." Here are other Murphy's Laws to revise,
Sagittarius. Old version: "Everything takes longer than you think." New
version: "Everything takes longer than you think, which is a good thing,
because if it took only as long as you thought, you wouldn't be doing it
right." Old version: "You will always find something in the last place you
look." New version: "You will often find something in the last place you
look, but along the way you'll discover a valuable item you didn't realize
was missing."
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If you're average, 90 industrial
compounds and pollutants are circulating through your body. You also
have the residues of 20 million advertisements and 200,000 televised
acts of violence stored in your brain. That's the bad news, Capricorn. The
good news is that you'll soon have an abundance of experiences that are
highly effective at neutralizing toxins. I'm referring to encounters with
play, delight, and love. Rejoice in the fact that every time you grin,
giggle, or chuckle in the coming weeks, you'll purge a nasty influence that
had been sapping your energy. A single belly laugh could flush out 50,000
commercials.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): John Goldhammer is a psychotherapist who
specializes in working with patients' dreams. Over the course of 25
years, he has concluded that there is one sure way to free yourself from a
recurring nightmare: Stop running away from the monster that's chasing
you. The moment you're able to change your behavior in the dream -- to
turn and face the monster, maybe even embrace it or give it a gift -- the
haunting will end; you'll never have the nightmare again. I'd like you to
apply this approach in your waking life, Aquarius: Turn and face the
uncomfortable truth that's plaguing you. Maybe even express your love
and gratitude for it.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Geminis often get credited with being the
most versatile sign of the zodiac, but you Pisceans are strong competitors
for the title. These days, in fact, your patron saint is the recently
deceased George Plimpton. That chameleon-like bon vivant, who had four
planets in Pisces, was not only a writer. He also performed as a circus
trapeze artist and stand-up comedian, played percussion in a symphony,
drove racecars, acted in movies and TV, and competed in exhibition games
with professional boxers and football players. Are you ready to claim
more of your astrological potential with a Plimpton-like exuberance?
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HOMEWORK:
Homework: Of all the ridiculous situations you've ever been in, which one
is your favorite? Testify by going to www.freewillastrology.com and
clicking on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing charts these days. In addition to writing my weekly column
and expanded audio horoscopes, I'm also working on a book and CD.
But I can recommend a colleague whose astro-aesthetics closely match my
own. She's RO LOUGHRAN.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a
high degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is
skilled at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing
your connection with your own inner wisdom. In addition to over 20 years
of astrological experience, Ro is also a licensed psychotherapist, allowing
her to integrate psychological insight with the cosmological perspective
that astrology offers.
Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.
Ro's website is at
http://www.astrology-psychotherapy.com/
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
Namaste,
Rob
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You can also do your own chart with AstroGraph's TimePassages, the
software I use to cast charts. TimePassages is suitable for both novices --
it provides written interpretations of your aspects -- as well as
professionals who need calculations of natal charts, transits, and more.
TimePassages is at http://www.astrograph.com. Click on "Order."
Or go directly to the order page at
http://www.astrograph.com/cgi-
bin/soft_form.cgi?from=FreeWillAstrology?where=soft_form
And please put "Rob Brezsny" or "Free Will Astrology" in the "Referral"
box.
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2004 Rob Brezsny
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