Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology Newsletter
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January 14, 2004
www.freewillastrology.com
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"The future enters into us, in order to transform itself in us, long before
it happens. "
-Rainer Maria Rilke
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week of January 15
Copyright 2004 by Rob Brezsny
www.freewillastrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries actress Sarah Jessica Parker
announced recently that she washes her hair with Mane 'N' Tail shampoo,
a product made for horses. I recommend that you consider switching to it,
too. It's time to please your inner thoroughbred, whose animal
intelligence and wild vitality will be essential to you in the coming weeks.
You're finally ready to activate higher levels of ambition; to enter a
bigger race for a better prize.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King"
is one of the most popular and critically acclaimed movies released in
2003. Yet some of its fervent fans have come forward to identify its many
problems with continuity. Did you notice that Frodo's scar migrates from
his right cheek in one scene to his left cheek in a later scene? That's just
one of over 30 flaws registered by readers of the moviemistakes.com
website. I applaud this effort. I've always believed that the most useful
critiques often come from people who deeply appreciate the subject
they're critiquing. This so happens to be your mandate in the coming
week, Taurus: Compassionately assess what needs improvement about
everything you love.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): My survey of New Year's resolutions by
Geminis reveals some surprising trends. Twenty-one percent of you have
vowed to lose weight in 2004, but 26 percent of you hope to *gain*
weight. Thirty-six percent of you plan to launch a new hobby, whereas
58 percent want to get rid of one of your hobbies so as to have more time
for the others. While 31 percent of you are plotting to supercharge your
ambitions or career, 42 percent of you are quite sure you want to work
less and cultivate more leisure and luxury. Finally, 16 percent of you
want more "espresso sex" -- quickies with casual acquaintances -- while
69 percent have your hearts set on deep, slow, cozy love-making with
emotionally intelligent partners who crave cuddling.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): The "Weekly World News" reports that U.S.
President George W. Bush, the world's most famous Cancer, plans to
invade the moon and declare it the 51st state. To fill the office of the
moon's live-in governor, Bush intends to appoint his former foe Al Gore,
who garnered 540,520 more votes than the President in the election of
2000. In the weeks ahead, I urge you Crabs to come up with an equally
nutty and brilliant strategy as you expand your empire to exotic new
locales and shake off old adversaries.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "Dear Doctor Rob: I'm battling mixed emotions.
On the one hand, I have frequent surges of intense compassion that make
me want to build houses for poor folks. On the other hand, I'm beset by
flashes of vanity that make me want to spend my money on Prada shoes and
expensive jewelry rather than on trips to Third World countries to help
Habitat for Humanity. Is it crazy and self-defeating to want both things?
-Guilty Leo"
Dear Guilty Leo: You've summed up a dilemma that many Leos are
wrestling with. My advice? Honor both your urge to express beauty and
your desire to aid your fellow humans. I have a vision of you wearing a
gold tiara and Prada's Sculpted d'Orsay pumps as you frame a wall for a
new house in Haiti.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I predict that 2004's mysterious gifts will
free you from your old self. At least one of your inhibitions will
disappear. Attacks of self-consciousness will diminish in frequency and
intensity. You'll realize how fun it is to rebel against your antiquated
image. The only new taboo you might take on is a taboo against imitating
the overused shticks that have worked for you in the past. Because of these
explosive improvements in your relationship with brash spontaneity, you
may be ready to acquire your *porn name.* Here are two suggestions
about how to generate the new moniker. 1. Combine the name of your first
pet with the name of the street where you lost your virginity. 2. Go to
www.mypornname.com and follow the directions.
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EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES
For web access to my Expanded Audio Horoscopes, go here:
http://www.relationshipnetwork.com/horo/index.asp?client_id=50700
You can also hear my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM FORECASTS for your life in
2004 .
To hear your long-term forecast, go here:
http://www.relationshipnetwork.com/horo/index.asp?client_id=50700
Then click on your sign.
Then click on "Part 1 (from 12/16/2003)" to hear Part One of my
LONG-TERM FORECAST for your life in 2004.
Click on "Part 2 (from 12/23/2003)" to hear Part Two of my LONG-
TERM FORECAST for your life in 2004.
Click on "Part 3 (from 12/30/2003)" to hear Part Three of my LONG-
TERM FORECAST for your life in 2004.
or click on "Hear This Week's Horoscope" to hear this week's horoscope.
Each reading costs $6.
You can also access the weekly forecasts on the phone for $1.99 per
minute.
From the United States, call
1-900-950-7700.
If you live in Canada, call 1-888-499-4425 to purchase a Block of
Time.
If you have a 900# block on your phone or prefer to use your credit card,
there's another way to access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes by phone.
Call 1-877-873-4888 to buy the amount of time that best suits you.
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): To frame your assignment this week, I'm
plundering an old horoscope from "The Onion" (www.theonion.com),
America's finest source of news and entertainment. "Even the mighty
Ozymandias, king of kings, was brought low by time," the 'scope read. "If
possible, live your life without this mysterious phenomenon." To help you
carry out this difficult but rewarding task, Libra, here are a few tips: 1.
In your initial attempt, don't overdo it. Spend no more than three days
eluding the oppressive grip of time. 2. Hide all clocks and watches. 3. Read
historical novels and watch movies set in other eras. 4. Fantasize about
what you were in your previous incarnations and what you'll be in your
future lives. 5. Meditate on Plato's idea that "Time is a moving image of
eternity."
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): "When in a doughnut-eating competition,"
writes Esquire's Cal Fussman, "press down hard on each one before biting
into it. If you don't, the air inside will bloat your belly and you'll get
blown out after six." I suggest you regard this as your metaphor to live by
in the coming week, Scorpio. Squeeze out all the filler that might dilute
your enjoyment of the really killer stuff. Don't get bogged down in empty
symbolism and vacant fantasies that wear down your competitive edge.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In Greek myth, Psyche was a pure-
hearted young woman whose misadventures with love got her into trouble.
One day she found herself at the mercy of the goddess Aphrodite, who
commanded her to sort a big heap of mixed millet, wheat, and poppy seeds
into separate piles. You're now in a situation that reminds me of Psyche's
predicament, Sagittarius. Is there any hope for you to complete your own
version of this seemingly impossible task? Yes, there is -- especially if
you garner the kind of help that Psyche did. Feeling compassion for her
plight, thousands of ants swarmed to her aid, separating the seeds for her
overnight. Can you call on an equivalent ally?
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You now have the power to design and
implement a fresh version of fate for yourself. This window of
opportunity won't last long, though, so I suggest you act with swift
decisiveness. To guide your work, I offer two observations. The first is
from Alan Kay, who conceived the laptop computer: "The best way to
predict the future is to invent it." The second is my paraphrase of
astrologer Hadley Fitzgerald's paraphrase of Ram Dass: "On the one hand,
everything is preordained. On the other hand you have complete free will.
When you truly grasp that paradox, you're no longer a slave of your
conditioning."
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian singer Justin Timberlake
suffered a temporary blow to his reputation last November. Speaking to
ABC-TV's Diane Sawyer, his ex-lover Britney Spears implied that he is
under-endowed in a part of his anatomy that most men take very
seriously. It didn't take long for Timberlake's grandmother to come to his
defense. "I helped raise him, and I can assure you that there's nothing
wrong with him physically," 70-year-old Sadie Bomar told the press. I
predict you will soon undergo a similar fall and redemption, Aquarius.
Start rounding up the allies you will want to testify in your behalf.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): "Thinking outside of the box presupposes
you were able to think *in* it." This gem from automotive executive Bob
Lutz sets the tone for your new plan of action, Pisces. In the coming week,
you should concentrate on understanding your life's long-term trends
from an inside-the-box perspective. Stick closely to what you actually
know, as opposed to what you might speculate or fantasize. Confine your
analysis to the data you can definitely confirm. Starting next week, it'll be
time to think outside the box. Having prepared a strong foundation, you
will have ensured that your imagination will provide useful visions when
you finally unleash it.
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HOMEWORK: Talk about how you plan to put your political principles into
action in the next 12 months. Testify by going to
www.freewillastrology.com and clicking on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing charts these days. In addition to writing my weekly column
and expanded audio horoscopes, I'm also working on a book and CD.
But I can recommend a colleague whose astro-aesthetics closely match my
own. She's RO LOUGHRAN.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a
high degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is
skilled at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing
your connection with your own inner wisdom. In addition to over 20 years
of astrological experience, Ro is also a licensed psychotherapist, allowing
her to integrate psychological insight with the cosmological perspective
that astrology offers.
Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.
Ro's website is at
http://www.astrology-psychotherapy.com/
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
Namaste,
Rob
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2004 Rob Brezsny
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