Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology Newsletter
avoids New Age mumbo-jumbo and psychobabble
as it logically lays out the case
for the likelihood
that life is inherently designed
to give us exactly what we need,
exactly when we need it
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December 3, 2003
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www.freewillastrology.com
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"I maintain that we are born and grow up with a fondness for
each other, and that we have genes for that. We can be talked out
of that fondness, for the genetic message is like a distant music,
and some of us are hard of hearing. Societies are noisy affairs,
drowning out the sound of ourselves and our connection. Hard of
hearing, we go to war. Stone-deaf, we make thermonuclear
missiles. Nonetheless, the music is there, waiting for more
listeners."
-Lewis Thomas
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week of December 4
Copyright 2003 by Rob Brezsny
www.freewillastrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): British performance artist Mark
McGowan was offended by the widespread international mockery
of his country's cuisine. In protest, he decided to express his
pride by turning himself into an English breakfast. A store near
London let him live in the front window for 12 days, during
which time he sat in a vat of baked beans with a crown of
sausages on his head and a deep-fried potato wedge lodged in each
nostril. In the coming week, Aries, the astrological omens
suggest you should be as bold and imaginative as McGowan in
support of your own pet cause.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If typical, you will make love
about 2,500 times in your lifetime. But maybe only 25 of those
encounters will offer this week's blend of physical rapture and
spiritual breakthrough. I'm not exaggerating, Taurus. The
cosmos is inviting you to be the recipient of a mind-expanding
peak experience or two. To take maximum advantage, be as
innocent and open as you dare. Find the place in you where lust
and compassion overlap. (P.S. You don't necessarily need a
partner to enjoy these gifts. If you're single, shed any shame you
have about solo sex and explore its mysteries.)
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Every poll I've seen asserts that far
more women than men make use of astrology. It was only a
matter of time before macho dudes discovered this and sought to
exploit it. One such guy is Gemini Pat Burrell, a baseball player
for the Philadelphia Phillies. In an interview in a men's
magazine, he marveled at how much success he'd had on first
dates by talking about horoscopes. In the coming weeks, his
experience will apply to you -- only more so. No matter what
gender or sexual preference you are, discussing astrology will
be a surefire way to advance romance. For that matter, initiating
conversations about *any* subject that gives a mythic flavor to
intimate matters will stimulate the flow of sexy vibes. You
might want to check out *Skymates: Love, Sex and Evolutionary
Astrology,* by Jodie and Steven Forrest.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): I'm worried you'll suffer an attack
of shyness or modesty this week. Instead of pushing to get exactly
what you want, you might dream up lame excuses to explain to
yourself why it's OK if you don't get exactly what you want. Or
you may be satisfied too easily and retreat to your hiding place
before fate has a chance to bestow the fullness of its unexpected
blessings on you. Please fight off this trend, Cancerian. Give
your inner wimp a dozen roses and send your inner warrior out
to collect your just deserts.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Pop quiz! 1. You are so attractive these
days that you risk rousing the envy of people whose support you
need. True or false? 2. You now have the ability to change the
weather merely by wiggling your eyebrows or wrinkling your
nose. True or false? 3. Since you are so exceptionally fertile --
with an equal power to supercharge the growth of beautiful
blooms and nasty weeds -- you will have to be very
discriminating about where you point your mojo. True or false?
4. You are unusually susceptible to being manipulated through
flattery. True or false?
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The Chilean Congress has recently
considered a bill that would mandate afternoon siestas for all
workers. As a nap activist who has lobbied long and hard for
everyone to get more dream time, I cheered this revolutionary
proposal. Now I'm asking you, Virgo, to join me in the struggle
to gain even more sleepers' rights. What specific action can you
take? For starters, spend more time asleep and dreaming in the
coming week than you ever have -- and don't let any workaholic,
sleep-deprived cranky-head shame you for it. Your productivity
will rise; I guarantee it. (P.S. The astrological moment is also
ripe for you to rise up against the tyranny of Type A
overachievers who think everyone should be as addicted to stress
as they are.)
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In addition to the written horoscopes you find here, I create
longer, more in-depth audio horoscopes. They cost $6 a pop if
you access them on the Web via RealAudio or $1.99 per minute
if you want them over the phone.
For Web access, go here:
http://www.relationshipnetwork.com/horo/index.asp?client_id
=50700
From the United States, call
1-900-950-7700.
If you live in Canada, call 1-888-499-4425 to purchase a
Block of Time. Then call 1-888-682-8777 to get your reading.
If you have a 900# block on your phone, there's another way to
access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes by phone. Using your
credit card, call 1-877-873-4888 to buy the amount of time
that best suits you. Then call 1-888-682-8777 to get your
reading.
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Octopuses have eyes that can focus on
two different scenes simultaneously. In some species one eye is
specialized to see things in the murky depths while the other eye
concentrates on sights in sunlit waters. I suggest you make this
creature your power animal in the coming week. To keep
apprised of the complex plots that will be unfolding around you
in every direction, you will need the equivalent of the octopus's
vision.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): For a mere $99.95, I could remove
the curse you're suffering from. But I'd feel bad about taking
your money when you could get rid of the damn thing yourself. In
fact, why don't you do just that, and send yourself a check for
$99.95? Here's all you have to do. Step one: Visualize an object
that symbolizes the accursed influence. Picture yourself
throwing it into a furnace. Step two: Visualize the person you
feel is most responsible for the curse. Imagine that one end of a
rope is tied around your waist and the other end around the
person. Picture yourself cutting through the rope with a
chainsaw as you call out, "You have no friggin' power over me!"
Step three: Repeat steps one and two twice a day for 11 days.
Step four: On the eleventh day, laugh so long and hard that you
fall on the floor and cry tears of joyful release.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Master astrologer Steven
Forrest believes you Sagittarians often thrive on learning things
the hard way. I agree. Here are my three explanations of why
this is so. 1. One of your main tasks in life is to cultivate
wisdom, and you'll never accomplish that if everything comes
too easily for you. 2. To maintain your mental hygiene, you need
to push regularly into the unknown, where the rules for success
are as yet unwritten. 3. You are sometimes susceptible to being
dogmatic, which can interfere with your ability to discern
simple, obvious, up-to-the-minute truths. To shock you out of
your tunnel vision, your higher self needs to trick you into
making interesting mistakes.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): "Slashing through undergrowth
and counting poop is an expensive, time-consuming, dirty, hot,
and nasty business," said Dr. Richard Ruggiero of the African
Elephant Conservation Fund. Quoted by Andrew Revkin in the
New York Times, he was talking about studying forest elephants
that are threatened with extinction. But I immediately thought of
you when I read that, Capricorn. It's a good metaphor for what's
happening in your life. An important and beautiful aspect of your
animal nature is in peril, and the only way to save it may be for
you to do work that fits Ruggiero's description.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Psychotherapy obsesses on what's
wrong with people and gives short shrift to what's right. The
manual of the profession is a 943-page text called the *DSM-
IV* that identifies scores of pathological states but no healthy
ones. I often complain about this tragic fact and ask my readers
to help me compile material for a proposed *Anti-DSM-IV,* a
compendium of all the positive, noble, feel-good categories. One
reader, Alka Bhargava, has suggested a condition that you
Aquarians will be able to achieve regularly this week. He calls it
"Joyful Poignance," and describes it like this: "The ability to be
buoyantly joyful while remaining aware of the sadness,
injustices, ancient wounds, and future fears that form the
challenges in an examined life."
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You might enjoy Pearl Cleage's
novel *Some Things I Never Thought I'd Do.* It's got soulful
characters, a strong social consciousness, and a dramatic mix of
suffering and redemption. But you don't have to read the book to
carry out the advice in this week's horoscope. All you have to do
is write your own personal version of "Some Things I Never
Thought I'd Do" -- a two-page stream-of-consciousness essay is
fine -- and then go out and start actually doing the things you've
described therein.
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HOMEWORK: Tell what techniques you've discovered about
feeding honey to crocodiles. Testify by going to
www.freewillastrology.com and clicking on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing charts these days. But I can recommend a colleague
whose astro-aesthetics closely match my own. She's RO
LOUGHRAN.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth,
and a high degree of technical proficiency in horoscope
interpretation; she is skilled at exploring the mysteries of your
life's purpose and nurturing your connection with your own
inner wisdom. In addition to over 20 years of astrological
experience, Ro is also a licensed psychotherapist, allowing her
to integrate psychological insight with the cosmological
perspective that astrology offers.
Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and
otherwise work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.
Ro's website is at
http://www.astrologypsychology.com
She can be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
Namaste,
Rob
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To find out more about Rob Brezsny's book,
THE TELEVISIONARY ORACLE
or music CD,
GIVE TOO MUCH,
go here:
http://www.freewillastrology.com/store/
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2003 Rob Brezsny
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