Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology Newsletter
dares you to explore a higher form of skepticism
in which you express insightful doubt
and surprised curiosity
whenever a supposedly intelligent person
unleashes a gratuitous blast of knee-jerk cynicism
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December 10, 2003
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www.freewillastrology.com
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"Do not be critics, you people, I beg you. I was a critic and I wish
I could take it all back because it came from a smelly and
ignorant place in me and spoke with a voice that was all rage and
envy. Do not dismiss a book until you have written one, and do
not dismiss a movie until you have made one, and do not dismiss a
person until you have met them. It is a ****load of work to be
open-minded and generous and understanding and forgiving and
accepting, but, Christ, that is what matters. What matters is
saying yes."
-Dave Eggers in the Summer issue of "The Harvard Advocate."
Eggers' memoir is *A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering
Genius.*
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Editor's Note: Sorry about the censorship in the Eggers' quote
above, where I wrote "****" instead of a certain four-letter
word. The sad fact is that if I wrote the actual word, a sizable
percentage of you wouldn't receive this newsletter at all. It
would be treated as spam or porn by your or your ISP's filtering
mechanism.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week of December 11
Copyright 2003 by Rob Brezsny
www.freewillastrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Six miles from Maui is a Hawaiian
island that tourists never visit -- Kaho'olawe. The U.S. Navy
seized it in 1941 and used it as a target range for decades. After
years of protests by Native Hawaiians, the Navy finally stopped
bombing and began a clean-up campaign. Last month it formally
turned control of the island over to the rightful owners. "You can
get a feel on Kaho'olawe of what it was like to live on Hawaii at
the time of our ancestors," says Native Hawaiian Davianna
McGregor. "We can practice our traditions there without it being
a tourist attraction. It's one place we can go to be in communion
with our natural life forces." Every one of us has a personal
version of Kaho'olawe, Aries: a part of our psyche that has been
stolen or colonized by hostile forces. It's a perfect moment for
you to take back yours.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Three billion years ago, the
Earth's original single-cell organisms thrived in a carbon
dioxide-rich atmosphere. As a byproduct of their metabolism,
however, they released an abundant amount of oxygen. It was a
pollutant that ultimately made their environment uninhabitable
for them, though it prepared the way for the oxygen-breathers
that now dominate the planet. Now let's meditate on how this
might be a useful metaphor for you, Taurus. Is there any
"pollutant" produced by the person you were in the past that
could be valuable for the person you will become in the future?
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Vanessa Lucero, a 14-year-old
New Mexico girl, is your role model this week. In October, she
was named homecoming princess at her high School. On the
weekend of her reign, she also played in a game for the football
team, becoming the first female in school history to score a
touchdown. During the span of a few glorious hours, she wore
both a helmet and a tiara. Like Vanessa, you Geminis now have
the potential to notch triumphs in two separate spheres using
different sets of skills.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): The world's most famous Cancer,
U.S. President George W. Bush, has described his relationship
with newspapers this way: "I glance at the headlines just to kind
of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and
get briefed by people who read the news themselves." Please
don't imitate Bush's approach as you gather information in the
coming days, my fellow Crabs. It's crucial that you never rely on
third-hand reports as you penetrate to the root of every
unfolding plot. You know how journalists sometimes bury really
interesting and mysterious details at the end of their stories?
That's what life will do.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): After a study found that a majority of
heterosexual men dive into sexual intercourse without any
warm-up, Britain launched its first annual National Foreplay
Day last July. How about if we borrow this holiday for your use,
Leo? I'm not saying you've been remiss in your approach to
maximizing erotic pleasure, but there's always room for
improvement. Besides, from an astrological perspective this is a
favorable time to expand your mastery of the arts of love. In
fact, let's borrow another British holiday, National Orgasm Day.
I hereby proclaim this Universal Foreplay and Orgasm Week for
all Leos.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): This week's horoscope features the
poetry of U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. Delivered
at a news briefing, it provides a perfect frame for the current
state of your fate. "As we know," he said, "there are known
knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there
are known unknowns. That is to say, we know there are some
things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns,
the ones we don't know we don't know." You, Virgo, are very
close to discovering at least two of your personal unknown
unknowns. (For more poetry by Rumsfeld, check out the book
*Pieces of Intelligence : The Existential Poetry of Donald H.
Rumsfeld,* edited by Hart Seel.)
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In addition to the written horoscopes you find here, I create
longer, more in-depth audio horoscopes. They cost $6 a pop if
you access them on the Web via RealAudio or $1.99 per minute
if you want them over the phone.
For Web access, go here:
http://www.relationshipnetwork.com/horo/index.asp?client_id
=50700
From the United States, call
1-900-950-7700.
If you live in Canada, call 1-888-499-4425 to purchase a
Block of Time. Then call 1-888-682-8777 to get your reading.
If you have a 900# block on your phone, there's another way to
access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes by phone. Using your
credit card, call 1-877-873-4888 to buy the amount of time
that best suits you. Then call 1-888-682-8777 to get your
reading.
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): My Libran friend John was
constantly harassed and shamed by his father over trivial issues
when he was growing up. A typical scenario often occurred in the
kitchen as John scanned the refrigerator for an appetizing snack.
"You idiot!" his dad would scream at him. "How many millions of
times have I told you not to hold the refrigerator door open so
long?" John would immediately close the door and leave in
silence, feeling humiliated and hungry. When he told me this
story today, here's what I advised him to do: Keep his
refrigerator door open for as long as it takes to wipe away the
pain of his father's inane cruelty. To the rest of you Libras I say:
Rebel in a way that will heal a wound from childhood.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Like every species, harmful
microbes evolve over time in response to environmental
conditions. Syphilis, for example, was far more lethal and fast-
spreading 500 years ago. It killed its human victims relatively
quickly, which diminished its ability to proliferate in new hosts.
Ultimately, a milder variety developed to ensure the survival of
the species. An infected person lived longer and could spread the
syphilis strain further. I propose that you adopt this model as a
metaphor for dealing with your bad moods, aberrant behavior,
and temporary attacks of insanity. Cultivate your relationship
with the milder forms of these pathologies, confident that this
will make the nastier versions obsolete.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I saw the Acura commercial on
TV tonight. The car was driving through a remote high desert.
Through the magic of computer graphics, it seemed to be
creating the road as it moved, laying down paved blacktop where
before there was only dirt. I thought of you immediately,
Sagittarius. You're in a comparable situation, right? There's no
path where you're going, so you'll have to make it for yourself as
you proceed.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn actress Drea de
Matteo's career is in full bloom. Besides her regular role on
HBO's "The Sopranos," she has been in nine movies since 2001.
To what should we attribute her success? Lots of talent, for one.
A playwright mother who exposed her to the theater early, for
two. During her recent appearance on Carson Daly's "Last Call"
TV show, she revealed a ballsy magic that constitutes a third
ingredient. She told Daly she keeps the testicles of her Great
Dane, which she had neutered a few years ago, in a jar of
formaldehyde by her bed. Take inspiration from her example,
Capricorn. It's high time you acknowledged the fact that skill and
hard work may not be enough to get you where you want to go;
you also need *mojo.*
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): "So many of us are not in our
bodies, really at home and vibrantly present there," says dancer
Gabrielle Roth. "Nor are we in touch with the basic rhythms that
constitute our bodily life. We live outside ourselves -- in our
heads, our memories, our longings -- absentee landlords of our
own estate." Does any of that description fit you, Aquarius? If so,
here's good news: The months ahead will provide you with the
best opportunity ever to come home to your body, to inhabit it
with robust awareness and gratitude. And it all starts now. To
show you're ready, find a place to be alone in the dark, put on
music that moves you, and dance yourself all the way back into
your body.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Each week I give my readers
homework. A recent assignment was to finish the sentence, "The
one thing that keeps me from being myself is __________."
Many respondents filled in the blank with "my fears." Other
common answers were "lack of money," "my spouse," and "my
obsession with everyone's images of me." But the best
contribution was from Ann-Marie at www.getunderground.com.
She said, "The one thing that keeps me from being myself is
people's reluctance to lick patent leather." By not taking herself
too seriously, she showed that *nothing* can keep her from
being herself. Drawing inspiration from her sterling example,
Pisces, finish this sentence in a more humorous way than you
normally might: "The one thing that keeps me from being myself
is __________."
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HOMEWORK: Describe the slightly scary adventure you're going
to dare yourself to undertake in 2004. Testify by going to
www.freewillastrology.com and clicking on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing charts these days. But I can recommend a colleague
whose astro-aesthetics closely match my own. She's RO
LOUGHRAN.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth,
and a high degree of technical proficiency in horoscope
interpretation; she is skilled at exploring the mysteries of your
life's purpose and nurturing your connection with your own
inner wisdom. In addition to over 20 years of astrological
experience, Ro is also a licensed psychotherapist, allowing her
to integrate psychological insight with the cosmological
perspective that astrology offers.
Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and
otherwise work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.
Ro's website is at
http://www.astrology-psychotherapy.com/
She can be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
Namaste,
Rob
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To find out more about reading or ordering Rob Brezsny's book,
THE TELEVISIONARY ORACLE
or music CD,
GIVE TOO MUCH,
go here:
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2003 Rob Brezsny
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