"May I have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change ..." Continuing further with topic of letting go of a couple of weeks ago, I think that sometimes forgiving someone for a previous transgression may be a necessary step in order to be able to let go of a painful event in the past that can't be changed. Forgiveness really isn't about making the other person feel better for harming us, although they may be very grateful to know they are forgiven. Forgiveness happens within ourselves alone. It is about getting rid of the pent up anger, sadness, fear, bitterness, disappointment, resentment, or other painful feelings that are stuck, churning inside ourselves, and possibly making us sick. There is no point to purposefully hanging on to the hurt and anger associated with being wronged for years and years. For example, if one's spouse or lover left for someone else, no doubt it hurts tremendously. But why keep hurting oneself by hanging onto that pain forever? Carrying that feeling of being wronged like a badge of honour may make one feel more righteous than the other person, but the venom inside is only harming the person carrying it. As in the past example, forgiving can be extremely difficult. If someone close to you was murdered, how is it possible to forgive the murderer? I am not suggesting that by forgiving a murderer that that person should be allowed to roam the streets. Forgiveness is about freeing ONESELF of negative feelings, letting go, and moving on. Even in far less severe circumstances, being able to truly forgive is really hard. I find that wanting to let go and being able to let go are two very different things. For me it is easy to forgive on an intellectual level, but getting that shift to happen at the gut level can be staggeringly difficult. Sometimes our nervous system and neuropeptide system have linked so much pain to a situation, that we feel completely blocked emotionally. Being unable to forgive at an emotional level holds one hostage to the past, making it difficult to move forward in life. I don't have any real answers on how to overcome this kind of emotional baggage, except to suggest that everyone is doing the best they can considering the state of mind, information and ability they have at any given time. If any of you have any other suggestions, please share! Please do keep the comments coming on my blog. If you want to share this article, go to the blog post and scroll to the bottom and click on the "share this" icon. If you want to search for other posts by title or by topic, go to www.wellnesstips.ca.
Related tips Copyright 2006/2012 Vreni Gurd |
Is getting fit a New Year's Resolution for you this year? Almost all of the exercise DVDs on the market are geared to young people wanting to be lean and mean. Apart from yoga and Pilates DVDs, there is virtually nothing geared to the over-40 group, whose goals are different from the younger generation. Boomers want to be healthy and pain free while looking good. Compared to other DVDs geared to this age group The Anti-Aging Exercise Solution is more energetic, more yang than yin, and is more strength conditioning with a corrective exercise bias. This ensures good form which results in better posture, taking years off one’s age, and vastly improving joint health. The DVD shows you: • How to regain or improve your strength and flexibility! • The key exercises that target and reverse common postural weaknesses! • A full body workout detailing correct technique and common mistakes to avoid. The Anti-Aging Exercise Solution is a complete workout for the exercise enthusiast and the wannabe from age 40 to 100. The power of the exercise is in the details! Buy the DVD now and start your journey to better function by getting stronger and more flexible. |