Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
We here at Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology Newsletter
are looking for the answers
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December 31, 2003
www.freewillastrology.com
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EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES FOR THE COMING YEAR
What hidden factors will be massaging your destiny in 2004? Could you
use some hints about how to prepare for the adventures awaiting you in
the next 12 months?
This week I'll be exploring Part Three of the BIG PICTURE of your life in
my Expanded Audio Horoscopes. If, like most of us, you slip into a
philosophical, visionary mood at the end of each year, you might
appreciate my tender loving perspectives on your long-term destiny.
My IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM FORECASTS FOR YOUR LIFE IN 2004 cost $6
a pop if you access them on the Web via RealAudio, or $1.99 per minute if
you want them over the phone.
For web access, go here:
http://www.relationshipnetwork.com/horo/index.asp?client_id=50700
From the United States, call
1-900-950-7700.
If you have a 900# block on your phone or prefer to use your credit card,
there's another way to access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes by phone.
Using your credit card, call 1-877-873-4888 to buy the amount of
time that best suits you.
If you live in Canada, call 1-888-499-4425 to purchase a Block of
Time.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week of January 1
Copyright 2003, 2004 by Rob Brezsny
www.freewillastrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): I saw my Aries friend Alexis yesterday.
"You're even more festive than the last time I saw you," I told her. She had
on red silk pants, a burgundy cashmere sweater, silver scarf, black
snakeskin boots, and beaded black tunic. I noticed several new piercings
and a Hindu-style red dot on her forehead just above her eyes. She also
happened to be carrying her snake, which was wrapped around her arm.
"The older I get, the freer I am to hide nothing about how I really feel,"
she replied. "It's not even rebellion any more -- it's generosity. I have
this sense that the world *needs* me to express my most extravagant
self." I nominate Alexis to be your patron saint in 2004, Aries.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): How have you measured your progress over
the years, Taurus? Report cards, diplomas, certificates, and plaques?
Pay raises, VIP friends, new titles, and nicer cars? Or have your
benchmarks of success been subtler, like rising levels of self-love, a
growing capacity for intimacy, more robust health, and friendships with
people who bring out the best in you? Whatever signs you have relied on,
I ask you to set them aside in 2004. Empty your mind completely so that
you will be fully receptive to fresh intuitions about how to evaluate your
ongoing evolution.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): My orphan friend Elektra has no idea when
she was born and therefore doesn't know what sign she is. While there are
drawbacks to this, it has advantages, too. She celebrates her birthday once
every month, for instance. She also reads all twelve of my horoscopes
each week and heeds only the ones she likes. I suggest you adopt her
approach in 2004, Gemini. To do so would make perfect astrological
sense. This week you could act like an assertive, single-minded Aries.
Next week you might want to be an organized and disciplined Capricorn.
By mid-January you could thrive on playing the part of a willful,
mysterious Scorpio. All the world will be your stage in 2004. You should
relish the host of roles available to you.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian actress Pamela Anderson has
become a Sunday school teacher who reads the Bible to kids. While some
might wonder if the former Playboy centerfold has reformed and others
might call her a hypocrite, she told the BBC there's no incongruity
between her sexy image and her faith in God. I urge you to be inspired by
Anderson's example in 2004, my fellow Crabs. You have the possibility of
playing two different roles that many people imagine are incompatible.
Who cares what they think? You can definitely go both ways without being
either a contradiction or a fake.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Three weeks in a row, a Leo woman in Romania
watched a TV horoscope show that assured her she would soon receive a
windfall. No free money ever arrived, though, so she lodged a protest with
a local consumer protection agency. Officials there in turn advised the
horoscope show's programmers to issue a disclaimer stating that their
predictions may not be 100 percent accurate. I suppose I should make a
similar announcement here, even though I'm pretty sure the prophecy I'm
about to make will be fulfilled. If you vow to work smarter (not harder)
and shed illusory hopes that free money might come your way
unexpectedly, you will get richer quicker in 2004.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): One of your most wonderful qualities is your
aptitude for helping people. It's also the part of your nature that is most
likely to be abused by charming narcissists and charismatic
manipulators. But in 2004, you will have a knack for freeing yourself
from these oppressors. You'll be able to spot potential new ones from a
mile away, and you'll know how to break the hold that the old ones have on
you. Take this pledge now: "I will serve only the smart, effective people
who also serve me."
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I invite you to meditate on death not as the end
of your actual physical life, but as a metaphor for killing off beliefs and
habits that are outworn burdens. Once you've come to understand that this
kind of death is an ally you'd be wise to have by your side all the time,
you'll be able to enjoy the rest of this horoscope. Seriously, Libra. Don't
read on until you are convinced that the "good death" I described is an
asset you want. Ready? Your assignment in the first two-thirds of 2004
is to die at least once every month. If you do it right -- that is to say,
with grace and flair -- you will be blessed with a glorious rebirth by
next October.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scorpio actress Chloe Sevigny has a unique
relationship with the Ten Commandments. Judging from the fact that she's
a Catholic who goes to Mass, she seems to regard them as important. On
the other hand, she told a Rolling Stone reporter, "I interpret the Ten
Commandments pretty loosely. Actually, I interpret them in any way that
helps me." Sevigny's approach won't work for you in 2004, Scorpio. If
you want to align yourself harmoniously with cosmic forces, you should
either take your moral code very seriously, or else abandon it altogether
and find a new one you can totally commit to.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Thirty-six-year-old Dale Peck is an
author with an extremely high sense of self-worth. He has written
several novels that he describes as "among the best books published in the
last ten years." He has also penned many book reviews replete with
caustic and derisive dismissals of modern literary giants, including
Faulkner, Nabokov, DeLillo, Barthelme, and Pynchon. He calls James
Joyce's *Ulysses* "diarrheic flow," and rips Rick Moody as "the worst
writer of his generation." I bring Peck to your attention, Sagittarius,
because I believe you should study him as a model of both what to do and
what not to do in 2004. Aspire to achieve his abundant confidence, yes,
but root it in self-love, not a contemptuous sense of superiority towards
others.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): San Francisco Chronicle columnist Tom
Stienstra writes about the great outdoors. He sometimes makes long-term
weather forecasts by analyzing natural phenomena like the quality of red
onion skins, the thickness of winter coats on coyotes and deer, and the
difference between sea and land temperatures in coastal areas. I, too, like
to factor in clues like this with my astrological evaluations. To gauge your
prospects for the coming months, I've gathered information on eagle
nests, the horns of mountain goats, and cloud patterns over wild places
with no roads. I conclude that for you to be in maximum harmony with
cosmic rhythms in 2004, you should spend a lot of time wandering in the
great outdoors.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): As an Aquarius, you have a tendency to be
ahead of your time. Sometimes that's an asset, like when you readily
embrace good changes that less adventurous people are afraid of. But on
other occasions it's a liability, like when you figure out solutions to
budding problems that no one else is even aware of yet. I believe this kind
of disjunction will happen with regularity in 2004. Your first reaction
may be to feel frustrated. "I have the answer," you'll feel like screaming
at your cohorts, "to the question you people desperately need to ask!"
Here's some advice about how to avoid this crazy-making situation: Accept
the fact that it will be just as important to *sell* your brilliant solution
as to come up with it in the first place.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): After having dined at the Urasawa sushi bar
in Los Angeles, I'm prepared to give you advice about your love life in
2004. It should have a lot in common with the sake I drank there: delicate
yet potent, so unique as to be almost (but not quite) strange, enjoyed most
when sipped slowly, and made from individually polished grains of rice
grown next to sacred groves of sakaki trees and fed by an ancient
underground spring.
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HOMEWORK: Make a list of your anti-resolutions. What weird habits,
incorrigible vices, and controversial actions do you promise to cultivate
in 2004? Testify by going to www.freewillastrology.com and clicking on
"Email Rob."
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2003, 2004 Rob Brezsny
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