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Have you ever given someone a gift, and seen the look of horror in their eyes
when they don't have anything for you in return? Often those gifts are the
most authentic and happily given and nothing is expected in return, yet instead
of being received with joy, they can cause embarrassment. Have you ever
felt badly when you received an unexpected gift? Often when I ask for gift
ideas, the response is that nothing is wanted but time together, and although I know
that that answer is a sincere one, I still seem to feel the need to purchase
something. Why? Many of us in the Western world have so much stuff that we really don't
need or want anything more. I think that the pressure of needing a gift to
give because of the cultural / social expectations of the season may take away
from the meaning of the occasion.
Giving is not something that needs to be saved for special occasions. Giving should not cause financial strain or regret on the part of the giver, and it should not create obligation of any kind in the recipient. Often generosity requires practice and a belief in abundance. An exercise to help oneself feel more generous, might be to give something small away every day for a week or two, and notice our feelings around giving. Recognize any discomfort around giving and continue giving
despite of the discomfort, and that comfort zone will expand with practice. As you give away to others, you will notice how it comes back to you 100 fold.
As the years go by, I find that more and more, the most precious thing I
have is time. My time is worth far more to me than money, probably because
I don't seem to feel that I have enough of it. My time is probably the
gift that my family and friends would appreciate the most, but it is also the
gift that seems the hardest for me to give. Not because I don't want to -
I have to continue to work on re-arranging my life to make more time available.
My goal for this next year is to be more generous with my time, and to be fully
present with my friends and family without feeling anxious about the work that
is not being completed while I am in their company. Hopefully as I change
my belief about my lack of time into a more useful belief about having an
abundance of time, the balance in my life that I am seeking will finally
materialize.
Happy 2007, everyone!
Related tips:
An attitude of gratitude
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